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THE LAST FRONTIER
The Clarion \ Oct. 29, 2010
Your Horoecope:
Aries (March 21-April 19): Beware the
real monsters around town on Halloween:
the Brevard police department.
Unlucky Occurance: DUI Check-point
Taurus (April 20-IViay20): Keep in mind,
that person might look good in their
costume, but, it's a costume.
Unlucky Alcohol Related Effect: Beer
Goggles
Gemini (iviay 21-June 20): "Sippin' sizz
up in the ride” will leave you in the drunk
tank for the night.
Unlucky Purchase: Whatever the hell "sizz”
is.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): That person
that really annoys you still won't catch
onto the fact that everytime they speak,
you grimace.
Lucky Character Trait: Patience
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): The fines you've
already received on-campus will pale in
comparison to the ones you get when
your jack'o'lantern ignites your entire
dorm.
Lucky Sound: Rre Alarm
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): That good
looking stranger you meet at the next
social event you attend will get really
pissed when you spill the drink they hand
you, but only because roofies cost money
Lucky For You: Karma
Delivered by your astrologically inclined Editor
in Chief: John M. Climer
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): A
combination of insomnia & a shorter
daylight hours will leave you looking like
the offspring of a crack-head that mated
with a crystal-meth tweeker.
Lucky Sound: Snoring
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): The
combination of coffee and cigarettes will
leave your breath smelling and tasting
like horse poo.
Lucky Hygienic Products: Scope,
Toothpaste, and Crest White Strips
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Yes,
BCE 211 sucks, but you can't graduate
without it.
Lucky Character Trait: Perseverance
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): Never
back down. Unless something that
outweighs you by more than 100 lbs. is
charging.
Lucky Genetic Reflex: Fight or Flight
Aquarius Qan. 21 - Feb. 19): In
attempting to understand the opposite
sex, you'll realize that there's no hope for
either gender in that regard.
Lucky Movie: Sleepless in Seattle
Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20): Lift weights
endlessly, grow a mustache & become a
circus strong man.
Lucky Hormone: Testosterone
Ame/^ican He/^0
Nevada senatorial candidate Sharron
Angle, of the Tea Party, reached an all-
time low this week and managed to do it
in almost record time.
In Angle's 31-second campaign
advertisement, she not only stereotypes
Mexican immigrants but stoops so far as
to make overtly racist assertions about
the activities of Mexicans when they enter
our country. Additionally, Angle throws
some below the belt shots at Harry Reid,
justifies Arizona's racist laws and asserts
that English should be America's national
language.
So for being a bigot and doing it in
"American," we salute you, Mrs. Angle.
WANTED
Staff members to write, report, photo
graph, draw, edit, and sell advertise
ments for the student newspaper.
The Clarion needs your help! As a
volunteer staff member, you can
• earn academic credit in COM 106
• get a cool T-shirt for a job well done
• reap financial rewards for serving
Brevard College
Staff meetings are open to all
Fridays at 11:30 a.m.
in IVI-G 102
Halloween pictorial: Best Jack-o-Lanterns