Newspapers / University of North Carolina … / Oct. 25, 2001, edition 1 / Page 6
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Page 6 The Blue Banner October 25,201 Features Non-profit haunted house scares children with low-budget tricks fmy .; f •jU,. i ' ' ■ ’’ ^ V' "4 Jv§^' k rxJl Hsvl-Sp f ~Pm~T- I. 4 1 - ERIK JACOBS/ STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER “Jason” stands awaiting his next group of hapless victims. Sarah-Vance Goodman Features Reporter The time is drawing near once again for ghosts, goblins, spooks and scares, and local haunted houses are opening their doors. The West ern North Carolina Historical So ciety and Chosen Crossroads was obviously on a low budget when they created their haunted house. I brought two of my younger sisters with me in search of a good Halloween fright. Although somewhat obscure be cause of lack of advertising and lighting on the exterior, we spotted the plastic banner with uppercase letters proclaiming, “HAUNTED HOUSE,” beside Hendersonville Highway in South Asheville. The building itself was an ideal setting for an eerie occurrence. From the outside, its frontal columns cre ated a massive domineering appear ance and the run-down interior lent itself to cobwebs and darkness. My sisters and I filed through the door, and entered into an extreme darkness, a darkness that makes you strain to see something when noth ing can be depicted. Suddenly, a dark blue light de scended upon a girl with braids standing amidst a thick haze from a fog machine. She warned us to “stay together, keep contact with the per son in front of you...or else, you may get lost and never come out!” At this point I began to feel like this was either going to be so terri bly cheesy 1 would have to leave right away, or it was going to be frightfully scary. My heart began to pound in anticipation and curios ity. We shuffled into another room. In it, there was a body lying on a massage table in the middle of the room. The being jerked forward, while letting out a disgusting scream. It was one of those things that makes your heart skip a beat but will not cause lack of sleep or night mares. My sister jumped, squeezing my shoulder blades/tightly, while I in wardly laughed at her. Another room was set up as a hospital emergency room scene, where a woman was lying on a stretcher covered with fake blood. A gory-looking monsterman pre tended to cut her to pieces. Good props, a beating heart rest ing on the chest of the heaving woman, and the oozing blood, were used for dramatization. Doors lined the walls, and once the whole group had passed a per son with a hockey mask on, slammed the door and began walk ing methodically towards us. The Michael Myers character con tinued to pursue as my sisters screamed and yelled. I found my heart beating quite furiously, whether it was from be ing totally out of cardiovascular shape or from actually being fright ened I will never know. Still, out of sheer fear, my sisters insisted on getting out of the door quickly, where we were met with a roaring chainsaw held by a maniac who chased us down the ramp onto the concrete drive. I will admit that the Haunted House concluded nicely. I ran out the back door and into the parking lot completely con vinced I would loose my legs if I did not. This last attempt to scare us was the Haunted House’s saving grace. Chosen Crossroads, a non-profit organization raising money for needy families at Christmas, did a good job, considering the means with which they had to work. I would not recommend this house to friends of mine unless they had younger siblings to take along. My sisters seemed to really enjoy the 12-minute tour; the eldest one said, “I almost peed in my pants!” New movies receive mixed reviews Kattan stars in juvenile film Margaret Lee Features Reporter “Corky Romano,” starring “Sat urday Night Live’s” Chris Kattan, proved to be a somewhat funny movie with a somewhat believable plot made for 14 year-olds. Kattan plays Corky Romano, an animal loving assistant veterinar ian, who dreams of owning his own veterinary office. He loves 80s mu sic, smiling and talking in a baby voice to animals. In the almost plotless movie, Corky’s father is wrongly charged with murder, extortion and every other crime committed by a stereo typical mob family. So, Corkyjoins the FBI to save his father from life in prison. His family gives Corky a fake re sume, which includes him being able to speak five languages and a professional marksman. This lands Corky in lots of trouble as he tries to catch a serial killer for the FBI plus attempt to steal the evidence file for his father. Somehow, Corky doesn’t know his family runs the mob. Is he so stupid to actually think a huge house can be bought from a landscaping business? The entire movie barely kept my attention except for a few funny lines spread throughout the movie. Most of the humor seemed forced. COURTESY OF MOVlEWEB.COM Chris Kattan plays Corky Romano in the film. ad Kattan’s character seems over- zealous and dumb. The ending is typical and left me more with a feeling of “thank goodness this movie is over” than “what a funny movie.” Maybe I just don’t get childish humor. Maybeall“SaturdayNight Live” actors, except Chris Farley, are doomed to be in bad movies. Or maybe “Corky Romano” was just a bad movie. Lynch directs complex movie Sachie Godwin Features Reporter “Mulholland Drive,” the latest offering from infamous director David Lynch, is as lush and en veloping as it is completely con founding. Somehow, the hand ful of loose ends at the film’s conclusion add to its charm; they lead one to revisit and replay events of the film, while trying to grasp some understanding of the plot. If you like films that follow predictable narrative structure and conclude with Shakespearean resolution, go see something else. That said, the film is not without a degree of symmetry, and it is not so lyrical that it is devoid of plot or flow. Even with the amazing twists and turns, random Lynchian weirdness, conspiracy theories about the film industry, mul tiple characters and narrators, and of course, good 50s music (Lynch cannot stay away from that familiar stomping ground), the story makes sense enough until the last third of the film. The chronology becomes noth ing short of schizophrenic, with a dizzying series of flashbacks that partially illuminate the gist of the story. It begins to make sense that Lynch’s concept of Blue Banner Correction: In Lynne Fox’s re view of “Strawber ries and Chocolate' in the Oct. 4, 2001 issue of The Blue Banner, the rela tionship between Diego (Jorge Purogorria) and David (Vladimir Cruz) was, in fact, not a homosexual relationship. The characters, Di ego and David, had a close friendship. NFL Football 0pen@12:30 Appetizer Bar Begins at Kickoff Domestic Bottles $1.50 Build Your Own Bloody Mary from Our New Bloody Mary Bar with All of the Fixins! 1PM-5PM 'T'xi d txy » 2’S Day— 2 Domestic Bottles, 2 Well High Balls for the Price of 1 80’s Music $2.50 Cosmo’s and Kamikazee’s Howlin’ Howie Tunatini's^^ 161 Biltmore Ave. 285-9110 c> II FREE APPETIZER BAR!!! Monday Night Football on Big Screen $1.50 Domestics $ 1 Budweiser Bottles DISCO NIGHT f jrldays ^nd. Live Entertainment... 10/26 ~ 9PM-1AM Chris Rhoades on Guitar 10/27 ~ Every Man Jones and the Stick People 10/31 ~ HALLOWEEN PARTY!! Dress up and Get Frealy and Funky! 1S150 Prize for Best Costume! story is based on a sort of esoteric string theory. “The [story] ideas unraveled like a string, and it came to me a way to do it,” Lynch said in an online interview. “Ideas come with many threads. You don’t know what is going to happen [and then] the ideas string themselves into a whole.” No matter how confusing the plot is, the film is absolutely gorgeous. Cin ematographer Peter Demingpaints Los Angeles, Ca. in stunning richness, and uses the juxtaposition between the upper crust of Beverly Hills and the grimy underbelly of downtown dives to mirror the contrasting and some times seemingly unrelated activities of the characters. After leaving the theater, the height ened sense of having been immersed in a dream is more pronounced than usual. The film moves slowly at times; but rather than dragging, it seems to be sleepwalking. There is much less violence than in some of Lynch’s films; although the scenes in which horrifying images flash before the viewer are restrained, they still succeed in chilling you to the core. University Place Apartments 255 Barnard Avenue 828-251-9290 A Aki Eyenmg wit^ Sarah Vowell av\d David Rakoff Join us for an entertaining evening with social observers Sarah Vowell and David Rakoff, both regulars on Public Radio International's This American Life. Friday, October 26 • 8 p.m. UNCA Lipinsky Auditorium Copies of Sarah Vowell and David Rakoff s recent books will be on sale with a book-signing immediately after the event. Student tickets‘$5 Discount to UNCA faculty/staff/alumni/College for Seniors For information and to charge tickets by phone call 828/232-iOOO. General admission tickets available at Malaprop's Bookstore/ Cafe, 57 Haywood St. WWW. unca. edulS tudent_Activitieslcultural.htm i Co-sponsored by the Cultural and Special Events Committee TheUm\'ER5ity of North C.>iROUN.^ ASHEVILLE New Apartments Now Renting Adjacent to UNCA Walk to Class Plenty of Parking ' Designed for students ' 4-student suites ' targe 1,130 square foot apartments ’ Eacti has a private deck or porch ’ Each apartment has 2 full bathrooms ’ Each student has own study space ' Each apartment has energy efficient Hydronic Heating system > Each apartment has 6 inch cellulose insulated walls and thermal glass windows and doors ’ Bert)er carpet is used throughout > Kitchen is complete with Microwave, dishwasher, and frost free refrigerator ' Plenty of closets and storage > High Speed Internet access through the cable TV system is available to each student space ' 2-telephone hookups available to each student space > Laundry facilities on site ‘Walk to Class > Handicap unit available artist's rendering
University of North Carolina at Asheville Student Newspaper
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Oct. 25, 2001, edition 1
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