Newspaper Page Text
The Collegiate
Page 10 October ’8,
CAMPUS LIFE
How to Flunk a Tremendous Test
By Sandy Aldridge
You have a test. A very big
test. TTie syllabus states this
test counts 140 percent of your
finiil grade. You need to do
good on this test. This means
you are going to have to study.
The test is a week from
Monday. You have lots of time
to study. You’ll start studying
now and study a little each
night. That way you'll really
know the material. You’ll show
them. You’re not as dumb as
you look. Study for an hour each
night that week before the test.
You have read all 1,600 pages of
your textbook. You have your
notebook memorized. You think
you will do good on your test.
You think you will.
It is now the weekend right
before the big test. Your best
friend whom you have not seen
for three years has flown in to
see you from Portland, Oregon.
But your test is more important.
Give her $20 and a map to the
Raleigh State Fair. You stay at
AC and keep studying.
It is now Sunday. It is also
your birthday. All your friends
want to take you out to dinner
and have a birthday party for
you. You end up blowing out
candles and grabbing a doggie
bag. Study from 1 p.m. until 2
a.m. You are interrupted once
when your best friend says
goodbye. She also says she is
not your best friend anymore.
Bury yourself back in your
books. Fall asleep around 2
a.m.
Wake up around 5:30 a.m.
You want to review your notes
one more time. You feel very
confident. You think you know
that stuff. You think you do. Go
over to the cafeteria to eat a
good breakfast. Chat with
friends about how easy you
think the test will be. Casually
browse over your notes again.
Oh, you know that stuff. You
think you know that stuff.
Skip along over to Hines. Sit
down in your seat. Start
thinking about this test. Think
about how much it counts, if
you flunk this test, you will flunk
the course. If you flunk this
course, you will flunk your
major. If you flunk your major,
you don’t graduate. If you don’t
graduate, you won't make any
money. If you don't make any
money, you won't eat. If you
don’t eat, you'll starve to death.
If you don’t stop worrying about
this test, you’ll pass out.
He is passing out the tests. A
20-page booklet is slapped down
on your desk. Whimjier a little.
Write your name and date on
the test. Feel a little more
confident. At least you can
remember your name. Read the
first question. Swallow hard.
Read the second question.
Moisten your lips. Read the
third question. You are starting
to feel a little faint. Read all 249
questions. You know the
answers to maybe 17 questions.
Answer the 17 questions you
know. That leaves only 232
questions to go. Glance around
the room. Everybody else is
writing away. Start writing
anything you can remember
from your notebook. Answer
false on all the true-false
questions. There is always an
exception to every rule. Answer
“D” on all the multiple choice
questions. That is going to be
the grade you are going to
receive. You might as well get
used to seeing that letter. For
fill-in-the-blanks, fill in pretty
little pictures. For essay ques
tions, write on and on and on
about absolutely nothing. Some
professors grade by the inch.
For short answer questions,
give short answers. Very short
answers. As in none at all.
NANTUCKET
and
THE BRICE STREET BAND
November 10, 1981 8 p.m. '^8 each
Wilson Recreation Center
Sponsored by BETA SIGMA PHI
TICKETS ON SALE IN WILSON AT
JIM'S CAMERA CENTER
DICK’S HOT DOGS
GOLDEN HITS
LUCIELLE'S
MONTICELLO'S
SYLVIA'S
THE JUNCTION
LIGHT WORLD
Turn your test in. Cram it
under the bottom of the pile.
Scuffle out of the classroom. All
your friends are talking about
how easy it was. Personally,
you didn't think it was that easy.
You flunked it.
Drag yourself back to your
dorm. You have been very calm
up to this point. So you flunk a
test. No biggie. No biggie?
Slam the door. Open the door
and slam it again. The hinge
breaks. Start laughing. Scream
real loud. Start throwing
things. Throw knickknacks.
Throw your books. Throw your
bookcase. Rip up your note
book. Burn all the pages. Pick
up your roommate's T.V. Start
to throw it out the window. End
Circle-^K
Activities
Circle-K is off to a great start
this year. For the month of
October a “trick or treat for
UNICEF” and a Halloween
Party for the Key Club of the
Eastern North Carolina School
for the Deaf have been planned.
In November a visit to a
nursing home and participation
in this year's homecoming car
nival have been planned. Pro
ceeds from the bubble gum con
test booth will go to UNICEF.
This year's officers are Beth
Martin, president: Cindy Ste
vens, vice president; Annette
Gillis, secretary; Crystal Crow
der, treasurer; and Tammy Van
Valkenburg, historian.
There is still time to join
Circle-K, so anyone interested
should come to the meetings.
up dropping it on your foot.
Start yelling. You hate that
class. You hate that professor.
That professor hates you. You
hate this school. You're going
to drop out. You’re going to
hang yourself. You hate this
place. He’ll be sorry he ever
flunked you. Look for a knife to
slit your wrists. Find a two-
pound bag of Snickers bars. Eat
all of them instead.
Sulk for 25 minutes. Sit witj,
your arms folded and a pout oo
your face. Just wait. You’ll
show them. Just wait. Your
roommate walks in. She actual
ly has the nerve to be smiling.
She asks how you did on your
test. Narrow your eyes at her.
She tells you not to worry about
it. Maybe you’ll do better on
the test you have at 11 a.m.
which you had completely for
gotten about.
Greek News
This year nas started off well
for Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity.
A chicken dinner was held Oct.
6 and over 500 plates were sold.
The house on 606 W. Nash is
shaping up well and the frater
nity finished a major painting
job in time for its open house on
Oct. 18.
Bids went out and the frater
nity announces the arrival of 10
pledges. They are Mark Welli-
ford, Steven Bishop, Steve
Edwards, Phillip Taylor, Tom
Messick, Harvey Stalls, Michael
Byrd, Wally Brumsey, Craig
Boyd and Mikah Williams. A
new little sister pledge, Debbie
Steeves, will be installed in the
near future.
Students are invited to stop
by the house and meet the
fraternity men. The red door is
a symbol of welcome extended
to all.
Brentwood
Center
291-6030
JUST ARRIVED!
Cheeno Pants
in Wool Blends and Wide
Wale Corduroy
Store Hourc
10-6 Mon. thru Sot.
Open Friday nite III 9 p.m.
Master Charge
VISA
Lay-Away
3tK=
OtKZ
Homeconiing Talent Show
Nov. 8 at 7;30 p.m.
in Hardy Alumni Hall
Featuring ACC Students
Bincee: Norbert Irvine First Prize '^25
for entry forms see:
Geoi^e Howell or Carolyn Campbell in Waters
or Jo Ann Hinton in Harper