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THE LAST FRONTIER
The Clarion August 29, 2008
American Hero
In this week's American
Hero, we at The Clarion
would like to pay homage
to not just one person, but
to an entire system, the
Brevard College Early
Warning System. On
Tuesday afternoon around
4 p.m. students received an
e-mail informing them that
the tornado warning in
effect for Transylvania
County was over. This was
a great piece of
information, especially
considering that there was
no e-mail preceding it informing students that there
actually was a tornado warning. For letting us no that we
were relieved of the danger we did not know we were in
we salute you, Brevard College Early Warning System.
(Side note: it should be acknowledged that the real
Tornado Warning is still in effect until about 9 p.m.
Saturday night, after the end of the BC- UNC-Pembroke
football game.)
Sign of tlie times
It is the role of the church to advise it's members in all areas of their lives. This
church in Young Harris, Georgia apparently gives thoughtful advice to its
parishoners not only in the spiritual realm, but in the social realm as well. Each
week The Clarion will run a photo of an amusing sign. If you have one, please
submit it to clarion@brevard.edu.
Horoscopes
By Joseph Chilton and Sam Winn
Astrolomasters
Aries- A chance encounter with a
person of elfish stature will lead to a
change in your major
Lucky Color- Fujiyama Shrimp Sauce
Taurus- Your name will become an
adjective.
Lucky Color- Hot box haze
Gemini- You will receive a Nobel Prize
for proving that the chicken did, in fact,
come first.
Lucky Color- Neon Cobalt
Cancer- You will accidentally step on a
member of the Chinese Olympic
gymnastics team.
Lucky Color- Red Dawn
Leo- Don’t worry about the Freshman
15 if you have a Brevard College meal
plan. You will not put on weight eating
in Myers Dining Hall. Guaranteed.
Lucky Color- Bug Zapper Blue
Virgo- Don’t worry about making
mistakes. Accidents happen, and
sometimes everything ends up working
out for the better Just look how well
you turned out.
Lucky Color- Hummus
Libra- You will be tempted to pick a
fight with a trash-talking sixth-grader.
Don’t do it. It is a no-win situation.
Lucky Color- Christian Bale’s rage
Scorpio- Your significant other will
leave you for a former Real World cast
member
Lucky Color- Froot Loop milk
Sagittarius- A1 Sharpton will lead a
protest of you after you inadvertently
make an insensitive remark while
competing on The Price is Right.
Lucky Color- Absynth Green
Capricorn- Don’t set lofty academic
goals for yourself this semester It’s
better to aim low and then be surprised
if you pass.
Lucky Color- Boshamer Gym bleacher
purple
Aquarius- You will find Waldo.
Lucky Color- The dead of night
Pisces- You will win a free zamboni ride
in an internet contest.
Lucky color- Ginger