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i PAGE 4 Q-Notes ■ February 1987 A FAMILY FIGHTS AIDS: PART I Recalling The Past First oi three parts. By MASK DRUM Associate Editor Flu had had me bedridden. And on this day — this Sunday — I was drag ging myself out of the house for the first time in three days to talk to a mother and father whose son is dying of AIDS. Driving to their home in a town not far -from Charlotte, the rain was relentless. With it, a cold wind picked up. The coffee mug warmed my hands as 1 listened to a Bach concerto on WFAE. 1 was apprehensive. What right did I have to intrude on the most sensitive and private things a family experi ences? These were not statistics I would talk to. They are people who laugh and love and hurt. Only, they hurt more than 1 could imagine as they find themselves in a strange world where terms like PCP and bronchoscopies and encephalitis are commonplace. I had promised to keep their identities confidential I — and they — hoped ' "As I listened and questioned, I realized that this was more than a story about tragedy, about AIDS. It's a story of a lamily, and how families cope. And it's the story of / Bobby and how his life against incredible odds brought forth ' strength and unconditional love." — Mark Drum others going through their pain would find the courage to call and talk. I sat on their living room floor, tape recorder on, pens and pad poised, re moved for an afternoon from my^ectic life in Charlotte. about tragedy, about AIDS. It's a story of a family, and how families cope. And it's the story of Bobby and how his life against incredible odds brought forth strength and unconditional love. The names you'll read are not theirs. As I listened and questioned, I real ized that this was more than a story Bobby's mother, Mary, lovingly turned the pages of a new photo album. Presented By Rose & King Promotions Sponsored By Women's Resource Team University Of North Carolina-Charlotte Winter WomwtMusic I ^ Indoor Festival Of Women's Music Accessible By Wheelchair M Hand-Sign Interpreted Feb. 27-28 Charlotte, N.C, McKnight Hall in Cone Center Jniversity of North Carolina - Charlotte FRI. NIGHT: 8 P.M. FEB. 27 CASSELBERRY- DuPREE Reggae, Pop, lazz LUCIE BLUE TREMBLAY French-Canadlan Balladeer DEBBIE FIER Jazz Pianist/Singer SAT. NIGHT: 8 P.M., FEB. 28 LINDA MOAKES Comedienne BETH YORK New Age Pianist/Composer ALIX DOBKIN Political Feminist Slnger/Cultadst SAT. SHOWCASE: 2 P.M., FEB. 28 JEB Feminist History On Slides SAMIS ROSE Romantic Music GINNY REAL Musical Humorist ROBIN FERGUSON A Cappela Singer AND OTHI ORDER TICKETS NOW LIMITED SEATING lil li if check or mcr$eyc^er payable to D.W. King. I ||l JH l HI |l|\/| Mall To WWM I, P.O.Box 221495, Charlotte, N.C2S222 Vm/ X \ 1 JL X. JL J. V1. with stamped, self-addressed envelope arid order form. Send me all-event tickets @ $35 each $39 feb. i i and after $ Send me Friday night tickets @ $17 each $i9 feb. m and after $ Send me Saturday nig.ht tickets @ $ 17 each si9 feb. 11 and after $ Send me Saturday Showcase tickets @ $6 each $7 feb. 11 and after $ Hold me long-sleeved, wine-colored WWM T-shirts @ $10 each show sizes below .... $ TOTAL $ T-shirt sizes and number of each size: S M I XL □ Check to receive hotel Information. USE ORDER FORM THROUGH FEB. 10. BEGINNING FEB. 11, CALL 704/545.080I TO RESERVE TICKETS. PRODUCED BY HERA PRODUCTIONS / LONG ISLAND / N.Y. Editor's Note In the eight months that I have edited Q-Notes, the series about Bobby that begins with this issue is the finest story we've published. Associate Editor Mark Drum spent hours with this family. 'The part about coming out and Bobby's parents' reaction could be the same for countless of us. The part about AIDS will touch more and more of us. Mark has given us a series you may want to save to share with family and friends. In March, you'll read about Bobby's life in New York as seen through his parents. In April, you'll read about his life wife AIDS and his parents' absolute love and coring for him. DON KING positioning recent holiday snapshots one-by-one. "Aren't they a tine looking group?" she asked. The portraits looked like any other family's. 'The girls, Claire and Dot, and boys, Bobby and Sam — adults wife arms around each other. Nothing un usual, I thought. Perhaps Bobby looks thin, tired. Still, feat could be my imagi nation, because I knew. "I always suspected there was some thing," Mary said. “When Bobby was eight, we took him to a child psychiatrist for recurrent nightmares. He was not a particularly happy child except when he was wife fee other children in fee family. We asked fee psychiatrist, 'Is there something about him we should be watching for? Something we should know?' 1 thought he was very feminine. 'Don't be ridiculous,' he told us. "There is nothing wrong wife this little boy.' Bobby had an interest in skating and we pursued that." Bobby is 30 years old now. Mary and Bill coll him theii “spe cial child.” His sisters and brother, his mother and father rush to his bedside from time to time in yet another hospital. As mothers and fathers do, Mary and Bill remember the times of child hood. There is safety in the post. "I was a show biz father," Bill inter jected. I could feel this man's pride for his son in his tone of voice and fee look of his eyes. It was hard to believe feat he had reacted so violently when Bobby first told them he was gay. "Those are Bobby's medals up there." Mary pointed wife pride to fee bureau. For years they provided Bobby wife fee best skating instructors they could af ford. He was a gifted child in some respects. But fee best oi parents could not have been prepared tor fee rocky road feat fee years brought. "We moved here (when Bobby was about 13 years old) and he hated it," Mary said. "By fee time he was 15, he was an obnoxious teenager. That's when he told us he was gay." Neither she nor Bill had thought much about gay people up until then. But memories of brief encounters returned. Once, a man made advances toward Bill in a subway in New York City. Bill also knew a gay man — “a nice guy," Bill said — who did drag shows in fee mountains of New York State. Mary and Bill once were introduced to another transvestite who was gay. Like so many gay people, he had faced family rejec tion. "My sister is pregnant," fee trans vestite told them. "I hope she has a boy and feat he turns out just like me — gay." Mary hadn't thought of feat in years. Not until Bobby told them he was gay. "I don't remember fee exact conver sation (with Bobby). All I remember is me saying, 'Are you trying to tell us something? Are you trying to tell us you're gay?' And he said, 'Well, I'm bisexual.' And I said to myself, bull. The first thing in my mind was, here is this CONTUnXED ON NEXT PAGE
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