Patjc 2
Have you ever Ju»t sat down
and wondered exactly what life
would be like If von were a
marshmallow ? ] know right now
you all are wondering If the
mental unsoundness of Tom K.
Stephensonfread last issuej was
not an isolated case and maybe
some other members of the
Collegiate staff might be In Just
as bad. . .or even worse a
condition? But before you make
any Judgements as to that,
please Just bear with me.
Well, Just think about it for a
moment. It would be quite a
crowded sltumtion. It would even
a little stuffy at tiroes and If you
got to the bottom of the bag, you
might even suffocate. If you did
get Into that situation, would
anyone help you? Probably not.
Sounds rough, doesn’t It?
Another thing Is that there
wouldn't be too awfully much
individuality either. I mean, all
marshmallows look alike, right?
There also would be a con
stant and relentless struggle to
get to the top. . . and to stay
there. During all this hustle and
bustle, some unfortunate
marshmallows get pushed
to the side. Some even get
pushed into the crowd where
thev can’t get breathing room.
Snrvival of the fittest Is what 1
thing they call It. It’s really jost
a terrible sItnMtloo, Isn’t it?
And thlaJi about this, once
you get to the top, how long can
you stay there? What do yon do
when you get there? Where do
you go from there? I mean how
many ways can a marshmallow
distinguish hlmsell from the
rest of the bag? There’s not too
many ways that he can. And
when It’s all over does it really
matter? I bet right now you’re
glad you’re not a marshmallow!
You’ve probably never really
noticed before but there Is a lot
of activity going on In a bag of
marshmallows . It’s a total so
ciety complete with It’s own
“rat race.” Next time you have
the chance, Just get a bag of
marshmallows and look at it.
Concentrate real hard and see If
you can see exactly what’s going
on In there. And before yon
laugh at me and call me Insane
tor writing this, Just ask yotirself
this question: “Don’t we live in
a similar situation ourselves?”
^0£ <StaKin^i
ail on ^lor
No doubt by now, you all are
probably sick and tired of people
coming up to you and saying
"Welcome back", or “Welcome
to AC."So am 1.
But when one is positioned
behind a typewriter, writing
one's first article of the new
year, one finds it very hard to
get started without the help of
those good tired phrases. So...
WELCOME BACK AND TO
A,C.C!
As 1 hope you may have
guessed by now, 1 am the
resident funny man that has
been assigned to be funny one
time a week in an otherwise
serious paper. Or was that
serious man assigned to be
serious one time a week in an
otherwise funny paper. Well,
whatever the case may be,
Iwrite "Sail on“ for the Col
legiate.
What's "Sail on?" Glad you
asked. “Sail on" is a column in
which 1 express my thoughts,
opinions, and such. Mind you 1
didn't say this papers' thoughts,
or this school's opinions, 1 said
“my" thoughts and opinions.
So don't go holding Joe or Dr.
D. responsible for what 1 write.
Heaven knows they have
enough to be held responsible
for!
In "Sail on", 1 hope to touch
some emotion of yours. Maybe
you'll get mad, or laugh, maybe
you'll cry, or get urinated.
Whatever the case, 1 do hope
you will join me from week to
week as 1 take you on an
unadulterated tour of the life
here at A.C.
Seeing how 1 feel in a very
generious mood this week, I
think I'll share a bit of my
infinite wisdom with all of you
transfers and freshmen (Mind
you 1 said "a bit", because if 1
share any more than that, I will
have none left.(. Following, you
will find a few of the many
businesses around Wilson, and
the reason 1 included them in
my “List of Who's Who for
A.C.“
Mltzi’s Hair Studio- Mitzi's is
just a few blocks from school
and she can cut guys and gals
hair any way they want it cut.
And she doesn't charge an arm
and a leg either. Tell her you’re
from the college, and she'll
work you up a great deal. Call
237-4060 for an appointment.
If you want to set up a
checking account, BB&T offers
free checking to students.
And suppose you're hungry,
and you just can't handle any
more of that non-home style
cooking or that non-home style
noise of the A.C. Cafe, where do
you go? Well, there are several
places around town that are real
good and quite cheap. There’s
Kuntry Kitchen for home style
cookin’, there's Bill’s Bar-b-
q andParker’s Bar-b-que, both
excellant places to eat, but Bill’s
is just a tad cheaper. If it’s
steak and atmosphere you want,
without the cost, there’s Beef-
master ton. And for fried chic
ken. there’s a place called
Hobo’s. Of course, for you
gourmets out there, Wilson
does have two McDonald’s and
one Hardee's close to the
school.
But suppose it’s late at night
and everythings closed when
you get hungry, where then?
Well, Langley’s Convenience
Mart is just a block from the
school with pretty reasonable
prices.
For entertainment, there’s
not alot. There’s a RoU-A-
Wheel if your thing’s doing it on
wheels (or on the floor(. And
there are two movie houses in
town that run a student discount
on Wed. nights one at Gold-
S«c Page 3
. 'Jh£, CoLUgtacz
IIOYALTI
IN
OUR MIDST
CixcL-!X
As Lt. Governor, Bill will be
working with the Circle K Clubs
at Chowan College, Coastal
Carolina Community College,
Elizabeth City State, East Caro
lina and Beaufort County Tech
nical College as well as Atlantic
Christian. He will also serve on
the Carolinas District Board, the
executive body for Circle K in
North and South Carolina. He
will also be responsible for
starting any new clubs in East
ern North Carolina.
Bill plans to attend the Circle
K International Covention in
Phoenix, AZ, this summer.
Circle K is the worid’s largest
coed service organization with
about 12,000 members in 700
college, universities and tech
nical schools in the United
States, Canada, and the Carrib-
bean. It is sponsored by Kiwanis
International and opened to all
students. According to Bill, new
members, visitors, and the cur
ious are always welcome. For
more information contact AC’s
Lt. Governor.
Atlantic Christian College is
now the home of a Lt. Governor.
That’s right, at the recent
convention of the Carolinas
District of Circle K Internation
al, AC student Bill Cowper was
elected to the office of Lt.
Governor of the Eastern Divis
ion.
Bill is a senior at AC majoring
in Social Studies. He became
interested in Circle K while he
was in junior college. When he
came to AC last fall he found
that AC’s Circle K had dis
solved. On his own Bill contact
ed the Wilson Evening Kiwanis
Club which had formerly spon
sored the ACC Circle K Club
and found they were still inter
ested. “Last year we got off to a
very late start but at least we got
soemthing started,” says Bill.
"It was second semester be
fore we were organized but the
fall we will get rolling. We are
presently working on several
ideas for service projects for
next semmester, but what we
really need is more members.”
ENERGY.
We can't
afford to
waste it.
On Saturday night, August 30
at 8 p.m. in Hardy Alumni Hall,
Mr. Fingers (alias Irv Weiner)
performed many magic stunts
for the audience. There were
stunts of all kinds; everything
from making napkins disappear
to mind reading. His ability to
perform these “magic” acts
kept the audience amazed and
baffled throughout the show.
Mr. Weiner has been doing
his magic for 45 years. He first
started as a young boy of 7
years. Mr. Weiner was born of
deaf mute parents in Needham,
Mass. He went to see magic
shows with his father during his
young age. As Mr. Weiner got
older, he did his magic shows on
the streets where he lived.
When he got older, the young
kids started calling him “Mr.
Fingers .
Mr. Fingers taught at Qa,.
College in Los Angeles
was the finest college ins^jj
in the world for magicjl jt.
formance. This collegt i
longer exists. Hewasnane;.
Newswreek as one of ttieunn
novelty artists in the comin
Mr. Weiner played the jub-
“Merlin the Magician d Cu
elot” at the Univetsit)’ ot S#
raska some time ago.Ht „
nominated and tecievei t
“Lecture of the Year"awardi
Magic Castle in hol!y»ood
ing 1977.
Mr. Fingers uses a,
performs magic that was
famous by the masters ol4
arts gone by. Tl\ete »»
much deserved standing ovm;
at the end of Saturday mjjt
performance.
SsCU
OLSlI
OF THE WEEK
It is my great honor to
announce that the first weekly
“Donkey of the Week Award"
goes to Kevin Rouse of Hackney
Hall.
It was 5:40 a.m. on August
28, 1980. The early morning
silence was broken by a rather
loud grinding sound... and
ultimately words that I refuse to
mention in this publication. For
you see, in his sleep, Kevin had
stuck his toe into a fan!
However, Kevin’s mis
fortunes for the day did Me
there. Coming out of Pari»»
Mall later on that eveii
Kevin realized that he co#
find his car. So he searchedil
completely filled parking 1
from one end to the ofc
Uuring his search, he bef
laughing at some “durabiiiif
who had left his parking #
on. He laughed and
until he recieved a harsh it
ization. It was his car.
So until next time
' W
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