Page 2
Th(‘ Clarion
Friday, February 18, l)8:i
From New Guinea To
Colombia to Nebraska
By Tim Wilkins
What am I going to do? It’s three
o’clock in the morning and my story was
due yesterday. Maybe I can write about
the time I stole a leaky sailboat out of my
neighbor’s backyard and set sail for Tia-
juana. I probably would have made it if
those smugglers from Colombia hadn’t
run over me.
To think that they didn’t have the
decency to throw me a life preserver
really ticked me off.
Fortunately I was able to grab one of
their stray bales and float to Costa Rica.
But as soon as I hit the beach I was ar-
rested for transporting illegal
substances. It took a lot of lawyers, guns,
and money to get me out of that one.
And what about the time I was kidnap
ped by twenty midget cannibals in
savage New Guinea? They came
thundering out the dust riding
domesticated kangaroos (now that’s
what I call riding small in the saddle).
Luckily, my diminutive size and
Jamaican tan led them to believe that I
might be related to the tribe.
Nah...that story’s too short. Okay, what
about the time I fell asleep while rafting
down the Ogeechee river in rural
Georgia, and woke up an undetermined
time later on a dirty beach somewhere in
Southern California, surrounded by thirty
or so hostile surfers? At first I thought it
was just a warped nightmare, but the
sound of Devo blaring from a ghetto
blaster assured me that I was definitely
in California. (Even my imagination isn’t
twisted enough to subject my sub
conscious to the music of Devo.)
Initially I thought the surfers were go
ing to kidnap and ransom me for a couple
of bottles of Valium. Lucky for me, they
had just robbed the neighborhood drug
store and were too sedated to be much of
a threat.
While they argued about the
philosophical worth of the little sticks
that fudgecicles are attached to, I slipped
around their defenses to the highway.
Once on the highway, I hitched a ride to
Nebraska with a busload of nuns on a
scenic tour of the Southwest. But I guess
that story is a little too ordinary for The
Clarion. Still, I’ve got a truckload of other
stories unique enough to grace this issue.
For instance, there’s the time I was
visiting Iran and accidentally ran over
the Ayatollah Khomeni’s foot with my
moped. Luckily, the Ayatollah and I are
mutual members of the Blue Oyster Cult
Fan’s Club. After he apologized for his
boy’s rough treatment, we both went out
and painted Tehran red. You know,
Khomeni isn’t such a bad fellow once he
takes a snort or two of Jack Daniels.
Hey! Wait a minute! You guys can’t
take me away yet! And don’t put that
straight-jacket on me! Have you ever
tried to write with your teeth? C’mon
guys, I haven’t told them about the time I
turned down dates with Cheryl Ladd, and
Victoria Principal both on the same day!
And what about the time...
Weekend ID Checkin Jones
Gets Several Mixed Reactions
By Jamie Harkey
Are we at Brevard College be
ing treated like incompetents, or
are we being protected from un
wanted trespassers?
Following the college’s deci
sion to take up the ID’s of
students wishing to enter Jones
Dorm during the weekend, many
students brought it to the atten-
tion of the Clarion staff that they
believe they are being treated
like prisoners, while others
believe they are being protected
by the new ruling.
Of the 30 students polled on this
subject, 19 said they liked the
idea of an I.D. check. Those girls
say they feel protected from any
unwanted visitors.
One student, Denese Talley,
said, “I think it is a good idea, but
The Clarion
Editor-In-Chief jon Zillioux
News...Cindy Cox, Jo::athan Matthews, Wanda
Raines, Phil Monte, Genie Glover, Greg
Smart, Jamie Harkey, Tim Wilkins, and
Andy Valli
Sports...Sandi Zeigler, Jeff Shore, Willy Holeman,
and Todd Greeson
Life And Culture Regina Wortman
Photographers Mike Heater, Dorothy Neill
Typographer Jon Zillioux
Advisor IVir, Kgn Chamlee
it should be enforced in all
(female) dorms. But it should be
‘I don’t think the whole dorm
should be punished for the
mistakes of others.’
stopped when the problem
stops.”
Alicia Mikell explained, “I
think is is good; it keeps the peo
ple we don’t want in out.”
However, Ihe other 11 believe
they are being punished for
something they are not responsi
ble for and have no control over.
‘I think it is good; it keeps the
people we don’t want in out.’
WhatDoWe Want
From Our Movies?
By Genie Glover
Brevard officials are mainly concerned about the
values of the movies shown on campus. What are these
values? They include friendship, trust, education, and
faith in one another.
Dean Morris Wray says that violent movies make con
tradictory statements to Brevard’s values.
“It is inconsistent to reinstate values and at the same
time emphasize that which strips values,” stated
Brevard College President Jacob Martinson. “Why pay
for movies of bad values?” asks Martinson.
Brevard needs to justify what movies it chooses to
show here. “In my mind, the question is not whether we
show R-rated movies, but that we choose our movies
carefully.” The Dean also added that the crude, pro
fane, the anti-social, and the vulgar have no place at an
education institution such as Brevard.
“There are so many good movies,” added Dr. Wray,
“surely we can choose some movies for recreational
purposes wjthout their being anti-social.”
Dr. Martinson added, “We have to challenge the
pressures of society. A college is not supposed to reflect
the prevailing culture, but rather it is to challenge it.”
The administration is not completely opposed to
R-rated movies. But the selection process should be
more carefully approached.
Student Council officers do this choosing from current
catalogs of movie listings. As Dean Scarborough pointed
out, it is important for the college to please its audience
since such movies cost a total of $1500 a semester.
Generally, the board does not consider those movies
which they think will not please the campus in general.
Charlotte Breed, the advisor of this board, believes
that, as a general rule, the committee does an excellent
job choosing movies on their small budget.
In the future, though, this board should be more
careful in which movies it chooses, because in some
previous selections, it has chosen those which are poten
tially offensive in one way or another to some students.
Letters to the Editor
Your Contribution Helps
Prevent Heart Disease
“I feel we are being punished
this semester for something that
took place last semester,” added
Todd McDonald. “I feel it is
ridiculous.”
“I don’t think the whole dorm
should be punished for the
mistakes of others,” said Lisa
Andrews. “I feel it is more of a
nuisance than a service.”
Dear Fellow Student:
Statistics show that heart
disease is the nation’s leading
killer. The prevention and cure of
this disease are unknown, but
they may be found through your
contribution.
The Heart Association
designates over half of its budget
for research. Research is the key
to preventing and curing heart
disease; therefore, your con
tribution is important.
Brevard College’s fund-raising
goal is $500. This goal can be
reached by sending your donation
to Campus Chairman Grace
Munro, 208 McLarty-Goodson.
Please send your contribution to
day.
Sincerely,
Jim Whisnant