Bagel Wars II: Return of the Rabbi
By Rabbi Marc H. Wilson
Just when you thought it
was safe to put your dentures
back in the water...Bagel Wars
rage anew. The seeth^g ques
tion: Kettle-Boiled or Oven-
Steamed? Tradition or innova
tion? Shouts of “Less filling!
Tastes great!” waft across
Providence Road as an evenly
divided Jewish community
heatedly debates the pas
sionate issue.
Is “Ovensteam" Goldstein
(Bagelworks) the Ted Turner
of bageldom, egotistically
claiming that he has improved
on the classics through Brave
New World computer hocus-
pocus? Is “Potboiler” Fox
(Bubbe's Bagels) a loyal
defender of the true old faith,
or Darth Vader in disguise?
I AM the RABBI. My girth
and extensive Talmudic train
ing bring me the prerogative
of final arbitration of this mat
ter that shakes Jewish destiny
to its core:
I declare the genesis of the
individual bagel immaterial.
Oven-Steamed or Kettle-Boiled,
they are both equally exalted
through cream cheese. They
both wax equally rhapsodic
regaled in lox and Bermuda
onion. They are both equally
extolled through whitefish
salad. They both have a half-
life of fifteen minutes. They
both equally resist the hereti
cal inroads of Canadian ba—.
They are both the bedrock of
authenticity next to the
styrofoam imposters lurking
in the Harris Teeter freezer.
I say “Amen!” to the com
ment I recently overheard
from the lips of no one less
than Rev. Joseph Chambers:
“1 can’t define the bagel, but
I know it when I see it!”
In all fairness, there is one
other genus of fresh-baked
bagel growing right here in
Charlotte, at Peck’s Bakery
way, way out on Pence (!)
Road. I visited Peck’s one re
cent noontime. There, cower
ing in a comer among the cot
tony dinner rolls and hotdog
buns, looking about as out-of-
place as I do having lunch at
the City Club, was a tray of,
yep, bagels.
“Hey, Mary, I didn’t know
you b^ed bagels!”
“Oh, Rabb-ayh,” she con
fessed in her sweetest Baptist
drawl, “we call those our ‘gen-
tahl bagels.’ You wouldn’t
lahk those.”
So, truth be told, the real
culprit is neither the boilers
nor the steamers, but .the
“gen-tahl” phoney masquerad
ing around in a world of
Cohens and Rabinowitzes.
You of the Methodist and
Presbyterian persuasion need
to know that better things
await those whose hearts are
open to the legacy of Moses,
Isaiah and Buddy Hackett.
There. Now that we’ve put
the important issues to rest,
let’s refresh our mind with a
little trivia, like feeding the
hungry children of the world,
who c^dn’t give a hoot about
steamed or boiled to fill the un
conscionable pit in their un
conscionably empty stomachs.
Page 15-THE NEWS>June/July, 1988
Yiddish Institute at Wildacres
JWB Biennial Convention c»ntin«ed fr.m page i
pleted a census study, which
might be of benefit to us.
It wasn’t all hard work and
forums. Thursday night there
was a gorgeous reception at
the New Union Station. But
again on Friday, I attended
another forum: “Sq)histicated
Services for the Mature Adult”
— a presentation of model pro
grams with a view to under
standing how to respond to
the needs of a growing target
population. There is an ex
cellent marketing memo: “The
Graying of America” from
which I learned: In 1990,1 out
of 5 people in this country will
be 65 and older. We must try
to understand what aging
means to each mature adult....
we don’t add years to people’s
lives, we want to add life to
people’s years. The effort to
restore dignity to our older
adults depends on our collec
tive wisdom. The volunteer
program in each “J” is an in
tegral part of the success of
the older adult programming.
Suggestion: form an AARP
Chapter here. Perhaps we
could call our older adults the
“VIPs” as certainly they are!
The Shabbat dinner was the
icing on the cake. The meal
was elegant and we were enter
tained by the speaker of the
evening, Chaim Potok, who
was outstanding and delight
ful At the Oneg we were
entertained by the U.S. Air
Force Academy Jewish Choir,
which was wonderful. The
Shabbat services were held; it
was the first time since I was
a teenager that I sat with the
other ladies in a segregated
area.
The reception and dessert
gala at the Arch was over
whelming, which included the
trip to the top of the Arch. It
was a wonderful ending to a
most informative, friendly and
warm interlude of learning and
sharing.
World Beat—
My personal thanks go to
Barry Hantman for making
certain that Larry and I met
the people we should meet and
that we were well informed.
Charlotte Yiddish Institute Committee: 1st row (L to R) Liebe Pollard,
Sarah Goldman, Elkie Tulman, Baila Pransky, Raizel Luski, Moishe
Bienstock; 2nd row {JL to R) Zalman Tulman, Yehudah Goldman, Avraham
Luski. Article and more pictures will appear in Aug. issue.
Photo/Sam Wallace
The Community Relations Committee
of the
Charlotte Jewish Federation
invites you to attend
the second in a series
JEWISH COMMUNITY FORUM
Topic: Continuing Crisis in Israel:
The West Banli and Gaza Strip—
Building a Constructive Dialogue for Peace
Thursday, June 16, 1988
8:00 p.m.-9:30 p.m.
Gorelick Hall, Shalom Park
Speaker BRIGADIER GENERAL FREDDY ZACH,
Deputy Coordinator of Government Operations in
Judea, Samaria and Gaza District
Free admission
cont’d from page 4
murder begins a rehabilitation
program at a kibbutz.
William Shapira, 62, was
paroled by the governor of
Florida after Herut Lapid,
head of the kibbutz move
ment’s prisoner rehabilitation
program, interceded on his
behalf. Lapid acted at the re
quest of several prominent
Israelis interested in the case.
Under the agreement with the
Florida authorities, he will
be responsible for Shapira for
the 12 remaining years of his
sentence.
Tid-Bits
TEL AVIV (JTA) - Israel
will exchange weapons for coal
under a four-year trade agree
ment with Colombia. Colom
bia will purchase $250 million
worth of military equipment
from Israel, including the Kfir
jet fighter plane. Israel will
purchase 500,000 tons of coal
from Colombia.
•
NEW YORK (JTA) ~ Over
weight young women attend
ing yesMvas and day schools
can attend a four-year-old
“slim-down” camp in Wood-
boume, N.Y.
Its name? Camp NU-YU.
•
MASADA (JTA) - This
serene mountaintop in the Ju
dean Hills wiU be the scene of
a musical light-and-sound
show next October 13, wind
ing up Israel’s 40th anniver
sary celebration. Next Oc
tober, the ancient hills will
echo to the music of the Israel
Philharmonic Orchestra under
the baton of its conductor and
musical director, Indian-bom
Zubin Mehta.
•
BONN (JTA) - East Ger
many has embarked on a ma
jor effort to appease Jewish
communities worldwide, es
pecially in America and in
Israel. West German analysts
conclude that for East Ger
many, reducing tensions with
Israel and with the American
Jewish community is extreme
ly important to improving
relations with Washington.
TEL AVIV (JTA)-A Saudi
businessman, his wife and
their 10 children, have ap
proached the Jewish Agency
in London with a request to
immigrate to Israel. The man
said his family is descended
from Saudi Jews, and that
they were forced to convert to
Islam during the days of
Mohammed, but they secretly
preserved thdr loyalty to their
Jewish origins. His family has
lived in isolation, he said,
because their skin coIch* is
lighter than that of otho*
Saudis. He decided to leave
Saudi Arabia following a dis
pute with the Saudi prince.
•
TEL AVIV (JTA)-Ground-
brealdng ceremonies were held
for a new children’s hospital
designed for the physical and
emotional needs of childhood,
not simply to treat their
ailments. The $60 million
medical center, serving
children throughout the Mid
dle East, wiU be erected on the
grounds of Beilinson Hospital
in Petach Tikva, largely
through the generosity of New
York realtor Irving Schneider,
who has donated millions of
dollars for the project.
Phil’s Deli
Annual Chai Party
Aug. 7 — 5*8 p.m.
Shalom Park
No Charge
LARRY S. HOROWITZ
1900 Rexford Road, Suite 120
Charlotte, North Carolina 28211
Office: (704) 365-2014
Residence: (704) 541-5160
Planning for business owners and executives
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LllUtl
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