Pag«2-THE NEWS-April, 1963
Spotlighting Federation
THE CHARLOTTE lEWISH NEWS
Published monthly by:
Jewish Community Center
Huold Cohen, Director
Charlotte Jewish Federation
Foundation of Charlotte Jewish Community
Marvin Bienstock, Director
Charlotte Hebrew Academy
Eleanor Weinglasa, Director
Editors Ann Langman & Rita Mond
Cartoonist Monroe Katz
Copy deadline the 6th of each month
P.O. Box220188, Charlotte, N.C. 28222
Th0 appeurmaet of mdvmtitiag in The N*w§ dot not eoattitute a luthruth on-
donomont.
Guest Editorial
Our Jewish News has fast become an inspirational
tableau to provoke serious thought and reflection and
to contemplate contemporary problems of the Jewish
family.
Our temples and Sabbath tables were once the cor
nerstones of Jewish life and tradition. Now they are
mere slots to be plugged into complex schedules when
time permits.
It was then a generation of “Us’s” and “We’s” in a
caring home steeped in tradition and discipline —
children encircling mothers and fathers who devoted
themselves to the task of bringing their loved ones to
adulthood in a “haimish” environment — children who
often matured with their peers in a Jewish community
setting instilled with a sense of right and respect for
traditional values.
It is now a generation of “I’s” and “Me’s” in a world
torn with terrorism, saddled with subversive conduct,
and tainted by chemicals with video game rooms and
loitering in shopping center malls.
Hasn’t the day come when mothers and fathers must
overcome the wails of frustration harbored by Jewish
educators who daily contend with the pressure of their
students’ secular activities?
Hasn’t the day come when mothers and fathers
realize that their treasures are not the jewels stored in
safes and locked boxes but the joys and love stored in
the hearts of their children and the wisdom to be glean
ed from the aged?
Hasn’t the day come when mothers and fathers must
perpetuate and foster the growth of Hebrew day
schools and Jewish Community Centers as oases in a
desert often barren of Jewish thought and learning?
Hasn’t the day come for mothers and fathers to
become concerned more with ethics, values and a sense
of the human soul and spirit, than the rules of the ball
field and the thrill of victory?
Can we as parents consciously now make an effort to
cause our children and our children’s children to
become beneficiaries of a world where there is peace
among nations; beneficiaries of a community where
there is sharing among neighbors; and the beneficiaries
of homes where there is love among those dear to them?
— Donald M. Tepper
By Richard A. Klein
A decision was made
several months ago that your
Federation should start
planning now for the com
munity’s future. The Federa
tion immediately extended
an invitation to Charlotte’s
major Jewish institutions to
be represented in this long
range planning effort.
The process has begun
under the direction of Harry
Lerner, chairperson, and
Marvin Bienstock. the
Federation’s executive direc
tor. Initial meetings have
shown that, if anything, this
kind of thinking is overdue.
Providing input to the long
range committee will be more
than our own community can
handle. We will also be rely
ing on the expertise and
regular assistance of the
Council of Jewish Federa
tions, based in New York, of
which our local Federation is
a dues-paying member.
Robert Hyman is a CJF
field representative assigned
to Charlotte and he has been
in regular contact with our
local Federation office.
Hyman and Les Levin were
in Charlotte to meet with
members of the Charlotte
Jewish organizations to sug
gest ways to plan for the
future.
The CJF professionals
reminded those assembled at
the JCC for the meeting that
“staying where you are to
day is dying. You have to
face the issues. It is time to
look at what you might elect
to do.”
One item that the long
range planning committee
quickly targeted for atten
tion is day care, especially
after school care. CJF is
aware that 80-percent of
Jewish children in day care
centers nationwide are in
church-related schools.
Naturally these kinds of
schools have no Jewish ex
posure. and it is a source of
concern.
There is a national push
now on for Jewish day care
centers, and Charlotte ap
pears to be no exception to
the rest of the country with a
need.
There are other subjects to
be addressed. More attention
needs to be given to non
family categories. All of us
must wake up to realities
road. CJF is calling to our
attention that we live in an
aging society. We’ll be
needing less and less in the
way of taking care of our
young as the concerns of
older Jews will face us. The
guess is that there are about
250 Jewish children in
Charlotte 0-4; 500 that are
5-14 years old. But we have
1600 people in the 30-59
Lt. to rt.: Evelyn Berger, Mae Kropp, Mike Scbarf
and Use Bergen at first long range planning meeting —
more pictures on page 16.
that there are now many one-
parent families, singles, col
lege students and the elderly
who want to express their
Judaism. But they often feel
trapped in a Judaism that is
so traditionally family
oriented—many times to the
exclusion of those who don’t
fit the standard mold.
The Council of Jewish
Federations also wants to
put to rest the myth that
there are no poor Jews. The
U.S. Department of Energy
alone recently provided a $1
million grant to assist poor
Jews! We have to open our
eyes that there are Jews on
fixed incomes who are hav
ing a difficult, if not impossi
ble time surviving.
As we proceed to build our
project, plan our programs
and hire staff in pur
Charlotte Jewish institu
tions, we must look down the
category, and 600 who are 60
and over.
In the months and years
ahead, long range planning
will be looking at Jewish
education in Charlotte,
health care, counseling,
single adults, college student
population, vocational guid
ance—and much more.
Where do you see the
needs? What kinds of ser
vices do we need to be pro
viding? Where are the gaps
in service?
We’d like to hear from you.
Send your thoughts in
writing to: Long Range Plan
ning. Charlotte Jewish
Federation, P.O. Box 220188,
Charlotte, NC 28222.
AN J«wsar«
0MMi0th«r
nta HT
Reprinted from The Jewish Post and Opinion
Jewish Divorce: Our Citanging World
By Arlene G. Peck
A very astute and married
friend of mine recently com
mented that he
was afraid that
he was getting
old. He was
worried that^
quite often he
was ready,
willing and
able but not
always at the
same time. He then con
tinued saying that he **had
been married for 17 years
and had almost forgotten
what it was like not to be
married.”
I CAN REMEMBER when
I wasn’t married but I seem
to be recalling the people
that we once were. It made
me reflect on how many of us
are the same as we were even
a few short years ago. Or,
more importantly, how many
of us like the individuals
that we have become? Come
to think of it, life would be
awfully boring if everything
stayed the same, especially
people. However, as true as
death and taxes, nothing
stays the same.
Unfortunately, most of the
conflicts that arise in mar
riage do so when one of the
parties change and the other
resists the changes. There is
a lot of truth in the expres
sion, “If you don’t grow
together, you grow apart.”
ANOTHER FRIEND
recently told me after his
divorce, “We could- have
made it work, but we didn’t
want it badly enough. I knew
that there were other women
out there that I could date
and she could find other
men. We didn't need Uie
grief. Life’s too short.”
With attitudes such as
that, it is no wonder that the
divorce rate is running 50
percent.
The situations that people
aren’t willing to put up with
in today’s world were lived
with as a matter of course
when I was growing up in the
South. True, there was pro
bably a lot of miserable peo
ple coexisting under the
same roof, but Jewish homes
just did not break up.
100 YEARS AGO a Jewish
woman never had to make a
decision. Everything was
decided for her by her hus
band, synagogue or family.
Not too many years ago if a
home did break up, the scan
dal was borne like a scarlet
letter on both parties and the
alternative was to stay mar
ried or leave town. I wonder
how many of my parents’
friends stayed together for
the children? Unfortunately,
even today in the South,
divorce is generally more dif
ficult on the women because
they feel that there is a
stigma against them.
I recently spoke on this
topic with Atlanta therapist,
Mark Weiss, who shed yet
another light on the pro
blems resulting from the fact
of we, as Jews, becoming too
smug in our apartness from
the general population. Dr.
Weiss feels, “Judaism today
is so watered down with
modern values and assimila
tion that one is no longer to
day in a Jewish environ
ment.” No longer do our
lives center around the
guidepost that they once did.
We have changed and
established a different iden
tity. Judaism used to be the
unchanging rock. Now we
question how to redifine
ourselves in a changing
world.
UNFORTUNATELY, I
feel that the synagogues and
the Jewish organizations
have been slow in repon-
siveness and sorely lacking
in flexability. Today, when
the question of divorce
arises in a Jewish home
usually they get their feed
back from their friends.
Everyone gives different ad
vice and besides confusion,
the variety of feedback
forces you to make your own
decisions. The base of much
of the anxiety that is happen
ing today stems from coping
in a world that is lacking in
consistency.
Where years ago so much
of our lifestyle was done
solely, “for the kids,” that's
not the case now. In most
homes today, the way a
(Continued on Page 17)