Newspapers / University of North Carolina … / Sept. 19, 1996, edition 1 / Page 3
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Parking problems and more Dear Editor, Parking at UNCA is com pletely ridiculous. It’s not the fact that you might have to park far from class one day, and even farther away the next; it’s the principle on which parking privileges are based. Who set this thing up any way? Even federal and state government has become cus tomer service oriented. It amazes me that the fac ulty at UNCA has been given almost all of the parking spaces close to the campus classrooms. Even major cor porations make their employ ees park farther from their place of employment than they would make their cus tomers park. UNCA’s policy on parking is completely the reverse of that in society. You’re not going to find the front park ing spaces at your local super market reserved for the butcher and the produce per son, so why is it that all the choice parking spaces on cam pus are reserved for our fac ulty? The students at UNCA are the customers. As customers, we should ex pect, no, demand the same treat ment we would expect if we were shopping at Biltmore Square Mall. It may be comparing apples to oranges, but the principle is the same. And I’m not saying that no faculty members should be al lowed to park close; quite the contrary, executives and depart ment heads should be able to park close. Not only that, but UNCA should provide our dignitaries with personal parking spaces complete with a name placard. The whole issue is trivial and unimportant aside from the un fortunate souls who reside on campus that may have to park in the lot below Southridge— there’s a rape waiting to happen. UNCA administration is ulti mately responsible for this issue. Confounding the problem are those nasty little pieces of paper left on our windshields by “ticket boy.” This raises another question: What are our illustrious over paid campus police doing any way? Students by no means should be ticketed for parking in the precious “faculty park ing” spaces. Handicapped, fire zones, visitor parking, and commut ers parking in resident parking spaces are reasons for being ticketed; all the rest is plain old B.S. Also, there are two grammar errors in the editorial about parking in T/>e Blue Banner. One is on the cover page, and the other is on page 8. I hope no one will have to hold the editor’s hand to find them; after all, that’s what an editor is there for. Lastly, what is the purpose of putting a moronic point of view in the paper like that of this Elliot person? I think we’re all quite aware of the things we have to be thankful for with out some idiot trying to throw it up in our faces. This indi vidual needs to get a life. Bruce Cotton UNCA commuter student Sophomore Ask Margarita! — ^ - Dear Margarita, I have a major problem. This guy I was dating recently broke up with me for another girl. However, when he sees me around another guy, he glares at me and acts jealous. This is really getting on my nerves. I want to say some thing to him, but want it to be more eloquent than, “Get off my back!!” Friends have given me some pointers, but another opinion couldn’t hurt. What do you think I should do? Ticked Off Dear Ticked Olf, This guy really needs to make up his mind. Itseems as though he doesn’t remember that />e was the one who broke it off with j/ou. In my humble opin ion, he wants you to remain single, while he enjoys the spoils of his new love. You really should talk to him since this is really becoming a prob lem for you. Bring to his atten tion that he did not make you an old maid, and that you have the right to associate with whomever you choose. He has no right to glare at you and make you feel uncomfortable. This guy seeing you with guys, other than himself, has made him realize what a mistake he made. Now he has to live with it. Dear Margarita, I have a problem. I have a girlfriend, but I’ve been at tracted to other girls and this one guy. I want to explore my feelings, but don’t know what to do. Please give me some rational advice. Confused Dear Confused, This is a matter that, most likely, has been extremely dif ficult to keep to yourself. I am sure that suppressing your feel ings for these people has made things a bit awkward when you ■ are around them. However, someone to talk to seems to be what you need, instead of advice. The most productive and helpful thing for you to do would be to make an appointment with the Counseling Center. There you can talk with someone who will understand what you are going through, and offer some insight into the matter. Moreover, every thing discussed would be con fidential. Through them, you can discover how to handle your situation in the best way. Good luck! If you would like to ask Margarita’s advice, write her at: The Blue Banner 208 A Carmichael Hall One University Height Asheville. NC 28804-3299 "Quell a suppressor, join the fight" Thank you for your hard work in the fundraising effort Dear Editor, Our means of voicing our opinions and changing the status quo have dwindled. Our only outlet to social and political change in the world is through grass root organi zations. The Amnesty Inter national Chapter at UNCA is an outlet for you and I to stop human rights abuse. As a chapter this year, we plan on confronting issues such as woman’s rights, and more. Our first educational meeting will Sept. 25, at 5:00 p.m. in the Side Door. Professor Abunura of the BAD POG s political science department will give us in-depth look at the plight of the Kurdish people and a chance to take action. Quell a suppressor, join the fight for human rights. David Chase Student Coordinator I'M A VICTIM ^ OFNESATIVe advertising. Dear Editor, On behalf of the Asheville- Mountain Area Chapter of the American Red Cross, I would like to recognize and thank Matt Schneider and other members of Pi Lambda Phi who held a car wash this past weekend and raised over $200 for the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. To date, the Red Cross has opened 384 shelters in five states in response to Hurricane Fran with a total population of 37,527. In all, the Red Cross has served nearly 600, 000 meals. In North Carolina alone. Red Cross assistance is esti mated to cost $6.9 million, with at least 25, 000 families af fected. Over 500, 000 of the meals served have been in North Carolina, and 149 shelters have been opened. All Red Cross disaster assis tance is free, made possible by voluntary gifts of time and money such as that given by Pi Lambda Phi. We are truly grateful for their generosity, and continue to encourage West ern North Carolinians to sup port our disaster relief fund. Donations can be sent to the Asheville-Mountain Area Chapter, 100 Edgewood Road, Asheville NC 28804. If other student organizations want to learn more about how they can help the Red Cross either through fundraising events or the donation of vol unteer services, please contact me at 258-3888 ext. 226. Teri Smith UNCA Alumna Director of Public Relations/ Community Volunteer Ser vices Asheville-Mountain Area Chapter, American Red Cross This is your chance to take a stand against ads you really hate Dave Barry Columnist So I turned on my car radio, and the first thing I heard was the Shouting Car Dealership Jerk. You know the one I mean. He sounds like this: “BELOW DEALER COST!! MAXSNOTWICK FORD DODGE ISUZU CHEVROLET NISSAN STUDEBAKER TOYOTA IS SELLING CARS AT BE LOW DEALER COST!! WE’RE LOSING MONEY ON THESE CARS!! WE HAVE TO MAKE ROOM FOR MORE CARS!! SO WE CAN LOSE MORE MONEY!! WE HAVE PRO CESSED CHEESE FOR BRAINS!! THAT’S WHY WE’RE SELLING CARS FOR BELOW DEALER...” I immediately did what I always do when the Shouting Car-Dealership Jerk comes on: I changed the station. I will listen to ANYTHING—in cluding Morse Code, static, and the song “A Horse With No Name”— before I will listen to those commercials, and I think most people feel the same way. So the question is: Why are they on the air? Why are car dealerships paying good money for commercials that people hate? My theory is that these com mercials are NOT paid for by car dealerships; they’re paid for by competing radio stations, who hope you’ll switch to them. I developed a similar theory years ago about the infamous “ring around the collar” com mercials for Wisk. Remember those? They always featured a Con cerned Housewife who tried and tried to get her husband’s col lars clean; but when her hus band, who apparently did not wash his neck, would put on a shirt, people would point out that his neck was dirty. You’d think he would have punched them in the mouth but instead he just looked chagrined, and this extremely irritating voice—voices that would kill a laboratory rat in seconds— would shriek: “RING AROUND THE COLLAR! RING AROUND THE COL LAR!” And the Concerned House wife would be SO embarrassed that the only thing preventing her from lying down right on her kitchen floor and slashing her wrists was the fear that the paramedics might notice that she had waxy yellow buildup. There was a time when the “ring around the collar” cam paign was arguably the single most detested aspect of Ameri can culture. Many people swore that, be cause of those commercials, they would not purchase Wisk if it were the last detergent on Earth. Yet the commercials stayed on the air for YEARS. Why? Because SOMEBODY was buying Wisk. The question is: Who? My theory is that it was the Soviet Union. These ads ran during the height of the Cold War, when the Soviets would stop at nothing to destroy America. I believe they sent agents over here with the mission of pur chasing huge quantities ofWisk; this convinced the Wisk manu facturers that the “ring around the collar” campaign was work ing, so they kept it on the air, thereby causing millions of Americans to conclude that they lived in a nation of complete idiots, and thus to become de pressed and alienated. I believe that virtually all the negative developments of the 60s and 70s—riots, protests, crime, drug use, “The Gong Show’ ’—^were related, directly or indirectly to Wisk commer cials. I also believe that to this day, somewhere in the former So viet Union, there are giant hid den underground caverns con taining millions of bottles of Wisk. I’ll tell you another kind of ad I hate: The ones where they give you information that could never be of any conceivable use to you. For example, there was a series of ads for some giant chemical company, I forget which one. where they’d show you, say, a family watching television, and the announcer would say some thing like: “We don’t make televisions. And we don’t make the little plastic things th&t hold the wires inside the televisions. We make the machines that stamp the numbers on the little plastic things that hold the wires inside the televisions.” When I saw those ads, I wanted to scream: WHY ARE YOU PAYING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO TELL ME THIS? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?? I also do not care for: Any ad featuring a demon stration of a product absorbing an intimate bodily fluid. Any ad where a singer sings with deep emotion about some thing nobody could possibly feel deeply emotional about, such as cotton, Hoover vacuum cleaners, and Jiffy Lube. Builders Square has a com mercial wherein the singer bleats this hyper-patriotic song that makes it sound as though the people shopping there are actually building America, whereas in fact they are look ing for replacement toilet parts. Any of the endless series of ads by long-distance compa nies accusing other long-dis- tance companies of lying. LIS TEN, LONG-DISTANCE COMPANIES: WE DON’T BELIEVE ANY OF YOU ANYMORE. WE’RE THINKING OF GOING BACK TO SMOKE SIG NALS. Excuse me for shouting like this Car Dealership Jerk; I get emotional about this. I’m sure you do, too, which is why I’m inviting you to write to me at One Herald Plaza, Miami, Fla., 33132, and tell me—BRIEFLY—what adver tisements, past or present, that you really hate, and why. I’ll write a column about this, which will benefit hu manity in general by enabling' me to write yet another col umn without doing any re search. Don’t thank me: I do it all for you. At WAY below dealer cost.
University of North Carolina at Asheville Student Newspaper
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Sept. 19, 1996, edition 1
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