Newspapers / The clarion : the … / Feb. 6, 2009, edition 1 / Page 8
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Page 8 THE LAST FRONTIER The Clarion \ February 6, 2009 mn or the time9 “My 88 year old neighbor lady called to verify if we had seen the same thing that she saw. she says she has a new lease on life!!!! ” — Keri H. (Keri), February 1,2009 @ 8:49PM —From the message boards of the Arizona Daily Star immediately following the Super Bowl Everybody knows that Sundays were made for football and hanky- panky. But here in America we like to keep the two separate, as they tend not to mix well. Nothing ruins the mood like the sight of a 350-pound lineman spitting blood through his face mask, and there is definitely no room for romance when cheering for people you have never met to permanently maim other people you have never met. That is why there was such an outrage this week when 30 seconds of porn was spliced into the feed of the Super Bowl for all 80,000 Com cast subscribers in the Tucson area to enjoy. (Good news for female fans: the only nudity was male nudity.)Obligatory cheesy pun: I guess this gives new meaning to the term "hand off." BKlilVAKl) COLIJilGli; CIJLTIJKli; GRID Brevard is... What is your favorite fast food place? If 21, should alcohol be allowed in the village? Do you use tobacco? LeBron or Kobe? Cor j Emory Home of the White Squir rels Burger King Yes No LeBron Nathan Young Stan Jacobsen Stimulating Bojangles Yes Yes Neither Typical small town Subway No No I don't follow spectator sports W Willis Kallay Small town with a lot go ing on Don't eat it Yes I will smoke occasionally Kobe American Hero By now most Americans have seen the tabloid photo of Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps,(who was previously thought to be an aquatic cyborg engineered in a Maryland labratory) engaging in his newest event, the"420 individual bong toke." Our country has experienced a shockwave over the photo- some are enraged by the fact that Phelps used drugs, others are flabbergasted by the possibiUty that Phelpsmay be human after all. But nobody is making Phelps pay for his destroying our mental image of him as America's version of Ivan Drago from Rocky IV. (Side note: that makes two weeks in a row that The Clarion has had an Ivan Drago reference. Rocky fans- you're welcome.)Until now. According to The State newspaper, Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott (not Lett, sorry Cowboys fans) is exploring fiUng criminal charges against Phelps. If convicted, Phelps faces a $570 fine plus court costs. I'm sure he can cover the fine, it's those court costs that will really teach him a lesson. For iporing the fact that your city has the 70th highest murder rate in the country and instead focusing on the real menace to the tranquiUty of your city's streets. The Clarion salutes you, Leon Lott
Feb. 6, 2009, edition 1
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