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Tell Trinity
by Trinity . Contributing Writer
Are rules of celibacY turning
clergy inta criminals?
Dear Trinity,
With everything that’s going on in the
Catholic Church surrounding celibacy, is celibacy
really practical in today’s oversexed society?
Celibate Thoughts, Montreal, Canada
Dear Celibate Thoughts,
Good question. Lets take ourselves to
Boston, Mass., 2002 where we pick up the
Boston Globe to find headlines uncovering an
explosion of pe’dophilia charges against the
Catholic Church’s supposedly celibate clergy.
Immediately, millions and I wonder, “Is being
sexless in a sexually-driven society really
practical or even possible? Is celibacy too
much to ask from even the holiest of men?
And, is abstinence really that much‘more’
spiritual or divine than being in a sexually-
loving relationship?” Well, maybe celibacy was
practical before MTV, Victoria’s Secret com
mercials, gay liberation and before Hollywood
turned everything into a love story. But, hon
estly, sweetie, nowadays religious celibacy
really isn’t that practical or possible.
Dearest Trinity,
I’ve taken your advice and started dating, a
lot. But, still it seems like there’s no one out there
for me. Am I destined to be single forever?
Dating Doubts, Berkeley, Calif
Dearest Dating Doubts,
When one is on the path of dating there
are many people who trick with you, I
mean, trick you and your self-esteem into
giving up i.e., dating jerks, meeting uninter
ested people, getting frustrated or finding
out that all the good ones are taken. But, you
must keep trying. You must get past the
tricks of disappointment. And you must
keep your self-esteem high. Honey, quitting
is for losers hot for intelligent, assertive,
adventurous beings. (Check out my cartoon
to see how I handle this.)
Hello Trinity,
I’m dating a great guy except that he’s a
major workaholic. And, he’s always traveling for
work. Am I chasing a workhorse?
Date Chaser, Orlando, Fla.
Hello Date Chaser,
When the economy’s crashing, the stock
market is up and down like a backroom party
NC's Only LGBT Friendly Business Directory
at a popular leather bar and
finding a new job is like find
ing the perfect mate, some
choose to hide in their work.
Whether it’s right or wrong,
your date is choosing to do it.
This means, pumpkin, you
need to talk to him to see if you can
change his attitudes and broaden his philoso
phies on time, romance and life. If you can,
great. If you can’t, then you may have to start
chasing a different horse.
Hey Trinity,
Afterfive years I never thought I’d be asking
but how do I get my partner excited to sleep with
me again. As time went on our sex life went off.
Help!
Not Getting Much, Cheyenne, Wyo.
Hey Not Getting Much,
Today, most couples are overworked and
over-stimulated which means that there’s a
growing problem of things actually not grow
ing, so, baby, to rectify the situation try:
Trlni^’s Hot Tips For Putting The
Sex Back Into Your Relationship
1. Attractiveness and desirability will get you
more attention and make him or her crave
you more. It’s that simple.
2. Early to bed means you’ll have more time
in bed.
3. Afternoons on Saturday and Sunday is
when you both should be just getting up.
4. Leave for a few days and then return.
Absence makes everything grow firmer, 1
mean fonder.
5. Sexify the house and the bedroom with
candles, music and maybe a fire when he
or she comes home.
6. Bedrooms are for love-making and sleep
ing, not therapy sessions.
7. Get away together to someplace more
romantic than your boring old house.
8. Spice up the romance by inventing new
games, bringing home new toys and show
ing off your new naughty undergarments.
9. Cellphones have their place and they also
have off buttons. Don’t let it control your
fun.
10. Lastly, trick him or her into getting in the
mood with two of life’s most natural
aphrodisiacs: wine followed by a massage.
It always works for me. I
— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity
was host of “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly
radio drama, and now performs globalfy.
info: www.telltrinity.com .Trinity@telltrinity.com
Tell Trinity. P.O. Box 23861 . Ft Lauderdale, FL 33307
Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild
800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org
20 APRIL 18.2009 • QNotes