The Charlotte Jewish News - December 2006 - Page 15
The Hebrew Cemetery Association
By Lorrie Klemons, Publicity,
Hebrew Cemetery Association
It is painful to lose someone
you love. It is even more painful
to grieve by yourself, isolated and
alone. One of the great things
about being Jewish is our tradi
tion. Just as there is a Jewish way
of life, so too, is there a Jewish
way of death. Our Judaism pro
vides us with a pattern of practice
and ritual for every aspect of
death. Keenly sensitive to the
needs of the bereaved, our tradi
tions and rituals incorporate the
utmost regard for the dying and
the deepest concern for those left
behind to mourn.
When you lose someone you
love you feel shock, despair, isola
tion,. anger, at times, even guilt.
How does one cope with the bar
rage of emotions that arise at such
a catastrophic loss? How can one
channel these emotions into posi
tive and productive expressions of
grief?
Judaism teaches us to love life.
That love is so much more pas
sionate when we embrace the tra
ditions and rituals that give it true
meaning. When we embrace life
in even the most mundane of
activities, we bring ourselves to a
higher spiritual level. In Judaism,
our attitudes about death are
shaped by our love of life, for
Judaism is a way life. So when we
bury someone we love, our being
takes on another whole existence
as our Jewish rites of mourning
become more for us the living
than for the dead.
Our Jewish practices of mourn
ing serve to both honor the
deceased and comfort the
bereaved. While those who lay
Hebrew
Cemetery
Association
dying often lose their sense of
identity, isolated by their very
own American society, Jewish tra
dition recognizes that death is part
of everyday life and teaches us to
face it with realism and honesty.
The tearing of a mourner’s gar
ment or the wearing of a tom
piece of black ribbon is a sign of
the tear in our hearts as we pub
licly confront the death of a loved
one.
We bury our dead in traditional
white linen shrouds and plain pine
coffins to remind us that death is
the great equalizer. According to
Rabbis Ron Isaacs and Kerry
Olitzky, “In the democracy of
death, all are equal, no matter
what their social or economic sta
tus.” It is the soul that ultimately
defines the person, not the materi
al possessions that one boasts.
The Zohar states that “That which
constitutes a real person is the
soul, the rest being only garments
which cover the inner essence.”
Our Judaism teaches us to love
God. At our times of greatest
need, our faith can comfort and
console. Find a way to bring God
into your life at a higher level to
further elevate your soul. Allow
Him to be both your Protector and
your Partner as you face the mys
teries and realities of living and
ultimately of dying. Allow Him to
be your rod and your staff as you
seek the strength to overcome the
challenges of life and the grief of
death.
Your community can also offer
you the strength you need. Find
that strength by reaching out and
joining hands with the other 900-
plus Charlottean Jews who togeth
er support the ideals of Jewish
communal life ... and death ...
through their membership in the
Hebrew Cemetery Association,
Membership in the cemetery helps
to elevate your soul by guarantee
ing a holy and dignified resting
place for all those who precede
you in eternal life. For more infor
mation about membership bene
fits, graves, interfaith or crema
tion areas, prepaid funeral costs,
or endowment donations, call
Cemetery Director Joe Kodsi at
704-364-4112. ■
Larry Horowitz, CLU, ChFC
L* Financial
5950 Fairview Road, Suite 608
Charlotte, NC 28210
(704) 556-9982, Fax (704) 369-2918
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Jeff Katz
(Continued from page 12)
this is Judaism - your responsibil
ity is to the living. But in addition
to that, think of what your dad
would want you to do. What
would he say?’ And clearly, his
concern was his grandson. So, it
was kind of at that point that I
went back to a synagogue for the
first time in years.”
Katz considers his father one of
his heroes. “It’s going to sound
trite but I’ve come to really
admire my father over the years.
He came essentially from a tough
background. ... I saw my dad
work very hard to raise his family,
to teach them right from wrong.
My dad’s admonitions to me were
always, ‘Don’t be stupid.’ Look,
it’s not Plato or Nietzsche, but it
pretty much keeps you on the
straight and narrow if you follow
that advice: ‘Don’t be stupid.’ So I
really have over the years come to
admire that common sense and
that devotion to family.”
At home, he and his wife,
Heidi, are making a Jewish envi
ronment for their three children,
Harry, 5, Julia, 3, and Joe, 2. “...
It’s an interesting situation
because my wife grew up
Catholic. Of course we were
going to be the family where this
was not going to be an issue. ...
We knew better than anyone else
who had ever confronted this. So
that’s an issue. That’s something
teat’s continually evolving. My
wife has become, over the years,
much more receptive and she’s
very interested in Judaism and the
kids.
“... My wife called my mom a
couple of years ago when we
moved into a new home and she
was very excited. She said, ‘Doris,
I just want to tell you we moved
into this new house and it’s beau
tiful. We know it’s really ours. Jeff
right now is outside and he’s nail
ing the meshuggene to the door.’”
Katz stops to chuckle at his wife’s
innocent confusion of
meshuggene (crazy) and mezuzah.
“She is absolutely trying and I
don’t ask any more than that.”
When asked what else could
make his life in Charlotte com
plete, Katz responds, “I’m still
looking for chopped herring.” O
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