Newspapers / Brevard College Student Newspaper / Sept. 19, 2008, edition 1 / Page 8
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Page 8 THE LAST FRONTIER The Clarion September 19, 2008 American Hero The book of Ecclesiastes tells us that there is nothing new under the sun. Nothing better exemplifies this than the famous quote, "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public." This quote, spoken by this week's American Hero rings true today for several reasons. Although H.L. Mencken was referring to the lunacy of prohibition and the Scopes Monkey Trial, his sentiment transcends timeframes. In a time when it is not necessary to understand what the Bush Doctrine is in order to run for Vice President, as long as you hold popular positions on social issues, we at TJie Clarion feel that Mencken would be just as biting in his satire of today's world as he was towards his own. However, we at The Clarion would like to point out that you can, apparently, go broke by overestimated the taste of the American public (cough AIG, cough Merill Lynch). mn or the time9 Sex permeates the American culture. Everywhere you look advertisers are using bikini babes to sell beer and long-haired men with swimmer's bodies to sell aftershave. Sex sells and influences decisions. But using sex to advertise that a parking space is for handicapped only? Perhaps this rest stop on Highway 74 in Andrews, North Carolina went just a step too far. Horoscopes By The C/aA/o/7Astrolosquad 4ries: If your BAG becomes higher on your IQ, maybe it’s time to sit the next few plays out. Lucky Color: Word of God red Taurus: Voting for somebody because you consider them to be a MILF is not being a responsible citizen. Lucky Color: Economic outlook dark Gemini: You will spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, effectively winning. Forever Lucky Color: Whirled Peas Cancer: Need and ego boost? Go to iiglypeople.com and people-watch. Your self-confidence will go up 110%. Lucky Color: Bad moonshine blindness Leo: Turn up Lil’ Wayne as loud as pos sible, roll your windows down, and drive around campus at three miles per hour Ap parently it’s the cool thing to do these days. Lucky Color: Deep fried Snickers Virgo: It’s cool that you’re trying to be sustainable and all, but you don’t have to sonserve water by drinking out of Kings Creek. You will get parasites and die. Lucky Color: Jabba the Hut Libro: Be our generation’s Che Gue- vara- start a revolt to overthrow the New Facebook. Lucky Color: Rasheed Wallace’s birthmark Scorpio: If you ever think your family is srazy, stop and tell yourself, “Yeah, but at least they aren’t Vince Young.” Lucky Color: RadosavBabic’s beautiful skin Sagittarius: If you see Michael Phelps on the street, don’t run up to him screaming md acting like a crazed fan. Play it cool md tell him how he sucked on SNL. He will respect you much more for “keeping it real.” Lucky Color: Maroon 5 Capricorn: Save money on gas- bring back rollerblading. Lucky Color: Loogie 4quarius: You will become rich beyond your wildest dreams when you invent a solution that allows Tony Romo to hold on to the football. Lucky Color: Chafing Pisces: Looking to transform your life? Change your name to an adverb. Lucky Color: CFG light
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