Newspapers / The Echo (Pisgah Forest, … / Jan. 1, 1947, edition 1 / Page 13
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January, 1947 THE ECHO PAGE FIFTEEN ''oh YES,AUNT MARTWA JUNIOR's HAD SOME REMARKABLE RESULTS WITH THE :HEMISTRY StT YOU 6AVE Just For Fun LIKE EGGS — FRESH AND NEW, YOU BET! TIME WILL TELL Person Of The Month benjamin franklin Statesman, scientist, philosopher 3nd all around good fellow, Benja- ^11 Franklin left us richer for his wing been here. entered this in Boston on January 17, 1706, fifteenth of his father’s seven- offspring. When only eleven 5'®ars old, after a year of candle- "wking with his father, he was ap prenticed to his half-brother, pmes, a printer. Not being able ™ get along with brother James, “enjamin took himself to New *ork and then to Philadelphia, J^'here he arrived in 1723 practical- •f penniless. Being an industrious he soon had worked and made “lends. In 1724, Governor Keith offer- to stake him to a print shop of “IS own and sent him to England supplies. Like many other Politicians, Keith back-watered on bis offer and Benjamin was strand- in London. Returning to this country in 1726, he first went to "'ork for an old employer, but ®ter established his own shop j *th Hugh Meredith. Getting real s' busy, he bought and made a “Access of the Philadelphia Ga(zette; ®s appointed State Printer; be- a ?, write and sell Poor Rich- I'd’s Almanac. In 1730, he some- found the time to get mar- fied. Franklin was soon Philadel- Pnia’s leading citizen, and in 1731 ounded the Library Club which into the first circulating «Drary in America. By 1732, he Ss made Grand Master of the reemasons; was clerk of the ®nnsylvania Assembly from 1736 j? 1V51; organized the city’s first ‘fe company in 1736; was appoint- postmaster for the following j contributed philosophical scientific essays to his own his half-brother’s newspapers; iscovered and proved the rela- of lightning with electricity, conducted research work oich added to the understanding , electricity; organized Brad- ock’s transport system; organiz* the Northwest territory against Indian raids; founded the cademy of Philadelphia, which 3ter became the University of ennsyivania. p In 1753^ Franklin was appointed pstmaster General for the Colo- ■es. Going to London to get the j *"S to take over the province the Penn family, he stayed oattle against the Stamp Act nich Was repealed in 1766, large- ' through his efforts. He con- nued to fight for the rights of Colonists, but in 1775 saw the Pvi coming and returned to flJladelphia. Joining the battle. Presided over the Constitution- 3 ^onvention of Pennsylvania Was elected one of the com- nf T j to frame the Declaration Independence. ^ In 1770 jjg yj^ent to France as He of three commissioners looking r food, money, ammunition and military alliance. After the war e was appointed a member of ^“"^mission to negotiate the leace treaty with England, and ti his return in 1785 was four «mes elected President of the jj.iamonwealth of Pennsylvania. last experience in public life tiV* ® delegate to the Constitu- Convention. just never found the ja ? to complete his Autobiog- Ufp of a full and interesting ® 'vhich ended in 1790. the only big business that advertising is the a subway and that’s in SOFT TOUCH An Englishman spent a hectic two weeks in America. He never did manage to get himself straight ened out on the names and uses of American currency. “It was perfectly amazing how quickly I got used to American ways,” he told his friends when he got back to London. “Take those American coins and bills, ior instance. When I got out of a taxi, I just thrust all the Ameri can money I had at the driver and let him figure out the correct amount. Do you know, I was ab solutely right every time. It took just what I had—to the last pen ny!” FRESH Dear Old Lady: “Little boy, does your mother know you smoke?” Little Boy: “Does your hus band know you speak to strange men on the street?” LOOK OUT An excited housewife demanded a personal interview with the postmaster of a large western city. “Your department is complete ly inefficient,” she told him. “A week ago my husband left here to complete a large business deal in New York. This morning I re ceived a letter from him, and some idiot in your department post marked it “Atlantic City.’ ” Winston Churchill, until re cently, had a son-in-law for whom he had absolutely no use. The young man, an actor, was aware of the older man’s dislike and tried everything to improve mat ters, without success. At a formal dinner party at the Churchill country estate the actor suddenly remarked, “Sir, who do you think will go down in history as the greatest statesman of his age?” “Mussolini,” said Mr. Churchill instantly. The reply startled the guests, of course, and the young man gasped, “No, you can’t mean that. Why Mussolini?” “It’s very simple,” said Churchill, puffing placidly on his cigar. “He is the only one of us who had sense enough to shoot his son-in-law.” Grandpa was celebrating his jOOth birthday and from all sides he was being complimented on how weU he appeared. “I’ll tell ye the secret of my success,” crackl ed the old fellow. “Grandma and I were married 75 years ago, and on our weddinj night we made ar rangement that whenever we squabbled, the one who was prov ed wrong would go out for a walk. Folks, I’ve been in the open air almost continuously for 75 years.” SPREAD AROUND Mrs. Smith was lucky enough to find a vacant apartment. Inspect ing the rooms, she inquired about some stains on the ceiling of one of the rooms. “Oh, don’t worry about them,” said the landlord, “the last man who had the apart ment was a professor who was al ways experimenting with chemi cals.” “Oh, then, these spots must be from the chemicals?” “No, they’re from the professor.” ASKING TOO MUCH A sign on the wall of a fam ous restaurant proclaims: We have every kind of sandwich in the world. Just ask for it. One night a wise guy demand ed a whale sandwich. Temporari ly confused, the waiter said he’d have to speak to the boss about the request. After a bit, the waiter came back and reported, “The boss says he’ll be damned if he’ll cut up a whole whale just for one sandwich.” WELL A Kentucky hillbilly watched his wife cooking victuals. “Better move a mite, maw,” he suggested, “You be standin’ on a live coal.” “Do tell,” said Maw. “Which foot?” SERVES YOU RIGHT Mrs.: I stood in line for over an hour today. Mr.: What for? Mrs.: I don’t know. It was all gone by the time I got there. HEY, MISTER! A very useful poker table can be made by screwing a three-foot square of plywood to the top of an orange crate. Such a table elimi nates legs at the four comers and leaves more leg room. Some of the ingenious Germans in Berlin have found a way to make windows without glass. They do it with beer and wine botr- ties. They simply cut the necks off the bottles and cement them together. This is a clever way to dress up sununer cottages, doll houses for the kids or garages. Now you know what the face on the bar-room floor sees when it looks up. If you wife or girl hasn’t any thing to do with her spare time, have her make you a close-knit, dark-colored sleeveless sweater (unless you happen to have one left over from summer). Worn un der a shirt, it will do a lion’s job of keeping you warm in the face of February’s blustery winds. If you’re that man who has to take out the garbage, have your wife line the can with a size 16 grocery bag, reinforced with a couple of thicknesses of news paper. This docs much to save the garbage drips on your clothes. Probably you get tired of carry ing out tin cans at the end of every day. You’d just as soon let them collect fcr a week. Well, let the wife flatten out each day’s empty cans, and put them in one of these . . . cloth or flour sacks. They can be suspended near the sink and will help keep the cans collected in one inconspicuous place. LESS WALL SMUDGE. Thumb tacks, on the inside lower corners of a picture frame will prevent its touching the wall. This helps keep the frame from forming a black dust outline on the wall, and leaves enough air space for dust to drop through. It is reported that at one of 1‘oscannini’s rehearsals with the NBC orchestra the harp player plucked the wrong string, causing the maestro to break a record num ber of batons and go generally wild. The orchestra began again, and when the time came for the harpist to play his note, he was so upset that he repeated his mis take. Toscannini left the rehearsal m speechless rage. When the or chestra assembled for the broad cast the next day, the harpist found that every string had been removed from his harp .... ex cept the one he would be called upon to pluck. William Jennings Bryan, early in his career was interviewed by a reporter. “Put this in your pap er, son,” said the orator. “A man simply can’t make a million dol lars honestly.”- Many years ■ later, the reporter, now an editor had occasion to see Bryan in the same hotel in which the first interview had taken place. Bryan had in the meantime salted away quite a pile. “Re member what you told me about rich men?” queried the editor. “Certainly,” Bryan shot back, “I said, ‘A man simply can’t make two million dollars honestly.” EDITOR’S PROBLEM It’s tough to find For love or money A joke that’s clean And also funny. Among the distances recently shortened by the automobile is the distance between the introduc tion and the altar.
The Echo (Pisgah Forest, N.C.)
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Jan. 1, 1947, edition 1
13
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