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THE LAST FRONTIER
The Clarion \ Oct. 1,2010
Your Horoscope:
Aries (March 21-April 19): Watch
out for the Cracken!!! He’ll scoop you
everytime
Lucky Color: Seaweed
Taurus (April 20-i^1ay20): After devoting
countless hours to Guitar Hero, you’ll be
flabbergasted to discover you still suck
at guitar and aren’t a hero.
Lucky Color: Keep Practicing
Gemini (i^lay 21-June 20): What
mistakenly begins as a hangover, will
quickly become a horrendous case of
food poisoning.
Lucky Color: Immodium Pink
Cancer (June 21-Juiy 22): Your unrivaled
knowledge of pop culture will bring about
a rapid post-graduate demise.
Lucky Color: Depends On You...
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): As the leaves
continue to change color, the driving
capabilities of others will decrease as
the number of Florida license plates
increases.
Unlucky Colors: Gator Orange, Red, Yellow
& Brown
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Lady GaGa’s
underwhelming attempts to enter into
the political arena will end abrubtly when
it’s discovered that she possesses both
male and female reproductive organs.
Lucky Color: You don’t have to ask, when
you can already tell
Delivered by your astrologically inclined Editor
In Chief: John M. Climer
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): While
attempting to provide those around you
with some light, satirical humor, you’ll
realize that some people are incapable of
laughter
Lucky Color: Dianthus
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Obtaining
a leadership role will make a once
enjoyable hobby into a cumbersome
job, accompanied by the repitition of the
letters "f," "m," & "I."
Lucky Color: Tornado Blue
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21):
Campus security will abruptly intervene
in your attempts to carry out some
devilry later this month.
Lucky Color: Camo
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): After
eating a KFC "Double Down" everyday
for a month, you’ll double down with pain
shooting through your arm, chest and
face.
Lucky Color: Heart Attack Purple
Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): The cure
for boredom is a hobby The cure for
loneliness is a good companion. The cure
for AIDS is unknown.
Lucky Color: Trojan Man!
Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20): Pouring
rain, whistling wind and fluctuating
temperatures will temporarily weaken
your immune system.
Lucky Color: AirBorne
PWXEDoftheWeek
Senior Daniel Kreykes tried his luck paddling the Great Falls of the Potomac River outside of
Washington, DC — instructing BC students how not to properly perform an S-Tum. We at The
Clarion staff don’t know much about kayaking, but the boat is probably supposed to be upright.
We thank Kreykes for submitting his own picture for this issue’s “PWNED of the Week.”
Have pictures of aBC student getting PWNED? Send them to clarion@brevard.edu
Ame/^ican He>?o
Pee-wee football coaches and parents
erupted into an all out brawl south of
Texas last week, over two child players
scuffling on the field. The quarrel
climaxed with one team's coach sucker-
punching an opposing parent in the
back of the head.
One pre-teen player, Justin Robinson,
told CBS News "I still can't believe the
coaches actually did that in front of us,
because that's a bad example for us."
For having more child rearing sense
than the grown men entrusted with
his well-being, and showing maturity
beyond his years, Robinson is this
weeks' American Hero.
On that note, we hope the SAC
opener goes smoother than pee-wee
football in Pearland, Texas.
WANTED
Staff members to write, report, photo
graph, draw, edit, and sell advertise
ments for the student newspaper.
The Clarion needs your help! As a
volunteer staff member, you can
• earn academic credit in COM 106
• get a cool T-shirt for a job well done
• reap financial rewards for serving
Brevard College
Staff meetings are open to all
Fridays at 11:30 a.m.
in IVI-G 102