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PAGES ▼ Q-Notes ▼ May 26, 2001 Group therapy: Issues to consider Doug Detwiller INT6RNATIONRL BOOKS • MAGAZINES • NEWSPAPERS 5622-128 E. Independence 531-0199 by Ooug Detwiller Special to Q-Notes considering some of the therapeutic benefits of group therapy, lets look at why this type of therapy still tends to raise a lot of eyebrows. I believe we need to unpack our bags before going on the trip. Clear ing up some of these misconcep tions involves ex amining some, of our cultural be liefs. Much of this thinking stems from Americans generally being suspicious of groups in general mixed in with the media stok ing their wariness. Movies and television project skewed images of groups and therapy. Prince compromised client/therapist boundaries for dramatic effect only to hurl individual and family therapy back to the Dark Ages. Even in Bob Newharts benign 1970s’sitcom, my memory is still steeped in his travails as a psychologist. In his group, no one gets better and Bob regularly involves himself in the personal lives of his group members. Combined with the normal anxiety of most people when they join any group, it is un derstandable why we remain cautious. Groups generally fall into two broad catego ries: task-oriented, diagnosis-specific groups and open-ended, diagnosis-nonspecific groups. Ex amples of the first category might include: agora phobia, social phobia, eating disorders, alcohol ism and drug abuse. Take Alcoholics Anonymous, it is still the most effective way to combat alco holism and it is always conducted in a group for mat. The primary focus is abstinence from alco hol. Having the group’s support and drawing upon the strength of recovery “in the room” increases self-esteem and helps restore one’s sanity. Rent the film Clean and Sober starring Michael Keaton for a fascinating and moving portrayal of one man’s struggle with alcohol and how his participation If tius is what your closet looks like... ...It's no wonder you've come out of it! Closets • Pantries • Laundry Rooms • Garages * Home Offices • Entertainment Centers Custom-Designed & Built In Our Local Factory One-Day Installation, Spotless Cleanup Lifetime Warranty f Call Today for Free In-Home Estimate - Serving Charlotte & The Carolinas- (704) 525-6515 (TOLL FREE) 1-888-THE-CLOSET WWW.closetandstorageconcepts.com Visit Our Beautiful Charlotte Showroom: 635Pressley Rd. Suite N ©2001 Closet & Storage Concepts. National network of independently owned and operated franchises. in AA transforms his life. The second category — open-ended, diagno sis-nonspecific groups — are generally less struc tured, less rigid and more devoted to exploring an array of issues. Usually, social and demographic features link the members more than a type of mental illness. Some'examples might include can cer survivor support groups, chronic care for ag ing parents, and PFLAG (Parents, Friends of Les bians And Gays) to name a few. Why is group therapy beneficial for the GLBT community? Many reasons come to mind. Think about who you were before coming out. Many of us adopted different personas to blend in at home, school and work hoping to go unnoticed. Over time, by wearing this unauthentic veil and mask ing our true selves we miss out on key elements of interpersonal relating. Some of us were excluded or isolated ourselves from our peers. Oddly enough, when we do come out it is often in a sexually super- charged environment such as a gay or lesbian bar. This seems like a monumental leap developmentally. This environment is very different than the one experienced by our straight peers in develop ing and honing relational skills. From their first crush on their neighborhood playmates, through accepted dating in high school, developing these skills are practiced often while growing up straight. Gays and lesbians are often delayed in developing these relational skills, waiting until they bave grown up and experienced their first sexual en counter. Add a little alcohol (or substitute your drug of choice) and it becomes apparent how dif ficult having healthy relationships with ourselves and others can become. This deficit is a little like being thrown to the wolves. Here is one example how group therapy might be applicable. Let’s suppose you’re a gay male who desires to be in a relationship, but you continu ally run into problems dating after the newness wears off. Forging on requires you to go deeper emotionally with yourself and your partner. This area of relating can be daunting and terrifying. Without the relating skills or being familiar with these uncomfortable feelings, the relationship stalls or ends abruptly. So you decide to seek help and join a time- lim ited, weekly therapy group addressing these issues. Imagine being part of a group tailored to your spe cific goals and needs. This particular gay men’s growth group is targeting interpersonal learning, relationships skills and creating intimacy. Sur rounded by other like-minded group members and two experienced co-leaders, you embark on a jour ney of self-discovery. The group process is part experiential, in that the co-leaders teach and model couples skills. Par ticipants then practice those skills in pairs with as sistance if necessary. Participants share their learn ing in the large group, which enhances and nor malizes understanding of their partner and them selves in relationship. Throughout the 12 weeks of group, participants practice skills to: communicate clearly and effectively, reduce conflict and resolve power struggles, access and share deep feelings, ex press needs and negotiate change, and deepen their understanding of and commitment to each other. Now, imagine having these skills to navigate through your current or future relationship. One of my most rewarding experiences as a therapist involved leading a group in San Francisco called Shy Guys. Participants included eight gay men ranging in age from twenty-something to fifty- something. The familiar phrase “painfully shy” fits their way of being in the world: a form of mental handicap as debilitating as a physical handicap with devastating consequences. Upon the group’s completion, the experiences shared between par ticipants led to profound change. It was something tangible shared between each of them to recognize and celebrate. Through their own good work they were less inhibited and able to expand their world beyond the comforts of group. Why do I enjoy group therapy so much? One of my very favorite things to do in my personal life mirrors the group therapy environment. It involves casually sitting around with friends and having free flowing conversation. The situation is relaxed. Topics come and go and even return. Sto ries are told; experiences are shared. The feelings are similar to being in a human gold mine. Know ing in the moment the special appreciation we hold for one another as it collides with the recog nition of how normal and unique we are. This brings long lasting balance and contentment. It also leaves the Bob Newhart out of my office and out of my groups. T [Doug Detwiller, MA, is a psychotherapist in private practice. He is affiliated with Cameron Val ley Psychotherapy and Counseling Associates in Char lotte, NC. Formerly from San Francisco, he brings over 10 years of experience helping individuals ex plore, learn, confront, change, heal, grow and trans form themselves and their relationships with others.]
Q-notes (Charlotte, N.C.)
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May 26, 2001, edition 1
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