Newspapers / Brevard College Student Newspaper / Sept. 24, 2010, edition 1 / Page 8
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Page 8 THE LAST FRONTIER The Clarion \ Sept. 24, 2010 Your Horoscope: Aries (March 21-April 19): While cleanliness is next to godliness, reducing your water consumption makes you a better steward of the planet. Lucky Color: Green & Blue Taurus (April 20-i^1ay20): After eating at Fuji >&ma, you’ll enter into an MSG induced trip, accompanied by loss of equilibrium and an out of body experience. Lucky Color: Purple Haze Gemini (i^lay 21-June 20): The incessant repition of movie quotes will either bolster your reputation as a funny person to be around, or make you a social pariah. Lucky Color: Read A Book Cancer (June 21-Juiy 22): You will come to the unfortunate realization that you should’ve left your high-school sweetheart where they belong: in high- school. Lucky Color: Tornado Blue Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Nobody’s going to call you the double-dustpan killer until you kill someone using two dustpans. Lucky Color: Get To Work... Red Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): You know you drank too much when you wake up with a headache, stinky feet and an itchy tongue. Lucky Color: Asprin White Delivered by your astrologically inclined Editor In Chief: John M. Climer Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): Duct tape can fix nearly everything, except missing appendages. Lucky Color: Not Silver Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): That Everybody Loves Raymond marathon might be tempting, but it serves no practical purpose in regard to academia. Lucky Color: Highlighter Yellow Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): As the temperature decreases, the desire to hit the snooze button will increase. Lucky Color: Teal Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): The stars have no advice for you. Check in next week. Lucky Color: Opaque Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): Buying a Halloween pumpkin more than a month in advance, will result in repeated unneccessary expenditures. Lucky Color: Decomposition Green Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20): Fall is upon US. Buy a Snuggle. Lucky Color: AuroMetalSaurous (seriously, that’s a real color) PWXEDoftheWeek Senior Grant Cromie gets the priveledge of being the Clarion’s first PWNED of the Week. Cromie ate it while attempting a creek gap at Black Mountain and luckily his buddy Daniel Caudill was there to catch the carnage on film. When asked about the incident Cromie simply stated, “I came out of it alright, but I can’t say the same for my bike.” Have pictures of aBC student getting PWNED? Send them to clarion@brevard.edu Ame>^ican He/^0 m Mr. Kenneth Kratz, District Attorney of Calumet County, Wisconsin was caught sending "sext" messages to the ex girlfriend of a man he was prosecuting. As Kratz himself said, "Are you the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA ... the riskier the better?" Guess she's not. For abusing his power, trying to coerce the ex-girlfriend of the client he's prosecuting into a love affair, and taking an indefinite medical leave of absence due to uncontrollable horniness, Mr. Kratz is this week's American Hero. WANTED Staff members to write, report, photo graph, draw, edit, and sell advertise ments for the student newspaper, w The Clarion needs your help! As a volunteer staff member, you can • earn academic credit in COM 106 • know about "stuff' before everyone else does • get a cool T-shirt for a job well done • reap financial rewards for serving Brevard College Staff meetings are open to all Fridays at 11:30 a.m. in IVI-G 102
Brevard College Student Newspaper
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Sept. 24, 2010, edition 1
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