Newspapers / Brevard College Student Newspaper / Oct. 10, 2008, edition 1 / Page 8
Part of Brevard College Student Newspaper / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
Page 8 THE LAST FRONTIER The Clarion \ October 10, 2008 American Hero CHAftLOTTE Cutting costs and maintaining efficiency is the ultimate goal of every American business, and no organization reaches this goal any better than the Charlotte Bobcats, who laid off 35 of their non-basketball employees last week in an effort to cut costs. Apparently it is easier to just fire a security guard making 10 bucks an hour than to ask Adam Morrison, who has given nothing to the citry of Charlotte other than a killer stache, to take a slight paycut from his $5 million a year sal ary. For showing that no matter how hypocritical and insensi tive an organization can be, they will still be loved if they have a colorful cartoon logo and occassionally are shown on ESPN, we salute you, Charlotte Bobcats, true American Heroes. mn or thb TiMtt l' HOW WILL YOU SPEND ETERNlTt- 5M0KING OR NONSMOKIN Signs like these pepper highways all across the red heart of America, and they are generally meant to serve as a deterrent to those whose life style is leading them towards an afterlife spent in a place that features an abundance of weeping and gnashing of teeth. But this sign misses the mark slightly. Apparently there is a place where you can spend eter nity puffing on blissful nicotene sticks, without having to worry about long term health risks. If that's not an incentive to rob a bank or cheat on your spouse, we don't know what is. Horoscopes by Joseph Chilton and Sam Winn The Clarion Astrolosquad Aries: Want to be a country music star but don’t have the right image? Start dipping. It will be a race against the Dlock to see if you get famous before you get cancer. Lucky Color: Red Man (the product) Taurus: You will say “that’s what she said” one too many times, and some body will end your life with a blunt object. Lucky Color: Red, Red Wine Gemini: You will have great fortune in your relationship soon, as the stock market isn’t the only thing going down this week. Lucky Color: Gator boots Cancer: Work out to Christian music... pump the trinity of legs, arms, and Dhest in order to gain everlasting fit ness. Lucky Color: Bad trip Leo: You know what would be fun? Peyote. All the cool kids are doing it. Lucky Color: Blue and yellow purple pills Virgo: You will have an embarrassing experience when your roommate walks in on you watching Pocahantas with lotion on your desk. Lucky Color: Cocoa Butter Libra: Your grandmother will knock out Kimbo Slice in less than a minute. Lucky Color: Wooden cane brown Scorpio: You are the evil twin. Lucky Color: Blueberry Yum-Yum Sagittarius: An experience at a Phish concert will give you the material for a best selling novel. Lucky Color: Robin Williams’ body tiair Capricorn: You will marry John Cou gar Mellencamp and live happily ever after in a pink house in a small town. Ain’t that America? Lucky Color: Projectile vomit Aquarius: You will be chased and threatened by a psychopathic Eastern European liquor, wine and deli store owner Lucky Color: Sanitarium Pisces: If you can see Russia from your tiouse, use that as an opportimity to gain foreign policy experience. Lucky Color: Bleu
Brevard College Student Newspaper
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Oct. 10, 2008, edition 1
8
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75