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Page 2 The Clarion March 2, 1988 grLARION Editor Bijfr Orrell Assistant Editor Kim Belanger Associate Editor Kenny Monteith Feature Editor Jeff Turner Editorial Editor April Woods Advertising Director Jim Barker Faculty Advisor Jock Lauterer Staff Reporters....Michelle Atkinson, Sara Booker, Kim Boyle, Joseph Brooks, Sal Cavarretta, Heather Conrad, Chris Flaker, Kathy Harbin, Tom Heckert, Andrea Henry, Tracy Hornbaker, Juan Kincaid, Selena Lauterer, Melissa Lowery, Mike McGee, Pat Mellon, Mitzi Motsinger, Robert Peason, Melanie Ramseur, Jay Schulthess, Elizabeth Scroggin, Elizabeth Stewart, Carlisle Turner, and Chip York. Express yourself by Kenny Monteith How many of you have heard someone complaining about this event or that event here at Brevard College? How many of you and your friends discuss the complaints that you have logically and maturely? How many of you have taken action toward the complaint that you have? To the first question, I say plenty. To the second question, I say some. To the third question, I say none. Students should rally unitedly as a whole to matters which are signifi cant to the student body and/or the college. Any college administration needs input from its student body because the students are what can make or break a college. The students are the commonwealth” of Brevard College and should be concerned with the happenings that go on from day to day. As of the February I7th edition of the Clarion, only two letters to the editor have expressed opinions toward events on the campus. An extend ed high five go to Brian Cloninger and Tamiko Harrison for expressing their concerns about Brevard College. Instead of complaining about the situation to their friends and letting it slide by, these two boldly expressed their opinions on the upkeep of the tennis courts and an editorial on racism, respectively. Isn’t that what a leUer to the editor is, an opinion? Many believe a let ter to the editor is written in the opinion of a whole, and sometimes it is, but usually it is one person expressing his/her gratitude, his/her satisfaction or his/her protest towards an occurence. Whether it be a day student, a faculty member or a boarding student, Brevard College wants to hear your praises or your grumbles. The Clarion staff challenges you to express your opinion, instead of complaining later. Col lege Book Store says: Have a G reat Spring Break! The Mellon Patch What’s a Dukakis anyway? by Pat Mellon Well, it’s 1988. The year of the Olympics. The year we watch the Lakers repeat as NBA champs. And the year we elect a new president. I hate to see Ronnie go, but, hey, rules are rules — two terms max. As we look over the candidates running for office, there are several things we need to keep in mind. First, we have to make sure whoever we elect has a name that sounds good when coupled with “President.” “President Reagan” has a ring to it. This Kemp guy may as well go cash his chips in, ’cause “President Kemp” doesn’t sound right, plus it’s too hard to pronounce the “p” on the end. We can’t have a president with a name that makes us spit when we say it. The next thing we should concern ourselves with is electing a guy who’s got distinguishing verbal projection, so people can impersonate him. I can do a mean Ronald Reagan, and Carter’s easy, and I can even do a halfway decent Nixon, but Ford’s no fun at all. I don’t know how he got elected with a voice like his... Wait a minute... Ford wasn’t elected. You see? You can’t get elected without a good voice. As I was reading this morning’s newspaper, I tried to familiarize myself with some of the other candidates. There’s Vice President George Bush, Reverend Jesse Jackson, Bob Dole... Dole?.,. “Presi dent Dole”... I’m not up on Dole’s cam paign or what he wants to do with the coun try, but I vision new laws involving pineap ple and other canned fruits. Then there’s Dukakis. That’s a bad word, isn’t it? Let’s see...Babbitt and DuPont dropped out... there’s Gephardt, there’s Gore... we can’t have a president named Gore. I’m sure he’s having all sorts of trouble with his campaign anyway. “Vote for Gore” or “Let’s put Gore in the White House” or maybe “Gore in ’88.” Sounds like the sub title for a new Friday The 13th movie. Evangelist Pat Robertson is running and apparently doing well. Needless to say, that worries me. If we put Robertson at the controls, no doubt his preaching-through- the-media format will control our lives, and all sorts of trouble will arise. I haven’t been to church since I was 6, and I’m not ready for a “Mandatory Worship” law. I can’t really figure out why anyone would want to be president in the first place. It doesn’t pay that much, everyone wants to shoot you, and you’re constantly hounded by the press even if your prostate is in a sling. What I really can’t figure out is why there aren’t any statues or memorials of recent presidents in Washington. I think Reagan should have one. He’ll definitely be remembered as one of the Greats — well, one of the Oldest, anyway. The Lincoln Memorial is really nice, and I like the Jefferson Memorial, too. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think the Washington Monument looks anything like George Washington. A while back, everyone was saying that Oliver North should run for president, and a little earlier, Lee lacocca. I don’t know how the North deal would work, but I’m sure lacocca wouldn’t do. The Chrysler president’s only claim to fame, aside from his autobiography, was the purchase of AMC/Jeep when it was suffering. So, as president, if something goes wrong domestically, he buys Zimbabwe. I don’t think that would be too healthy. If anybody’s gonna buy a country, I think Hungary should buy Turkey so everyone can eat. I guess Geraldine Ferraro came to the realization that her place wasn’t in the White House, as she’s opted not to show her lip-stick smile this election. Now, I KNOW a girl couldn’t be president. Ac tually, I don’t really mind a female presi dent, but my editor expects this sort of rub bish out of me. She’s quite the feminist, and she feels as if I’m some sort of threat to her womanhood. She’s a nice person, and she does her job well. In fact, her only flaw is a small speech misfunction that on ly shows up when she’s telling me how darn sexy I am. She slurs her “y” and it sounds a lot like SEXIST, but I know what she means. When I turned 18,1 registered to vote. I didn’t have to; I just did. I had to register for the draft. I have to go to war if we have one, but it’s OK if I don’t vote for the leader of my country. C’mon, cut me some slack. I’m a writer — not a fighter. I assure you, I wouldn’t be all that much help in a war. I think David Letterman should run for president. He’s got all the leadership qualities I’ve come to expect from a presi dent. I don’t think he’s married, so Paul and the band could move in too. Phil Donahue would make a good presi dent. He’s sharp, he’s witty and I like him. Let’s vote for him. It doesn’t really matter who wins. We’re all going to be experiencing some changes. I’m not completely sure how voting takes place, but I’ll take my crayons and find a way to vote for myself. I can make split-second decisions. I can be vetoed by Congress, and I can push The Button with the best of ’em. Let’s put Mellon in the White House,
Brevard College Student Newspaper
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March 2, 1988, edition 1
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