Newspapers / University of North Carolina … / Jan. 29, 1998, edition 1 / Page 2
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Page 2 The Banner January 29,1998 Opinions The Banner Editorial Let it snow Child care—it's back! It looks like we are back in the same old rut with the Student Government Association. Yet again, child care is a main focus in SGA deliberations. If they try the same approach as they have in recent years, they should expect to get nowhere. If Senators Jim Lackey and David Marshall really want this year “to be different,” they should try going directly to the North Carolina General Assembly via our local representatives and senators instead of lobbying the UNCA administration. Obviously, after 17 years of lobbying Vice Chancellor lovacchini and company, who cannot produce the desired result—on-campus or near campus child care facilities that would, indeed, serve UNCA’s predominantly non-traditionally-aged, commuter population well—this old problem deserves a new approach to get a feasible solution. New hawliday for UNCA The Banner also laments the budget shortfall in the SGA currently being suffered by the Adrian Tatum administration at the hands of the previous free-spending administration led by the now-departed but certainly not forgotten (now) Sergio Mariaca. Guess the new stop sign at the university’s main entrance and the stone walkway that cuts across the Quad ended up costing a little more than the construction contracts originally specified. SGA Vice President Tiffany Drummond said that the belea guered student government might have to sell doughnuts to make up for the shortfall if the SGA runs out of money during the semester and still has projects left to do. Here’s a suggestion, Tiffany. Leave the doughnuts to Krispy Kreme. And if you have to do any belt-tightening, cancel the proposed “pawliday.” Pawliday? Good one, Housing No, we’re not blaming the UNCA housing office for the snowstorm that ravaged western North Carolina on Tuesday. The blame for that goes to all the geniuses at our local TV affiliates who, despite all their “Super Doppler” gadgetry, maintained throughout the day and night that the snow would eventually turn to rain. Oh, well, at least we got a couple of days of classes cancelled out of it. But UNCA Housing really dropped the ball when dealing with the power outage that began Tuesday night around 6 p.m. After Governor’s Village plunged into complete darkness, Housing sent resident assistants on door-to-door candle searches, telling those who wished to remain in light to blow out their candles due to the candles being fire hazards. The RAs were told to eliminate the candle usage without offering an alternative lighting source. What Housing officials failed to realize was that they were putting residents without flashlights in even more danger, since residents couldn’t even see their way to the bathroom. And if there had been a fire in someone’s room, would the residents who obeyed and blew out their candles have been able to see the unlit exit signs? Let’s use a little common sense here. If college students shouldn’t be allowed to have candles during a power outage, then maybe they should have an administrator walk them to class every day. Nonetheless, if the liability must be eliminated, how about passing out some of those cheap little plastic flash lights next time? Try solving the problem instead of creating another one. The end of the month? Washburn and McGoldrick of Latham, N. Y. have released the findings of their feasibility study of UNCA’s desired $13 million capital drive. And while the consultants have found that $13 million in private donations to the UNCA Founda tion over a three to five-year period is unfeasible—for now. But the consultants do think that UNCA should go ahead with a campaign to raise $8 million in much needed private funds to raise the endowment for academic scholarships, faculty sup port, and technological advances in the classrooms and labora tories of the university. The campaign goals are on the money, but how are we going to meet the recommendations of the consultants in order to get the campaign going? Do we have the resources to hire all of the new people needed to plan and implement the campaign? Should we get into the campaign knowing that the chancellor, who is extremely valuable to the UNCA community because of her accessibility to students, faculty, and friends of the univer sity, must spend up to half of her time seeking private sector donations for future improvements to the school? All of these questions are out there, and we have until the end of January to decide about the campaign? These questions demand serious thinking on the part of the UNCA commu nity, and if we have to decide in a matter of days on whether or not to implement the campaign, the campaign can only suffer because of undue haste on the part of the administration. Football plus violence equals profit So another football season has come and gone, thank God, and red-blooded Americans will have to find another violent catharsis to sustain their docile state until the next season begins. Do I sound a bit contemptuous? Faboo. This past Sunday, I went to Two Moons Brew-N-View looking for ward to an evening of inexpensive (see: ‘cheap drunk’) beer. The Simpsons, King of the Hill, and The X-Fiies on a large projection screen. If you have not enjoyed the experience of a Sunday evening at Two Moons, I can only curse you for the fool you are. The experience of sharing these entertaining pro grams with 100+ beer-drinking strangers in a cinernatic environ ment, each influencing the others’ experience, is one not to be missed. Sadly, I DID miss it. Why? Because I had forgotten that it was our nation’s national holiday: Super Bawl Sunday. It IS a holiday, and I shall endeavor here to be its Grinch. In the same way that the Catholic Trinity ruled Western Europe in theMiddleAges (Thankyou, HUM 214), we have a modern trinity that rules us even more completely to day. The Holy Spirit is the ideal of American capitalism, the Father is Madison Avenue, and the Son go ing forth into the world to preach the gospel is television. Make no mistake, folks, this trinity pervades every aspect of our lives, IS the national religion, and is the reason why Super Bowl Sunday is a na tional holiday. David Rothman columnist “Which team are you cheering for?” I asked. “Oh, the Packers, of course,” was the reply. “I’m from Wisconsin.” “I see. So the Packers are all origi nally from Wisconsin, huh?” “Um...no, I don’t think so.” So here is how it breaks down: You invest your time, emotional energy, and (most important to the trinity) your MONEY in support ing the Packers because they prac tice in your state and include their name in their corporate logo. The wealthy men who own the corporations...er, franchises... er...TEAMS play on your regional pride and somehow convince you that if the team that practices near est to your home wins, it somehow reflects well on you and your neigh bors. Question: Do you really believe that these corporate entities would give a rat’s ass for winning regional pride and a year’s bragging rights if it did not ensure higher future ticket sales and merchandising revenues? Here’s one foryou: Remember The Super Bowl Shuffle’? Can you deny that it was God-awful crap? Mar keted well, though. Bill Hicks, who agreed that marketing is the art of convincing folks they need some thing they really don’t, had some fabulous advice for those of you in marketing: “Kill yourselves. You are Satan’s little helpers. Kill yourselves.” Okay, maybe I just do not get sports. Or it might be more accu rate to say that I do not understand sports fans. I enjoy watching the virtuosic performances of highly skilled and trained athletes in a way similar to that in which I enjoy watching Bela Fleck playing banjo (Feb. 8, tickets available in Highsmith), Bonnie Raitt playing the slide guitar, Bill Hicks’ orating (Bill was an outstanding social com mentator and the funniest comedian ever. Buy every thing he ever did, especially ‘Rant in E-Minor’), Savion Glover’s tap-danc ing, or Al Pacino playing any role (except Richard III). This enjoy ment is based in the pure joy of being witness to a master at work, seeing someone do what they do as only the best, the most skilled can. That being said, can you recall a time when any of these virtuosos in spired rioting with their work? By a performance that disappointed their fans? Yeah, yeah, I know...I’m thinking of soccer riots too. Hey! They call it “football” overseas! Connection? Maybe it has sometl^ing to do with the violence of football. As wise man (see: ‘smartass’) George Carlin taught us: “Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium. WAR MEMORIAL STADIUM. Football is rigidly timed and it will end even if we have to go to SUDDEN DEATH, In football, in the stands, you can be sure that at least 27 times during the game, you are capable of taking the life of another human being. The object of the game in football is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the ‘Field General,’ to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz even if he has to use the shotgun. With short, bullet passes and long bombs he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack which punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy’s defensive line.” And we teach this to our kids at an early age. Besides preparing them for careers as paid killers (see: ‘sol diers’), what does it prepare them for? What does it teach them, aiij what kind of society does this help maintain? Carry the war/football analogy just a tiny bit further and it seems to partially explain apolitical culture in which we still overspend o n weapo nswhlleourpublicschools are often underfunded jokes; why UNCA wastes so much money in athletics that could be spent on tht building of departments and aca demic scholarships (isn’t college supposed to be a place of higher LEARNING?); or why our priori ties are so screwed up that more of your classmates could tell you de tails from the Super Bowl than why the words “Clinton,” “perjury,” and “impeachment” might be c nected (insert exasperated inhala tion here). Okay, I believe I have successfull; vented the ol’spleen. If I havemadt any of you angry, please considi that all that football and snackfooJ may have jacked up your testoster one levels. Take a deep breath and read or re read Justin Stein’s column. He has got something relevant and important to say on a subject that effects all of us even more than football. White House internship hands-on Ah, to be an intern working in the White House these days! In what other job can you get hands-on experience with the presidential staff in such a close-knit environment? Just ask 24-year-old Monica Lewinsky, the most recent addition to the family of controversial fig ures who have emerged during the Bill Clinton administration. Bumped into a position at the Pentagon before being dragged into a grueling investigation of Clinton’s infidelity, she denied all questions of her moral standing, and that was that. Until of course, taped phone messages between Lewinsky and a friend were conveniently uncov ered, tapes bragging of friendly re lations with President Clinton, and jealousy concerning his behavior with others on the staff Now she stands trial again accused of lying in the first, and doing everything in her power to get out of it. Now, whether or not our president is guilty of anything (adultery, ob struction of justice, or influence peddling) is not for me to say, but let us assume that the courts do just that. To me, it is not nearly as disturb ing that our president is running around acting like a horny 15-year- Heather Garren columnist old who just discovered himself than is the fact of his total disregard for the legal institution we call mar riage. The last time 1 heard, mar riage was a contract, a promise of monogamy to the person you love. Marriage is a commitment that was made by our president, the man ultimately running our govern ment, of his own free will. This commitment was broken willingly, this contract that the president placed his signature on. Quite a meaningful signature, don’t you think? Bill Clinton’s signature rests on bills and contracts that immedi ately affect our lives. If Clinton’s signature means so little to him that he can so blatantly ignore a respon sibility that he went into ofhis own choice, what guarantee do we have on other agreements he has privi leged with his signature? Where do the American people stand in the eyes of a man who would betray the one person he loves? Can we really count on a man to be faithful as our president, when his wife cannot even count on him to be a husband? Do we really want the leadgr of the country we call home to be of as deceitful a character as Bill Clinton has proven himself to be? It is true that throughout our his tory, some of our presidents have made reputations for themselves that may have been less than per fect. It is also true that some great things have been done for our coun try by men that might be consid ered immoral in some aspects. My concern in this ordeal is that Clinton does not seem'to have the intelligence to cover it up any bet ter. I would prefer to be led by someone with a little more discre tion than Pamela Anderson Lee. One question in the case of Monica Lewinsky is should she be held re sponsible for her part in Bill Clinton’s mishap? Normally I would give an indefinite yes to that, but I cannot place much of the blame on her. This was the presi dent, and I imagine that his is a fairly hard offer to refuse. Of course, she knew that he was married and that should have detoured her from the beginning, but once again, he is the one who is married. Looking from her perspective though, here is the most powerful man in the United States paying attention to her, and, unfortunately, it looks like that would just be too good of a story to tell her grandkids about. Not blameless, but obviously the weaker variable in the affair, Lewinsky’s most damning mistake was trying to cover it up. She should have just written a book about her experience and let Clinton fend for himself A subject less mentioned seems to be First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton’s place in the ordeal. Con sidering Clinton’s shady past, it makes you wonder exactly what it is that keeps her around. Maybe her position in the office of First Lady: It seems to me that if this relation ship had even a small amount to do with love and all that other stuti that marriages usually include, she would have left long ago. Clinton has made the place of First LadyJ humiliating, degrading position, and it appears that is just fine witl Mrs. Clinton as long as she has hei say. In the office of president sits i power-hungry couple—a man thai holds his head high while he smib at the camera, standing next to his wife and teenage daughter. Ht promises us freedom and a country to be proud of, but just cannot seem to keep his pants on. A woman full of integrity smiles with himi her hand resting on his shoulder as she nods in agreement with his whole-hearted speeches. The daughter laughs at a clever joke from her dad and looks properly into the audience. This is the happy family that serves us, strong be cause they are together for a pur pose. Clinton gets to go by the tide of president, and Hillary gets to run the government. What more could our country ask for? The true victim, besides the Ameri can people, has to be Chelsea Clinton. It is a sad situation when a child is forced to be brought up a family where power and money are the basis for their existence to gether. Not only is President Clinton ignoring the right of the people to have a leader that we can respect, he is putting his daughter in an embarrassing situation. It i* there that he has made his bigge**
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