Newspapers / Brevard College Student Newspaper / Oct. 22, 2010, edition 1 / Page 8
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Page 8 THE LAST FRONTIER The Clarion \ Oct. 22, 2010 Your Horoscope: Aries (March 21-April 19): You’re gonna have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river when you’re living in a van down by the river Lucky Camping Equipment: Sleeping Bag Taurus (April 20-i^1ay20): Discussing the politics of World of Warcraft will result in an epic beating. Lucky Item: You Don’t Have One Gemini (i^lay 21-June 20): Your headphones are too loud when they can be heard from across the classroom. Lucky Purchase: Hearing Aid Cancer (June 21-Juiy 22): Beware the crystal meth tweekers on Halloween. Lucky Habit: Running Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): You can’t be fly like a G6 because that model won’t be released until 2012. Lucky Sound: Silence Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): The Cracken strikes again! You got scooped! Unlucky Topic: Anything Related to Pop Culture Delivered by your astrologically inclined Editor in Chief: John M. Climer Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Rectum? Damn near killed 'em. Lucky Hygienic Product: Toilet Paper Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Studying the life of inmate Charles Bronson will leave you convinced that anarchy is the best medicine. Lucky Travel Destination: Britain Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): Although Jersey Shore is popular, striving to be a Southern Guido still makes you a douche- bag. Unlucky Toiletry: Hair Gel Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): Prepare yourself to see the following this week: a corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles, yo-yo’s, a circus midget, your grandmother and a duck. Lucky Movie: Black Sheep Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20): Reading the Clarion will leave you well informed and altogether better off. Lucky Habit: Cover to Cover Ame>^ican He/?o With less than two weeks until the general election. New York independent gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan is sticking firmly to his party's agenda. McMillan is a self-professed karate expert and represents the "Rent Is Too Damn High" party, whose platform is to freeze rent prices, followed by a reduction of rent in addition to the establishment of a cap on rent prices. For upholding his party's platform with ridiculous antics and publicity stunts and for being the Mr. T of politics, we salute you Mr. McMillan and we agree, "the rent is too damn high." Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): You re gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese. Lucky President: Obama As mid-term general elections near, this Brevard resident is making a statement. Apparently he has had enough of the “change” our country has been experiencing from the current administration and has chosen to voice his opinion with a tramp-stamp for his ride. We at the Clarion are already making our own “Stop Palin 2012” signs. For purchasing information, contact us at clarion@brevard.edu (just kidding). WANTED Staff members to write, report, photo graph, draw, edit, and sell advertise ments for the student newspaper. The Clarion needs your help! As a volunteer staff member, you can • earn academic credit in COM 106 • get a cool T-shirt for a job well done • reap financial rewards for serving Brevard College • know about "stuff' before everyone else does Staff meetings are open to all Fridays at 11:30 a.m. in IVI-G 102
Brevard College Student Newspaper
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Oct. 22, 2010, edition 1
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