C O MM UNITY
Mother, trans son embark on Soulforce journey
Family to visit Joel Osteen's
Lakewood Church
by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff
BUNN, N.C. — Mary Helen Phelps, 43,
calls herself a “reformed redneck.” Her journey
toward accepting her female-to-male trans-
Mary Helen Phelps and her trans son
Angel Collie will travel to Joel Osteen’s
Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas, on
Mother’s Day.
gender son has taken her from valleys of
worry and despair to mountain tops of joy
and reconciliation.
Phelps and her son will soon join Soulforce’s
American Family Outing, a national event
wherein families with LGBT parents or children
will visit six American mega-churches with
anti-gay positions or doctrines. Joel Osteen’s
more than 40,000 member Lakewood Church in
Houston, Texas, will be one of Soulforce’s stops.
Phelps and Collie plan on attending worship
there on Mother’s Day, May 11.
Phelps, who grew up in this traditionally
conservative Baptist town just outside
Raleigh, said she didn’t hesitate when invited
to participate in the American Family Outing
by her son.
“I didn’t have to think about it,” she told Q-
Notes.%s soon as I was invited I was ready to
go. 1 feel like I’ve been there and I know where
these parents are at.”
She said she wants to let parents of gay and
transgender children know that they can accept
their sons and daughters for who they are.
“I remember sleeping outside Angel’s door ,
at night, afraid to death Angel would commit
suicide,” she said. “I want to tell these parents,
‘You’re trying to change something your chil
dren were born with and what you’re doing is
putting bullets in a gun.’”
Phelps said her own journey to accept
ance was filled with obstacles. To this day, she
still faces challenges, especially when it
comes to using the correct pronouns for her
transgender son.
“Angel wanted boys clothes everytime I
put clothes on him,” she said. “I was not sup
portive [after Angel first came out] because of
my Baptist religion. I told Angel he was going
to Hell and we even tried counseling.”
The family finally came to a turning point
when all the landmark institutions if their
lives began turning against Angel.
“Angel’s school turned against him. Angel’s
church turned against him — even telling
him he couldn’t pray on the altar,” Phelps relat
ed. “Any mother in the world is going to stand
up for their child. All the negativity around
Angel is what really turned me around.”
Phelps said she eventually came to the point
where she’d “rather have a happy boy than an
unhappy girl.” With the help of Parents,
Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
(PFLAG) and the Metropolitan Community,
Church, she learned new ways of coping with
her own struggle toward reconciliation.
Collie, who spent years with his own strug
gle reconciling faith, sexuality and gender, first
learned of Soulforce while attending an MCC
General Conference in Calgary, Canada.
“Someone tapped me on the shoulder and
said they wanted me to know about the
'Equality Ride,” he said. “That person ended up
being [Soulforce founder] Mel White.”
The Equality Ride, first held in 2006 and
again in 2007, took LGBT students to
Christian colleges and universities that hold
anti-LGBT policies.
Collie applied for the Equality Ride in 2006
and 2007. He was accepted to both, joining this
writer as two queer. Baptist, North Carolina
youth on a bus headed to some of the most
conservative Christian colleges in the country.
Soulforce Executive Director Jeff Lutes told
Q-Notes the organization has attempted to
contact all of the churches they’ll be visiting.
Lakewood Church was originally contacted
with the five others in 2007.
“We’re holding out hope to the last
minute that Lakewood will offer us hospital
ity,” Lutes said, “but if they don’t we’ll figure
out a way to offer Lakewood hospitality
instead and offer space for us to meet with
Lakewood families.”
In April, Jay Bakker, the LGBT-affirming
son of evangelists Jim and Tammy Faye
Bakker, released an open letter to Osteen.
In interviews, Osteen has said LGBT peo
ple are not living as “God’s best.” Also, openly
gay Lakewood members are not allowed to
serve in church leadership positions.
The American Family Outing is jointly
sponsored by Soulforce, Children of Lesbians
and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE), the National
Black Justice Coalition and MCC.
Unlike other Soulforce actions, civil dis
obedience and the risk of arrest have not been
discussed at length. Collie told Q-Notes he
seeks only to be able to worship with his
Christian siblings when he and his mother
visit on May 11. His mother is also looking
forward to the visit.
- “I think he is a wonderful man,” Phelps
said of Osteen. “I really want to go to his
church and hear him speak, but how can I go
to a church and feel comfortable if my child
isn’t accepted?” I
info: www.soulforce.org
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MAY 3 .2008 • Q-NOTES 15