Page 10
ARTS & LIFE
The Clarion \ Dec. 14, 2007
Attempts at Humor
If Richard Branson was NOfT a BHIiionaire
How far we've come
Photo from library archives
A student works on The Clarion using a Linotype machine
in this undated photograph. A linotype machine was an
improvement over the original Guttenberg style printing
press, allowing the operator to “set” an entire line of type
with a keyboard rather than by hand.
HOROSCOPE
Aries: Ask the person next to you in the Superlab to please be
quiet... .1 dare you.
Lucky Color: Paul McCartney Pale
Tauras: Beware! Taco Tuesdays have been replaced in the Caf
by Salmonella Saturdays.
Lucky Color: Michael Vick Jumpsuit Orange
Gemini: If somebody calls asking for “Mike Rotch,” do not be
fooled.
Lucky Color: My crotch
Cancer: A mall Santa will keep you grounded when your ego
gets out of check this week. Watch out for the elves, they’re
small but they’re strong.
Lucky Color: Tobacco spit dried in Santa’s white beard
Leo: You can still be an alcoholic if all you drink is eggnog.
You just have a seasonal disease.
Lucky Color: Disappointed faces of children on Christmas
morning.
Virgo: Don’t worry, be happy. Be happy now, woooo-hooo-
hooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo.
Lucky Color: Red-nosed reindeer
Libra: Santa looks at your Facebook profile. You might need
to erase some things.
Lucky Color: Porcelain
Scorpio: Writing your philosophy paper on “Walker, Texas
Ranger” may not be the best idea. Although the teacher would
be dumb not to acknowledge the role that “fate” plays
whenever somebody fights Walker.
Lucky Color:
Sagittarius: You make Tommy Lee Jones look youthful.
Lucky Color: White- like the color of wedding dress you
shouldn’t get to wear
Capricorn: Having “Buy you a Drank” as the ringtone for
when your mother calls is a little weird.
Lucky Color: Afro-Sheen
Aquarius: When in Rome...
Lucky Color: Two Pink Lines
Pisces: Tex got laid this week. That means things are looking
up for you.
Lucky Color: Incredible Hulk Green
Do you like to draw cartoons? Do you think you're witty enough to write
horoscopes? Can you write sarcastic columns tearing apart the careers of
popular icons? If so, there is still time to sign up for COM 106 for next
semester. Have fun working for The Clarion,and get class credit too!