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Page 2 The Clarion September 23, 1987
Editor Bi^r Orrell
Assistant Editor Bill Meiners
Editorial Page Editor April Woods
Sports Editor Kim Belanger
Advertising Director Jim Barker
Staff Reporters Andrea Henry, Dorsey Waldron, Carlisle Turner,
Jay Schulthess, Dan Perry, Kenny Monteith, Pat Mellon, Mike McGee,
Julia Love, Juan Peanut Kincaid, Kathy Harbin, Heather Conrad, Jay
Carter, Selena Lauterer, Mark Brom, Lee Hegge and Celia Alves.
Faculty Advisor Jock Lauterer
Of Ollie and the Press
by April Woods
“Oliver North for President!”
Who can question the fact that the free press is one of the most power
ful forces initiated and upheld by this country’s constitution?
The first sentence of this article is just one recent example of the
positive influence press coverage can have. Of course oathe other hand,
we have the Gary Hart saga— an example of the possible negative ef
fects of press coverage. ‘
Perhaps the effect a story could have should not be considered.
Perhaps the only question that should be raised is whether or not, for
any reason, does the American public have the RIGHT to know a par
ticular piece of information. If so, does that right preclude all other
Did Congress have the right to know about the Contra aid covert
operation? Does Oliver North owe his allegiance to his country or to his
superiors? What if those allegiances conflict? Does the press owe its
allegiance to the government that upholds its rights, or to the people
whose spirit formulates those rights?
If the press does not tell the whole story because of possible negative
political/security ramifications, then the press is being censored. If the
press prints any and all information recklessly, our enemies could take
over and create real censorship.
Saying that what the media informs the public could, in theory,
destroy the freedoms of this nation by indiscreetly exercising those
freedoms is not an overstatement. The average citizen does not have
the time or the resources to investigate on a day-to-day basis what
President Reagan is doing, what the prime ministers of other nations
are doing, or whether or not the garbage barge is still floating around on
the Atlantic Ocean. The average person relies on the press to do this in
vestigating for them.
It is my personal belief that the press has not only a right, but an
obligation, to deliver the truth - as untainted by personal feelings as
possible — regardless of the possible consequences.
This belief is backed by an honor system which does not allow me to
engage in power games using information as a weapon, nor does my
freedom of speech give me the right to maliciously malign the reputa
tion of others.
I feel that if the voting American public is to make sound decisions
regardmg the welfare of this nation, they must first have all pertinent
information in connection with the issue in question.
I think the same idea applies to this campus.
The students need to be fully aware of the structure of the Administra
tion and guidelines and events surrounding these structures before they
can decide whether to take this campus as it is, or to make some positive
The Mellon Patch
Welcome to BC.
I’m your host,
by Pat Mellon
Well, here we are. 1987-1988 Brevard
College. The campus is shining, the birds
are singing, and the students are ready to
sink their academic teeth into the cuisine
I’d like to take this opportunity to
welcome everyone to Brevard. For the
freshmen and new students, my name is
Pat Mellon. I’ll be your guide on this
voyage down the winding road to reality.
Before I start, I’d like to recognize a
group of individuals who fought the
elements, conquered opposing enemy
forces, and triumphed despite discourag
ing odds. Hats off to the Brevard College
Summer School Class of 1987.
Since I am your host, I think we should
get better acquainted. I was born in Tam
pa, Fla., and I live there when I’m not at
Brevard. I’m a Libra, and I enjoy tennis,
candle-light dinners, and water-sports.
But there are some more important things
you should know about me.
First of all, few things impress me. I’m
impressed by artists. All kinds of artists.
Musicians, painters, poets, and, yes,
especially writers. Anyone who can take
nothing and make something out of it gets
my respect and my admiration.
I’m not impressed with how much noise
you can make in the parking-lot in the mid
dle of the night. I’m really happy that
fourteenth beer up in the forest made you
feel like singing, but there’s a relatively
good chance that I may be sleeping at 3:30
I’m not impressed by how fast your car
goes. If you see me staring at you as you
race by me in the parking lot, I assure you
it’s not because I’m awed by your perfor
mance. And if you ever see me stopped at
a red light, don’t pull up next to me revving
your engine. I don’t think your car is
tough, I don’t want to see if I can get off the
line before you can, and you’re not worth
Lastly, I don’t care what kind it is, I
don’t care how big it is, and I don’t care
which country made it; there’s not a stereo
on this planet that can impress me. So,
there’s no point in playing yours so loud
that everyone on the floor-can hear it.
Chances are nobody likes the song you’re
playing anyway. “
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the
way, we can focus on Brevard.
There’ve been a number of changes here
at Brevard as well as in society.
Burger King construction was com
pleted over the summer and Brevard has
Whoppers. I was there on opening day,
salivating with anticipation. My maiden
Brevard Whopper wasn’t any better than
the ones I’ve had in Hendersonville, but it
was a nice change. Cafeteria-evasive
students can choose Hardee’s, The Col
onel, the Clown, and now the King.
Oliver North replaced Jim Bakker as
America’s favorite “grace under
pressure” personality. Ollie seems to be a
nice guy, but the information gained from
the hearings hardly seems worth the
weeks of Wheel of Fortune I missed.
I was watching television a couple of
days ago and I nearly had a cardiac when I
saw a condom commercial. It seems like
only yesterday when I was buying my first
box of condoms, and here they are on
television...(wait a minute...that was
yesterday.) That’s a lot of fun, huh guys?
C’mon, you’ve done it. You wander
aimlessly around the drugstore keeping
close watch on The Aisle, until there’s no
one else in the area. And then, with speed
and percision, you sweep down the aisle
and grab the first box you see. Then you
stand, smiling, proud of your accomplish
ment, until, of course, you realize you’re
standing in the middle of the store holding
a box of condoms. You don’t want to stick
them under your shirt— (if you’re accused
of shoplifting, it could be
embarrassing)—so you wrap your hand
around the box, making sure all ex
planatory words and diagrams are
covered. The only person in the world who
has to know you’ve purchased prophylac
tics is the cashier. There’s no two ways
about it. You can hide them from your
mother and you can tell your friends you
don’t know how that round mark got on
your wallet, but the cashier’s gonna’ know.
My advice is this —make sure you get a
box with a price tag on it (across-the-store
verbal price checks can be ugly,) and have
your money ready, so you can make a
However, I never thought I’d see
anything quite as ridiculous as Spuds
MacKenzie. Not only is Bud Light’s
Original Party Animal one of the ugliest
dogs I’ve ever seen, but he actually
manages to look bored on his commer
cials. Nonetheless, Spuds is a celebrity,
and he’ll probably make more money this
week than I will in the next three years.
As to the changes here on campus, no
doubt new students have a lot of
questions...(and just because I’m a
sophomore doesn’t mean I have the
answers— I’ve got questions too).
1) Why do I have to have my I.D. to get
into the cafeteria when the person at the
door checking I.D.s knows who I am?
2) If I’m paying so much money to eat in
the cafeteria, why do napkins from
Shoney’s keep showing up?
3) Why do I get parking tickets for park
ing in the parking lot of a campus I pay to
goto? And $5.00 a shot? Where does that
money go? Wouldn’t happen to go toward
payments on Dean Witek’s Porsche now,
4) Why am I paying $25-$30 bucks a book
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