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The Charlotte Jewish news. (Charlotte, N.C.) 19??-current, September 01, 2012, Image 19

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The Charlotte Jewish News - September 2012 - Page 19 Got an Hour to Spare? Hebrew Cemetery director, Sandra Goldman By Sandra Goldman, director, Hebrew Cemetery Austere days in the Jewish ealendar are appropriate times to go to the eemetery. As it is mentioned in the eode of Jewish law, it is proper to visit the resting plaee of the righteous during the High Holiday season and to pray in their merit. Here in Charlotte we remember our loved ones with the Hebrew Cemetery’s Annual Memorial Serviee on the Sunday between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Under big tents, approximately 250 people gather and attend the serviee whieh is led by the eler- gies of Temple Israel, Temple Beth El, and Ohr HaTorah. This year the serviee will take plaee on September 23 at 10:30 AM. Over the past three years, I have organized this event, greeted attendees, hugged, and spoken to many who have grown elose to my heart and with whom I have built relationships. I have heard the rabbis read the names of the deeeased aloud and listened to the mourners saying Kaddish. Until now I only had to repeat with the eongregants: “Y’hay sh’may rabo ....“ This year will be different and diffieult for me. I will have to say the entire Kaddish myself. Less than three months ago I buried my father z”l and so I have joined the elub nobody wants ever to join. I’ve lost a parent. I still mourn his death and the pain is still raw. It doesn’t matter that he was a very speeial man who touehed the lives of many. He is gone and his loss leaves a great void. However, I realize that I reeeived a rare opportunity, a gift of sorts. My dad’s passing and his funeral have taught me more than I ever eould have imagined and will help me to improve my pro fessional abilities. At my father’s funeral, the rabbi spoke of ruach, whieh eould cy [ Hebrew Cemetery t o Greaier Chs^^ot^e be translated as wind, soul, or spirit. Ruach enables us to fulfill our own visions and gives an opportunity to realize and aeknowledge the multitude of ehanees we have. When we eon- neet with ruach, we ean grow. I now truly understand what it means to grieve for a loved one. I have learned that a daughter grieves differently than a wife, and I realize how important eom- munity and support really are after a loss. Having reeeived this gift of sorts enables me to be more sensi tive to the needs of a grieving per son, to ehannel emotions into the right direetion and to do what needs to be done when a person passes away. So, what do we see when we attend a memorial serviee? Why do we attend? We reeognize familiar faees. We see sorrow and remembranee. We see tears and we might even hear some laugh ter. We gather together beeause we all had a eommon experienee - we lost someone we loved. The memorial serviee itself is more informal than a funeral, no remains are present, and people ean mix, mingle, and exehange reeolleetions of the deeeased. Onee a year we have the oppor tunity as a eommunity to eome together at the eemetery. By attending the Annual Memorial Serviee on September 23, you ean, in keeping with our tagline, honor the deeeased, eelebrate their lives and embraee life’s lessons. It is not neeessary to have lost someone in order to eome out on a late summer Sunday morning to the eemetery on Statesville Avenue. You don’t need to be affiliated with any temple and you don’t even have to be a member of the Hebrew Cemetery. Maybe just bring your very own ruach. Imagine what a powerful state ment you ean make by giving just one hour out of your busy sehed- ule. Imagine how many families ean feel eomforted by your pres- enee knowing that you eare about them, that you eare about your Jewish eommunity. Please eontaet me if you have any questions regarding the memorial serviee or if you want to beeome a member of the Hebrew Cemetery. I am also happy to guide you through the pre-plan ning proeess of purehasing plots. I ean be reaehed via email at diree- or on my eell at 704-576-1859. ^ Judy Goldman Explores Sisterhood and Family in Her Heartbreaking and Uplifting Memoir, Losing My Sister Book Release Event at Mint Museum on October 2 The relationship between sis ters is often the longest in a woman’s life. It ean also be the most eomplex. Award-winning author and poet Judy Goldman explores the relationship she shared with her older sister, Brenda—from the joys of ehild- hood to the sorrow of losing par ents to the trauma of adult-sibling eonfiiet to the agony of a sister’s eaneer—in her heartbreaking and uplifting memoir. Losing My Sister. Growing up in a Jewish family in Roek Hill, South Carolina, Judy and Brenda do everything togeth er. “BrendaandJudy. We’re one long word,” Goldman writes. They play piano duets, share braeelets, share everything. When the neighborhood bully throws a roek at young Judy, it’s Brenda who takes off after him, giving him a beating so hard that a neigh bor has to pull her off of him. Though their personalities are very different—Judy is the sweet one; Brenda, the strong one — they remain inseparable into adulthood. As the two grow older, Judy and Brenda struggle to break free of their preseribed roles in the family, Judy beeoming stronger and more assertive and Brenda more vulnerable. At their last par ent’s funeral, they finally over- eome their differenees and eome baek together. A deeade later, they both dis- eover lumps in their breasts. Judy’s tumor is benign, Brenda’s malignant. They eonfront their diagnoses together with love and under standing. But when Brenda’s ean eer reeurs, the sisters beeome LdsiN.1* memoir have been published in Real Simple magazine and the online journal Drafthorse. There will be book release event at the Mint Museum on Randolph Road on Oetober 2, 7-9 PM. « y i I Featuring curriculum from the Institute of Southern Jewish Life Offering classes from 4K - B’nei Mitzvah Classes begin September 9 Learn more. 2879 Hwy 160 West #4677 Fort Mill, SC 29708 Email: 803-417-7565 -I j5 mired in eonfiiet. They finally find their way baek as the possibility of permanent loss beeomes very real. Before Brenda’s death, the two sisters allow their relationship to shine like the marvelous thing it is. “Throughout the years I was working on this memoir, I strug gled with the question: Do I have the right to tell this story?” says Goldman. “Many, many times I deeided to pull the plug. But hav ing a voiee is important to me. Telling this story — one that has preoeeupied me for years — is important to me. “My hope is that with this book I will speak to anyone who has ever had a sister.” Brian Metsner, Brenda’s son, is looking forward to the book. “It’s a unique opportunity to bring my mother ‘baek to life.’ ...It will be faseinating to see my mother immortalized in Aunt Judy’s words.” Judy Goldman is the author of two novels. Early Leaving and The Slow Way Back, and two books of poetry. Segments of this CHARLOTTE LATIN You are invited to our ADMISSIONS OPEN HOUSE TK and Kindergarten Thursday, October 4, 2012 7p.m. TK and K through Grade 12 Thursday, October 18, 2012 9.30 a.m. RSVP to the Admissions Office: 704.846.7207 SCHOOL ^ ...where teaching is valued and learning is celebrated 9502 Providence Road Charlotte, North Carolina 28277 Financial assistance is available. Please inquire about the Malone Scholarship for ^fted students in jth - 12th grades.

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