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Page! The Banner ■ April 27, 2000 April 27 Opinions - The Banner - Editorial A farewell to arms Back to basics The Washington D.C. police deUberately denied protestors their civil rights at the IMF and World bank meetings on April 15, according to participants in the protest. Around 600 protestors were arrested, yet their Miranda rights were never read to them, they were denied access to lawyers, water and bathroom privileges. The fact that these violations still take place is appalling. The fact that it happened in America instead of some third world country makes it even more frightening. America stands for freedom and justice, and when our police force takes away those ideals, Americans need to raise their voices in protest. Our forefadiers created the right to peaceably assemble so citizens could publicly object and demonstrate against an aspect of the government that they do not agree with. When this right is infringed upon, other rights could easily be taken away. Even though they supposedly committed the crime of parad ing without a permit, their punishment was extreme for such a small misdemeanor. They were voicing their objections, which is everyone’s right. Obviously, the police’s objective was to keep as many protest ors off the street as possible, but in doing so, they took the first step toward abolishing civil rights. Law officials have the momentous task of keeping peace and ensuring safety, yet sometimes they cross the line, and we need to be aware of those instances by bringing them to national attention. Instead of calming one protest, the police created another. A class-action lawsuit is being filed against the D.C. force be cause of their mistreatment of the demonstrators. We can only hope that this warns future law-enforcement officials to abide by the laws when massive protests are held. Ensuring the safety and rights of every individual is our responsibility. We can not become content in our affluent society and fail to recognize the plight of fellow Americans. The big picture The Supreme Court came to a head April 26 over the issue of whether the Boy Scouts of America can actively exclude homosexuals because it violates their code of “cleanliness and moral straightness.” In 1990, then-19-year-old James Dale was removed from his position as an assistant scoutmaster after the troop discovered that he was co-president of a gay and lesbian organization at Rutgers University. Among the arguments for and against allowing the exclusion was the argument that if the organization was not allowed to exclude homosexuals, its members might become more vocally adamant on their opinions of gays. Is the vocalizations of one group more important than the preservation of every American’s legal right to not be discrimi nated agianst? Granted, the legal supports for non-discrimina tion do not always hold up against individual prejudices, but setting a legal precedent for would-be discriminators to refer ence would be a phenomenal mistake. Regardless of the ramifications within the Boy Scouts, allow ing an organization of that size and influence to openly reject individuals because of sexual preference would open the floodgates for other private and public organizations to seek legal protection for excluding other groups from their organi zations — and then, they would have a Supreme Court deci sion to back them up. Are we, as a people used to living with a minimum of con cern about being rejected because of sex, race, creed or sexual preference, willing to begin the tide of regression that will inevitably lead to more and more discrimination against all types of people? “Giving public accommodations broad freedom to exclude people the organization believes do not match its message could ‘swallow the civil rights laws,”’ said Evan Wolfson, the plaintiff s lawyer, in an April 26 Raleigh News and Observer article. The United States has worked hard, and is still working, to ensure the rights of all our citizens. To make this decision in favor of the Boy Scouts would deal a heavy blow to the many people still struggling to be an equal part of our society. Let us hope that the Supreme Court has the presence of mind to consider the bigger picture, and understand that there are larger freedoms at stake than one organization’s wish to be “morally straight.” 'Til then As we publish our last newspaper of the semester, The Banner editorial board hopes that UNCA has been motivated to act on some of the issues brought forth in this semester’s papers. We are here to stimulate thought and forward public discus sion among the UNCA community. We look forward to receiving your comments next fall when we resume publication. A commentary on whiny people M Andrew Thomasson columnist pockets or down their pants and walk out with it. As Mark Twain once said, “We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it — and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stovelid. She will never sit down on a hot stovelid again — and that is well; but also she will never sit on a cold one anymore.” Bitchers say “I hate them hippie tree- hugging el as either pawns to do the bitcher’s bidding, or as ears to absorb their theses on everything under the They are also usually painfully under educated rega.rditig the topic about which they bitch, making the listener cringe, not only at the bitcher’s faux intellectualism, but at their ignorance as well. It is an opinion of mine that people should many reasons (ego trip included), educate themselves on a particular but mostly for the simple reason topic and know the pros and In a discussion I had with one of my professors some weeks ago, he complimented me on my column writing, and told me how much he liked the fact that I do not spend my columns bitching about this thing or that thing. He said that I talk about interesting issues con cerning us all in a fashion that is logical, not just whiny. I appreciated his compliment for Remember, judge not, lest ye be judged. that I strongly dislike whiny people and I’m glad that 1 haven’t been grouped with them. And since I strongly dislike them, I hereby dedicate this column to why I hate bitchy people. They are, as a general rule, self- centered snobs that care about themselves and themselves only. It makes litde or no difference how what they do or say affects the world around them. The people they sur round themselves with are viewed of the issue before they decide the world needs to be enlightened with their brilliance. Also, these people tend to per petuate stereotypes. Another of my pet peeves is when someone draws an assumption about all people in a group because of the actions of a single individual towards them. J ust because one teenager stole some thing from your store does not mean every kid under the age of eighteen is going to stick something in' their commie left- wing bastards because of...blah blah blah...” It bothers me that bitchers, or anyone for that matter, hate a group for the actions of an individual. Inactive bitchers are the worst. You know the ones of which I speak.. They’re the ones that go along to rallies and protests to pick up girls, or because they don’t want to be left out. They very rarely have any con victions of their own, and are hope lessly naive in the opinions they do carry. They are the ones who do not vote on Election Day, then spend the next two, four, or six years whin ing about how crappy a job the elected officials are doing. A good smaller scale example is the Student Government Associa tion here at UNCA. The people who are elected catch an inordinate amount of flack from the student body for being elitist, and only sponding to the needs of a select few. They cater to the so-called elite because, quite simply, the elite we the ones that voted them into ofFii to start with. If you don’t bother i vote, don’t whine about who ge elected. If you don’t like who running, run yourself, if you thir you can do a better job. Finally, I come to my least favorite part about bitchy people. They tend proportions, who cannot or will not see the traits in themselves that they spend so much time berating in others. That’s like white people picking i white people for being white. Sounds pathetic when you put it like that, but I actually have s people doing it. This extends to the armchair qi terbacks and sofa coaches and sportswriters, whose livelihoods; spent questioning coaches and play ers about why they did such and such in this situation, and why didn’t they do this instead, because they would have won the world. Again, ifyou were the better athlete or strategist, the team would have hired you instead. Remember, judge not, lest ye be judged. And please, quitcherbitchin’. some 0 recent n novement > P> iwareness ^ factor rard reach be the se SLPs) offt Jatural I ECON : ENVR33: classr naterial w itting. This sem ssistant pi her E( SLP o imental felt tha hese SLPs Addition A collection of random anecdotes for the end of the spring semester Jennifer Ross _ columnist Okay, the good news is that there is only two weeks left of school. The bad news is that, for most of us, these last three weeks are the most stressful. There are many methods to handle the stress of evaluations, research papers and final exams. These meth ods include time management, meditation, and the ever-popular mental breakdown. But I believe the best method for stress manage- So in my quest to take some of the stress out of the last few weeks of school for everybody reading, I scoured my friends, underneath large rocks, the Internet, and that gray matter I call my brain, all in the search of humorous jokes. This is what I found. If grades were determined by sub ject... Department of history — All stu dents get the same grade they got last year. Department of music — Each stu dent must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). Department of philosophy—What Department of psychology— Stu dents are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. Department of religion- Grade is determined by God. Real responses to class and teacher evaluations... 1. “Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was and what I was doing. It’s a great stress reliever.” 2. “I would sit in class and stare out the window at squirrels. They’ve got a cool nest in the tree.” 3. “(The professor) teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high.” 4. “TA steadily improved through out the course... I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up.” 5. “The textbook would be more enjoyable if served in an alfredo Ten ways to bomb an exam cre atively... L Get a copy of the exam and then run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!” 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, de bate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure you can hear me think ing. ” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Go to the instruc tor, say “They’ve found me. I have to leave the country,” and run off 4. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christ mas.” Ifyou’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this pro cess every fifteen minutes. 5. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. 6. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to an other seat, and continue with the 7. Comment on how sexy the in structor is looking that day. 8. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the in structor would recognize you ifyou belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight foryour right to take the exam. 9. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. 10. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she/he’s not look ing. Blame it on the person nearest to you. Fifteen ways to freak your room- 1. Spend all your money on Trans formers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, “They’re more than meets the eye.” 2. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while humming Wagne rian arias on a kazoo. If your room mate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench). 3. Ask your roommate if your fam ily can move in “just for a couple of 4. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk 5. Smile. All the nme. 6. Hideabunchofpotato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food and eat it. If your roommate emp ties the trash before you get hungry, demand that she/he reimburse 7. -Shave one eyebrow off 8. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. Ifyour roommate comments, mutter, “Gotta save space,” twenty times while twitch ing violently. 9. Clip your fingernails and nails and keep them in a ba| Leave the baggie near your com puter and snack from it while study ing. If she/he walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously. 10. Whenever his/her parents call and ask foryour roommate, breathe into the phone for five seconds then hang up. i 1. Stare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. Don’ say anything, just stare. 12. Take all of your roommate’: furniture and build a fort. Guard the fort for an entire weekend. 13. Whenever you’re on the phone and she/he walks in, hang up mediately without saying anything and crawl under your desk. Sit there for two minutes, then call whoever it was back. 14. Eat moths. 15. Ifyou know that she/he is i room, come barging in ot breath. Ask if they saw a fat naked Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing. In summary, I would like to leave you with a deep thought. What brown and sticky? Answer; A stick. \thleti )ear Editi On Apri f African ressed thf UNCA 14 lectur )olly Mu )f politica reiterat ersity at I onsonho verall m fo aurethai le lecture 'hat enthi m COI doi pul sta sio we fici Tu( Ha let!
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