Page 10 ARTS & LIFE The Clarion \ Dec. 14, 2007 Attempts at Humor If Richard Branson was NOfT a BHIiionaire How far we've come Photo from library archives A student works on The Clarion using a Linotype machine in this undated photograph. A linotype machine was an improvement over the original Guttenberg style printing press, allowing the operator to “set” an entire line of type with a keyboard rather than by hand. HOROSCOPE Aries: Ask the person next to you in the Superlab to please be quiet... .1 dare you. Lucky Color: Paul McCartney Pale Tauras: Beware! Taco Tuesdays have been replaced in the Caf by Salmonella Saturdays. Lucky Color: Michael Vick Jumpsuit Orange Gemini: If somebody calls asking for “Mike Rotch,” do not be fooled. Lucky Color: My crotch Cancer: A mall Santa will keep you grounded when your ego gets out of check this week. Watch out for the elves, they’re small but they’re strong. Lucky Color: Tobacco spit dried in Santa’s white beard Leo: You can still be an alcoholic if all you drink is eggnog. You just have a seasonal disease. Lucky Color: Disappointed faces of children on Christmas morning. Virgo: Don’t worry, be happy. Be happy now, woooo-hooo- hooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo. Lucky Color: Red-nosed reindeer Libra: Santa looks at your Facebook profile. You might need to erase some things. Lucky Color: Porcelain Scorpio: Writing your philosophy paper on “Walker, Texas Ranger” may not be the best idea. Although the teacher would be dumb not to acknowledge the role that “fate” plays whenever somebody fights Walker. Lucky Color: Sagittarius: You make Tommy Lee Jones look youthful. Lucky Color: White- like the color of wedding dress you shouldn’t get to wear Capricorn: Having “Buy you a Drank” as the ringtone for when your mother calls is a little weird. Lucky Color: Afro-Sheen Aquarius: When in Rome... Lucky Color: Two Pink Lines Pisces: Tex got laid this week. That means things are looking up for you. Lucky Color: Incredible Hulk Green Do you like to draw cartoons? Do you think you're witty enough to write horoscopes? Can you write sarcastic columns tearing apart the careers of popular icons? If so, there is still time to sign up for COM 106 for next semester. Have fun working for The Clarion,and get class credit too!

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