The winter blues and post-holiday
depression make for dark days
by Doug Detwiler
Special to Q-Notes
Doug Detwiler
or me, it be
gins when the first
signs of those clearly
departed Christmas
trees start showing up
at the end of drive
ways .somewhere
around the begin
ning of the new year.
Have you too been
noticing all the
Christmas tree car
casses? Seeing the dis
carded trees lying sideways, bare, purpose-
served, and waiting for disposal, is a sad image.
Or for you, maybe it’s the anti-climatic chore
of reboxing all those holiday decorations until
next year. Stranger still, the mere sight of those
lone houses beaming their Christmas lights
sometime into February nearly sends me over
the edge. Perhaps it is procrastination combined
with a futile attempt at holding onto the magic
of a season past. Whatever the many signs of
the end of the holidays, I have found navigat
ing emotionally from January through March
somewhat mood challenging.
Inevitable winter. Growing up in Ohio, 1
detested this season so much that I began plan
ning my escape of winter’s blight. Soon after
college, I migrated to sun drenched Southern
California (LA) to continue my coming-out
process, maintain a yearly tan (how shallow)
and flee the dark moods of winter I often expe
rienced in my youth. Moving to California
helped considerably. With the help of support
ive, gay friends and more opportunities for be
ing outdoors in sunlight and exercise, winter
became a non-issue for me. So I wonder, were
those winter blues I experienced?
We hear this expression so often this time
of year - the winter blues. Chances are, if you
ask several people to define “winter blues,” you
are likely to hear that many different interpre
tations. Research more commonly associates
winter blues with a condition called Seasonal
Affective Disotder (SAD).
SAD is a real form of depression with symp
toms appearing in the fall or winter and persist
ing until spring. Some people are unable to ad
just to the shottage of daylight as the days grow
shorter. Our body’s internal clock is set to be
activated during daylight and to sleep at night.
In response to these changes in daylight, people
may develop depressive symptoms. This includes:
feeling blue, lethargic, low energy, hopelessness,
anxiety and social withdrawl. SAD sufferers also
find themselves needing additional sleep, expe
riencing daytime drowsiness, and are susceptible
to weight gain due to the heightened cravings
for carbohydrates and sweets.
If you think you might be experiencing
SAD, consult with a health professional for an
assessment. Depending on the severity of symp
toms, treatment usually consists of a combina
tion of exposing oneself to daily light therapy
and medication such as an anti-depressant to
help with sleep and to elevate mood. Exercise
and stress management also help lessen the
symptoms of SAD. The practice of regular aero
bic exercise even more effective when done
outside, may be useful since exercise reduces the
accumulation of stress and targets depression.
Often following on the heels of the winter
blues is the fallout from the holidays, aka, post
holiday depression. As a psychotherapist, I do
notice changes in my clients this time of year.
The added pressures of the holidays result in
increased stress-levels and problems with time
management.
Unfortunately, the stress seems to be greater
for my lesbian and gay clients as they encoun
ter varying hurdles of homophobia in their
families, cultures, and daily lives. Remember,
the holidays are a time for the family to recon
nect and celebrate heavily time-honored tradi
tions. Because our primary relationships as les
bian and gay people are viewed as non-tradi-
tional, this can be challenging for our tradi
tional families. Much progress has been made,
times have changed, but many of our families
lag behind.
Those of us in relationships may experience
a lack of validation and support when we go
home because our relationships are viewed as
less valid due to not being legally married. Or
the other subtle signs of homophobia become
evident when our partner is omitted during
introductions or referred to as a “friend” to oth
ers outside the family. Moments like these can
be de-valuing and place added strain on our
relationships.
Some of us may be estranged from our fami
lies because of our orientation and not be wel
comed home for the holidays. This pain will
most likely intensify this time of year as one is
prone to feel less-than, invisible and excluded.
If single and longing for companionship,
maybe the holidays made you even more aware
of your loneliness and the wish to be partnered.
Often, our supportive network of friends tend
to scatter during this season of travel to reunite
with their own families, which makes them
mostly unavailable.
Now that the holidays are over, we need to
put them peacefully behind us. Left unproc
essed, we might find ourselves corroding in
some way, like the cars we see covered in salt
after an ice storm. The residue cannot be
heHthy. Reflect upon unpleasant situations,
encounters and disappointments. Share your
feelings with a trusted ftiend. Having someone
listen and validate your feelings will help you
begin the healing process from these wounds.
Another therapeutic tool is expressive writ
ing. Think about drafting a letter to the
person(s) to whom your issues are still left un
resolved. Keep in mind that your letter need
not be sent, nor be a perfect masterpiece. This
will help keep you from holding back further
freeing up your emotional baggage. Research
shows being able to put experiences into words
is good for your physical health.
Finally, not a lot happens these next few
months and maybe this is a benefit for all of
us. The cold weather brings us inside. It is a
time when we can reconnect with ourselves af
ter being with others. Do things which pro
mote peace, rest, and rejuvenation. Enjoy the
activities we often find ourselves neglecting the
other parts of the year. Slow down. Soak in the
tub instead of rushing through a shower. Have
afternoon tea, hot chocolate or both! Put your
lounge-around clothes on and cozy up to a ter
rific book. Take up a new or old hobby. Make
some delicious soups to sip in front of your fire.
Winter presents the perfect -time to rent
movies you missed at the box office before hav
ing your date with Oscar come March. There
are so many possibilities.
So, have wonderful “snow days” spending
time with yourself and those close to you. You
just might change your mind about winter. I
have. T
[Doug Detwiler, MA, is a psychologist in pri
vate practice. He is affiliated with Cameron
Valley Psycotherapy and Counseling Associates
in Charlotte. A transplant from San Francisco,
Doug prings his ten years of experience helping
individuals explore, learn, confront, change,
heal, grow and transform themselves and their
relationships with each other.}
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Q-Notes ▼ January20, 2001 ▼ PAGES
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