Newspapers / University of North Carolina … / Jan. 1, 1960, edition 1 / Page 1
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/cr£: • R K /- ' f/OAJ£ : f 9£eOj (THE POOR KAN'S CAMHTS CEIER) \sri^)K£ . Ib/fc K,' ; ^ V Volxme whatever-it-was-last-tine Ashovillo,North Carolina Furiber-srune—plxis~l« H3EE IIE G-0 AaAIN! Reco.'gaizin/' true /^oniixs an'l talont when they see it,the editor an-^. staff of the Crier(renon'ber it? that paper the j oui-nalisn class used to print)have lot ^■^nclc G-om McHone take over for a wholo issue a^ain. This shows that they're all unselfish.kinlheartcd.an^ /^reat sports® (iUid nainly they .-’ct another week to rest while I do all the work.) This is posi tively the last tine I'll do it,so if you're readin.:^ this copy over sonoono's sho\ilder,or have "borrowod one fron sono- hody who ‘boxViht it,I have a nessa-Tie for you...SHELL OTTT.YO^' CHEAPSiaTBl These thine's will he collector's itons Gone day,and surely it's worth a few little ol' pennies to own a collector's iten. How can wo pay our fantastic dehts with conplinents fron people who road but do not “buy? 3e a sport about it,help send no throu^jh collo^.(In the front door and out the back,:^iided toixr,three dol- _ larSi) POfETRY-I'EATH'S DOOR- The recent rainy weather(which a few of US thou^^ht was the Second Flood) pvit ne in a negative,deathly nood,\?hich brou.^ht to nind the followin-'; two pnens: I.FSEED- "KillJ Snash,.'^ind,and destroy! Slay the evil ^'Jhite Man who has kept us in 'bonda.':;e so Ion.";! That was the one thou-^iht in the nad, hato-filled ninds of the freed slaves who swarned throu^'^h the streets,insane ly destroyin.'^ the V/hites in an an/5cr so fierce none of then loiew later which one of then had attacked and strant^led President Lincoln. II.THE SKELETON PIEP OE I'lALlTT'TEITIOlT- the skeleton died of nalnutrition and when they held his funeral all renarked on how fjood he looked so deathlike in his coffin, snilinp"; uxo at then fron two hollow eyes in which crawled two well-fed •'p:ave worns. RESTTLTS OE LAST ^'P^K'S C0NT3ST- In the Screaner' s bi.’^ ton-prtzo contest last issue,which denanded that you bo absent fron assenbly to win,no ono showed up on the assi.'^cd Thursday durin."! chapel tine. All the sophonores were takin^^ those silly little tests, nnd the rest of you either hadn't road the paper or just didn't care. In the absence of anyone to ^ive the prizes to, I did the only honorable thin,..I don ated then all to nyselfJ THE SCHOLASTIC SCREAMER STAIT Produced by J erry McHone directed by J crry McHone Costunes by J erry McHone lie'^htin.^ by J erry McHone Starrini^ J erry McHone Choreo,T;raphy enoHcM yrre J Special Effects n^uess %o? Lawsuits None...surprised? Litho.'^raphy J .R.McHone and Snith-Corona Advisor The Invisible Con science of JEM. (HBY,Y'ALL,I AIN'T THE ONLY" JEM""TP HEREl Ereshnan Jerry Moses' niddlo initial is also"R",so that nakes two of us JRI-t type"'rerns"on canpusJ If this keeps up,wc'll soon con^’uer the worldJ) LACK OE ICNO'-'LE^E For all you soph's 'n'sots who had achievenont tests recently,and for those who fool loft out because they didn't .'?;ot to take then.here's a short.extrenelr easy tcsjy. C5jiGstions count ton points each,rate yourself on a TDcrcenta-'Xc basis. (1)!!^o you understand Einstein's theory of reincarnation,hono,n:rnization,and life? (2)True or false?(Choose ono.) (3)Match th-^ followin.'!; lettered nanos to tho nunborod nanes: A.Robort ■^.Robert C.Robert I). Robert E. J ohn E. J ohn O’. J ohn H. J ohn (4)Eill in: in 1.E.Loo 2.Erost 3. Horton U.L.Stevenson 5.L.Lewis ^.the ■’aptist 7.Paxil J ones O.Honry was tho nain cause of _ history. (5)^'/hat youn^; starlet was seen with what producer at which club,at what hour? (?)Aro you now or have you over boon? (7)Make 1'' different words fron the let ters in tho word ZORRO. (8)The Ilinc-^ belon.'i'S to tho loard of Lords tho Board of Royalty.and tho "’oard of Musician's Local 5"'2. Tho Queen is a nenber of tho "^oard of Ladles, “>oard of Stupidity,and the "^oard of Iroads. T-7hat ,then,is their son,Prince I4elvin? (9)lf Oi nen can build houses in hours,and 10-| nen can tear down 5^ houses in 1-^ hours,where the hock do all those -l-non cone fron? (10)Wero you offended because of tho "wo(9k''lnnc;ua.':;e when wo used"hock''in- stead of tho nore onphatic"hcll"in nunber 9? iANSl|ERS__ON EA-lFjy
University of North Carolina at Asheville Student Newspaper
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Jan. 1, 1960, edition 1
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