Tell Trinity
by Herself
Special to Q-Notes
Quote du Jour; “Think not
that you can direct the course
of love, for love, if it finds you
worthy, directs your course.”
— Kahlil Gibran
Hello Trinity,
I recently met the man of my dreams. Of course,
he lives in New Orleans and I’m about to move to
New York City. But I really, deep down, think
that he’s “The Onel” So now what do I do?
— Dreamer in Two Cities
Hello Dreamer in Two Cities,
If love finds you follow it! Chase it! Run with
it until you’re scared and bruised and glowing
with adventure. Love’s definitely not practical,
so don’t you be either, at least right away. Must
you move to New York City? Can’t you spend a
few trial weeks in New Orleans? Maybe, take a
place near him and date for a while? Listen
honey, see if he feels the same way as you do.
And if you know or at least can spend time
finding out if he is “The One,” then take a risk.
Either, be stuck LOOKING for the man of
your dreams in New York City or be stuck
WITH the man of your dreams on a street car
named Desire.
— Trinity
Hey Trinity,
I don’t know if it’s a gay thing, but inevitably
every guy I go out with... leaves. I can’t help won
dering when this new guy Tm dating is going to
get bored and leave. These fears also make me hold
back from telling him about the mysteries that
make up who I am! When is it safe to let him
know all the intimate details of my life?
— Waiting to Disclose
Hey Waiting to Disclose,
This may sound antigay, but when you’re first
dating someone, don’t get so comfortable just
yet. Don’t try and sell him on every little detail
that’s right and wrong about you. When car deal
ers sell cars, they clean it, tune it and make it
“Purr like a kitten.” They never let you see the
problems. Once it’s sold, the buyer then finds
out the little, intimate problems with the car.
But by then the buyer’s already “hooked” and
learns to love it. Eventually, your car will be sold.
In time, you’ll also feel more comfortable around
him. Then, and only then, when he’s really
hooked on you and you feel totally comfortable,
then that’s the time to drop the bomb... I mean
disclose your intimate details. And soon enough ■
you’ll be able to say, “I really never was a drag
queen, advice columnist, international jazz su
perstar! I just said that to impress you.”
Love.
— Trinity
Hello Trinity,
While in a ten year relationship that went sour,
my ex convinced me to have sex with him and
another man. I hated it! It’s just wasn’t me! Now
I’m dating this new guy who asked me to do the
same thing! Is this the
norm! Should I change
my ways!
— Threeway
Problems
Hello Threeway
Problems,
Nobody should do
what they hate to do.
Yet, nobody should fall off a horse and never get
back on either. These things come up... I mean...
three things come up... I mean. Listen, if you
don’t like the idea of a threesome then don’t do
it. But not because of some old experience or
reaction with an ex. Don’t be stuck or controlled
in old patterns that relate to old experiences.
Otherwise this issue will keep coming back to
haunt you until you release its relationship to
your ex. Now, should you change your ways? Of
course! Change, alter, experience, GROW! How
ever, I must agree with you that two men snor
ing is a hell of a lot louder than one.
Three hugs.
— Trinity
Dear Trinity,
I keep falling in love or at least I think it’s love.
How do you know if you’re in love or in lust!
— Love & Lust Troubles
Dear Love & Lust Troubles,
There’s a million answers to this question,
but you should at least have ten. These ten tips
have always worked for me. So here are:
Trinity’s Top Ten Ups
for Knowing When You re
In Love or In Lust:
10. When you think of him as your hot
new porn star boyfriend and nothing else.
Lust!
9. When being around her is like float
ing through the Garden of Eden with
French subtitles. Love!
8. Even though he’s a selfish, unkind,
schmuck, he’s still really good in bed. Lust!
7. When hugging her gives you but
terflies and kissing her makes you see fire
works. Love!
6. When you want to introduce her
to all your cool friends, but not any close
relatives. Lust!
5. When you change all your plans and :
move to New Orleans just to see if he’s ■
“The One.” Love!
4. Whenshesaid“Notinterestedrfor '
the fifth time and you still heard “Hot in- ;
tercourse.” Lust!
3. When you dream of wedding bells
and oigan music surrounded by an orgy
of naked fitness models. Love and lust!
2. When you keep all of her used un
dergarments, but toss out the poetry and
love letters. Lust!
1. When you work past all the prob
lems and are still fantasizing about grow- :
ing old together. Love!
[Don’t let your questions go unanswered! Send
an e-mail to Trinity at trinity@telltrinity.com or
write Tell Trinity, PO Box 1362, Provincetown,
MA 02657-5362. Just do it! If you are craving
more of Trinity’s sage advice, visit
www.telltrinity.com, sponsored by: America’s Gay
& Lesbian Alliance (AGLA).]
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Q-Notes ’T’ April 28, 2001 ▼ PAGE 23
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