PAGE 12C3-Notes ■ February 1990
Prejudice Affects Gay Folks, Too
We are black and white together.
By Mark Drum
Q-Notes Staff
All the self-help books and psychother
apy in the world cannot teach like experi
ence. I’m forty-one years old and thought I
had learned my lessons. People or events, I
believed, couldn’t shock me. I had been to
the circus and had seen the elephants, I
thought.
I find myself wondering how prejudice
can be so prevalent within the gay commu
nity. In fact, some of the more vocally preju
diced people I have ever met have been gay.
How tragic. How ironic.
The amount of energy, destructive and
poisonous to the person creating and living
with it as well as those they touch is sad to
see. It is wasted on tearing down all that most
of us stand for and fight for.
Gays have been persecuted in most socie
ties since the dawn of man. We are the first
generation to have the tools and power of
communication through satellite networks,
the press and, sadly, the AIDS epidemic, to
reach millions of people. We can show them,
say to them, “Please don’t hate us. We are a
kind and gentle people.’’
Are we?
One person hates drag queens, some gay
men and lesbians still haven’t figured out
that we are on the same team. Others criticize
transsexuals or anyone who leads a slightly
different lifestyle.
The insidious nature of prejudice is that
the louder someone criticizes others, the less
likely they are to recognize the distortion of
their thinking. You cannot rationalize preju
dice and you can’t talk someone out of it.
Not easily.
The root of prejudice is deep. It is a
learned phenomenon. Most of us, as gay
adults, have some deep-seated prejudice
against ourselves. It is why we have so much
trouble coming out and living happy, pro
ductive lives as adults who happen to be gay.
We define ourselves by our gayness, and yet
have been brought up in a society which
teaches us it is OK to hate people we don’t
understand.
We cannot expect others to stop fearing
us until we stop being afraid of ourselves. I
think one way is to better educate ourselves
as to our own prejudices and thereby leam to
deal more effectively with others.
Sometimes it is easy to get wrapped up in
the gay lifestyle. It is even easier to forget
how traumatic it was when we first came out
to someone...and what it feels like to be
rejected just because we told something about
ourselves that has always been there, but
never discussed.
All of us have situations or people with
whom we are not comfortable. Perhaps this is
prejudice in its most insidious form. We may
not even be aware. Perhaps it is nothing more
than personal choice. I am concerned with
the deeper prejudices that I see among the
gay community.
We have a responsibility to be not only
good examples to the rest of our community;
we must be excellent.
I remember singing at a Gay Pride Day
march:
We are straight and gay together.
We are men and women together.
%
MCC Charlotte
bringing
the Good News of
JESUS CHRIST
to our community
%
Come Join Us!
Sunday Worship: 11 am, 7:30pm
Wednesday Bible Study: 7:30 pm
563-5810
We are a kind and gentle people.
And we are singing for our lives.
Together. Not alone. Powerless alone.
We have been alone for all time prior to this.
Since Stonewall. Making small in-roads
toward freedom and dignity. Praying that
each small step forward isn’t followed by
two steps back.
Now we have a chance to make a differ
ence that the world will see and judge us by.
We can seize this opportunity or let it slip by,
quietly and unnoticed.
The number of AIDS cases reported in
Mecklenburg County has doubled again. Over
two hundred members of the Charlotte
community have been stricken by this dis
ease. Have you stopped to think how you
have been reacting to the epidemic?
For all of the kindnesses shown to me
since I have come out about having AIDS, I
remember what I do not see. Perhaps it is not
seeing an old colleague or friend. At times a
hug from an old pal when a kiss is expected;
a shortened visit from another. Subtle, tme.
But clear when you experience the change. It
is that insidious form of prejudice about
which I spoke earlier.
I do not doubt their love. It has been
doubly returned from people I didn’t know
six months ago. But I miss it. Change is hard.
This is not something I feel powerless
against. I keep educating. I keep talking. I
keep writing. I keep saying to each of you:
You can make a difference. If you change
one person’s perspective in a single prejudi
cial area, you have made a significant contri
bution.
We're 10 Years Old!!!
and Celebrating It!!!
Metropolitan
Community Church of
Charlotte
welcomes
Rev. Elder Troy D. Perry
February 10, 1990, 7:30 pm
Radisson Hotel - Charlotte
\ Tickets $25
No tickets sold after Feb. 4
For information or reservations,
call Rev. Lynn Guerra at
563-5810
OOPS! We Goofed!
This voluptuous beauty is not Sabel Chanel,
but Club Cabaret's Sabel Chancellor.
Get some information. Call Metrolina
AIDS Project and volunteer. Give some
money. Do something.
I am one voice in the wilderness. We are
millions strong. I believe with all my heart
that we, as a gay and lesbian community,
have the political clout to move mountains. If
only we unite.
If you are frightened by the epidemic. If
you are not knowledgeable about AIDS. How
will you feel when 500 or a thousand of your
peers are sick? When it’s 4,000. When it’s
you?
THEY WANT YOUR BUSINESS
TKI-COUNTl:'
ndiUon
JEFF CHILDS
REALTOR
TRI-COUNTY REALTORS®
7417 Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Charlotte, North Carolina 28227
Office 704/545-2629
Home 704/568-1989
For Depression, Anxiety, "Coming Out,”
Relationship Problems, ^xual Dysfunction,
AIDS Support, Weight Control
RISE COUNSELING
FOR APPOINTMENT
Call Noel Stypmann, ACSW, 704/365-1982
Positive Reinforcement System, Hypnotherapy, G^talt,
Sex Therapy, Rebirthing, Massage, Body Work
Suite 107 Miller St.
Pineville, NO 28134
(704) 889-7577
Leonard Dillingham
Mitch Rutan
Charlotte Area
Literacy League
NANCY M. CAMPBELL
Executive Director
700 Parkwood Ave., Charlotte, N.C. 28205 / (704) 375-3433
RECESS
Clothing & Equipment Co.
SPORTSHIRTS ACCESSORIES
JACKETS CAPS
ATHLETIC WEAR
1901 Assembly • Front Balcony-Suite 104
Plaza Inn, Columbia, S.C. 29201
803-252-3100, Ext. 104
Showroom Open • Mon.-Sat. • 1 pm - 8 pm
WEBB DELIVERY SERVICES
"YOU CALL - WE HAUL"
"Hauling, Moving, Delivery Services"
(704) 563-9082
liairkutters
EASTLAND MALL
KEITH L. STRICKLER
Cinema Entrance
HOURS Eastland Mall
Mon.-Fri. 10am-8pm FOR APPOINTMENT 5403 Central
Sal. 9 am - 6 pm 537-0343 Charlotte, NC
MASSAGE
Deep Tissue • Swedish Massages
Noel Stypmann
For Appointment
704/365-1982