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The Blue Banner
September28,2000
Features
What type of driver are you?
Sean Clancy
Columnist
Last week in my psychology
class, we discussed the funda
mental attribution error. My
professor explained it through
the example of road rage. In
our culture, we automatically
assume that the driver who
drives slowly, obstinately and
thoughtlessly is a moron.
However, the error comes in
when we fail to realize situ
ational possibilities. The driver
could be thinking about terri
bly important things, and just
can’t pay that much attention
to driving.
Well, I’m no psychologist,
but I think people who drive
like they can’t, make me in
sane when they attack in num
bers.
How many times have you
said I
know, too many times to
count. Almost every time I get
in my car, I encounter some
one who displays, at best, a
vague grasp of motor vehicle
use.
They obviously knew how
to get the car started, they just
have to work on that other
stuff. The funny thing is that
bad drivers can’t learn to drive
any better with practice.
You know that friend who
has wrecked four cars since
high school, or perhaps your
grandmother who scares the
bejesus out of you when she’s
driving? As an example, my
grandfather was legally blind
the last four years he had his
license.
A few summers ago, while
riding my bicycle to the beach,
I met an older gentleman when
he introduced himself by
launching me into the wind
shield of his Volvo. He told
the police that he hadn’t seen
me, and I believe him, but it
was a cloudless Saturday
morning and I was the only
thing moving on my side of
the road.
Even if I knew about the
fundamental attribution er
ror, I don’t think I would be
very open to considering his
situation.
Notwithstanding, the person
most likely to be ruining my
day over five seconds is the
guy in the left lane. He is
constantly, perpetually and
permanently doingsomething
wrong. He’s right in front of
)>ou, crawling along while the
infinite line of cars in the right
lane whiz past you, each
“whoosh” an implacable re
minder of your hapless posi
tion.
Your head drops as you ex
hale and wonder why this per
son is driving so slowly in the
passing lane. Then the funda
mental attribution error kicks
in and the only realistic, rea
sonable and possible explana
tion for his behavior is that
he’s a bloody idiot.
He’s slamming on the brakes,
coming to a complete halt
before putting on the left turn
blinker, announcing your in
termission from going any
where. Your heart palpitates,
because you weren’t paying
attention either, and you just
realized he’s stopping and the
only thing you can think of is
what a jerk this guy is.
Then there’s the guy behind
you, pushing his car doggedly
closer because you signaled
that you were about to move
into his lane (to avoid the
bloody idiot in front of you)
and he doesn’t want you to be
ahead of him. Then he passes
you and moves over into your
lane, only to slow down so
you have to pass him. The
third time you pass him, you
resent him, and wish that he
would speed off or slow down
or exit or do anything but pass
you again.
He and his buddy are staring
at you at a red light and he is
revving his engine because
they want to race your 1985
Toyota Camry. You are laugh
ing at them and thinking how
silly they are. He is making a
right turn, right now.
Do you know the lady who
is doing everything besides
drive? She is doing her hair,
her nails and her make-up.
She is looking for a tape while
adjusting the volume on the
one playing. She is the one
who gets to the four-way stop
first but has to wait to engage
you in that weird “You go,”
“No, you go,” nonsense.
She is parked in the middle
of the road talking to her friend
on the sidewalk, oblivious to
the line of cars quickly lining
up behind her. She is thinking
about where she is. She is con
templating the meaning oflife
and admiring the sunset. She
is on the phone.
Then, of course, there is the
driver who is fully aware of
the ulcer that he is causing
you, but is coldly indifferent
or perhaps amused. The kind
ofperson who cunningly steals
your spot in the parking lot
even though you were there
first.
This is the girl who’s six
inches behind your bumper
because she’s mad that you
can’t magically make the traf
fic around her disappear.
This is the kind of motorist
who changes lanes six inches
in front of you without even
using a signal. (Granted, in
North Carolina the turn sig
nal is similar to a vestigial
organ.)
Remember the last time you
were in a parking lot near a
traffic light and you patiently
waited for the light to turn
red so you could pull into
traffic, but nobody would let
you out? Those people are
that guy.
Nobody wants to be that
guy, so think about all your
irritating experiences behind
the wheel. Laugh out loud at
the foolishness of the mass of
empty-headed drivers, but ask
your self, do I ever fall into
this category?
Wonder how many times
the simpleton stirring you to
derangement has been think
ing the same appreciative
things and feeling the same
pleasant feelings about you?
Do you notice when people
in a bigger hurry than you
want to get past, get over or
get out? If you do, and can
oblige with relative ease, do
you, or do you think, “I’m
going pretty fast already, they
don’t need to go any faster
than me,” or “I’m in a hurry
too, you jerk?”
Yes, we all do it sometimes,
so when you get in your car,
take a couple breaths before
you put it in gear, relax and be
all that you can be.
Writers
continued from page 4
ily living in New Mexico in
1944.
She meets an American In
dian named Johnny, who
deserts her before the birth of
her children. She goes to live
with his grandmother, and
cross-cultural horizon-widen
ing ensues.
The excerpt Harrow read
takes place in 1964. Johnny
has been exposed to radiation
working at the Los Alamos
nuclear testing facility and is
dying of cancer.
The most accurate way of
characterizing both of these
works-in-progress was “easy-
listening fiction,” both in form
Waltz
and in content. The style was
understated, unvarnished and
professional.
The Great Smokies Writing
Program is intended to bridge
the gap between the growing
community ofwriters in West
ern North Carolina and
UNCA.
The GSWP has collaborated
with the UNCA Creative
Writing program to put on
workshops, such as the one
taught by writer Van Jordan
last spring. These extension
courses are offered by the
UNCA Special Academics
department and may be taken
for credit.
continued from page 5
component of the artistic
spirit, exploring the inspira
tion behind the music and the
inner world of the composer.
The closing is the most
touching scene in the film and
it was my favorite until the
director explained how he had
staged it for impact. The shot
is of Bowles lying in bed with
a young Arab man sitting be
side him singing a lullaby. As
he sings, he tenderly kisses
Bowles on the forehead and
Bowles drifts off to sleep as
the movie ends and the cred
its start to roll. I felt it was a
cheap way to manipulate the
emotions of the audience,
but they knew what they were
doing. It worked and I loved
Correction — The Headwa^
ters Office is in Karpen Hall
240. Reed Wood^s poem is
entitled “American Myth.”
Stephen Kirbach is a UNCA
alumnus.
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•Student notification letters go out for SOARS Grant *9/29
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or 10/6
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