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o G-irl and boy drinking aloi?g— Shf5; Can you drink with one hand? Ke: Yes She: Then wipe your nose. Colonel(afterreviewing troops) "Hand it all. What's the idea of parading all the big men in front o f the,little men," Lt; " It's the sergeant's fault He used to run a fruit store." Nev;s Jteni; A convention of furniture men has concluded that men returning from the war, having grown accustomed to sleeping alone, will want twin.beds. Naive little ,char acters' these furniture mon. Judge; " sorry, but I can't issue a licenao to your grand child; She's only 15 and too young." old Granny; . ".Lriwdy, mister jedge, w'at we gTflrina do; she's olV ' nuf to'do, v/hat she's done did," Papa, " queried the son, . "v;hnt is the person callcd'.who brings you in contact .v/ith the spirit world?" "A bartender, my son," replied tht3 father. Bill to John — I don»t. see you at the movies . anymore— Why? John to Bill— Well, yoy see it rained one night and v/e stayed homo. OFF HIS COURSE - He; "Darling,. I'm groping for words." .She ; "Well you can't find, them there." RA.D DREAM - First Old .Haid; '* What In the world were you dreaming about, Matilda? You made such a fuss last night I couldn't sleep," Second old Maid; " oh, I had annwful- nightmare .' Clark Gable was chavrdng me and chasing me, and he couldn't catch me.’’ ^rrcav. i nTrr- THE VILLIAN Lucy been LL .PURSJJED "YOU .;hcrn; out with that rooster f.-r/ci this v;eek oucccosive reaches’Pullot; " Yeah- ■2av8 running." 'A • CF APT STUDENTS jrou'-4'"raan calling oh olcTer sio, Ver; " You're,an apt boy. Xs your sister' apt,-too?’>t Eoy; " w’lvll, if she gets a chance she ' B apt' to ]" ^ I tcck?'Mnry for a sleighlride, the sleigh turned upside clcwn in th’c snowdrift, she sat sing ing; " Hassa'B in the cold, cold ground Did you hear the cne about^ the. couple, blessed with their fi rst child, who didn't .get to the hospital "quickly enough and the baby xifas born on the. hospi tal lawn. The itomized. bill v?as finally received 'and the Careful husband objected stren uously to the itom; " Delivery Rocm, '^25.00.” He returned the bill for revision. In due time it was returned revised to ^5.0 0. . rtt-p ^?e'ad; x^rith the item " Green Fees, The minister had just finish ed- an excellent chicken dinner As be , Icoiced out 'of the- v;lndow a'rooster strutted across the yard. " My.''* f:ald the minister " Tliat is certainly a proud " "Yes, sir," said the " He has a reason to be One of his sons ■ Just the ministry. rooster, host., prcud. entered Mo tide for Wom>":n'a swimming cl ub — About 20 girls turned out. some very good material ' was uncovered. A cow on a curve is not half so dangerovis ao a curve on a Cfrlf, ■,:V. Little Johnnie taking a teacher a present in a paper bag, said; Guess what- Teacher- Is it apples? No. Is it, pecans; Ho. Teacher seeing a liquid oozihg from corner of bag and sticking, finger there and tas:ting- asked, Is it peaches Johnnie replied, No, a puppy. •'f
The Home Front News
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Aug. 20, 1944, edition 1
8
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