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Page 8 THE LAST FRONTIER The Clarion \ Nov. 5,2010 Your Horoscope: Aries (March 21-April 19): A combination of scliool pride and body paint will leave you looking like you blue yourself for several weeks. Lucky Hygenic Product: Soap Taurus (April 20-i^1ay20): Beware the Fuji >&ma after-effect; tastes good going down, feels bad exploding out. Lucky OTC Medicine: Immodium Gemini (i^lay 21-June 20): Your sign comes not from the stars, but rather, from a very masculine woman on American Gladiators. Lucky Pop-Culture Catch Phrase: "Gladiators ready?" Cancer (June 21-Juiy 22): A week in bed will leave you caught up on "Lost," catching up on school work and wondering, "what the hell is that smoking thing that eats people in the jungle?" Lucky Item: Trashcan Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): A combination of rain and leaf-litter will result in a bruised tailbone and ego. Lucky Footwear: Boots with Vibram Soles Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Although your astrological sign is the virgin, your personal life in no way reflects this. Lucky Contraceptive: Spermicide Delivered by your astrologically inclined Editor in Chief: John M. Climer Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): Singing the French national anthem at Dugan’s will leave you beaten, battered and still wondering what you were singing. Lucky Country Music Song: Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue by Toby Keith Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): "GET OVER HERE" Lucky Video Game: Mortal Kombat Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Moving off-campus will reduce your amount of time in bed with illnesses and increase your GPA. Lucky Move: Off-Campus Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): Getting your election night coverage via text message will leave you confused and ill informed. Lucky: For You We Covered It! Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): Using the Rain Man to validate an argument during an academic debate is highly unadvised. Lucky Movie: The Hangover Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20): Step in. Get Drunk. Stand out. Go to jail. Unlucky Part of That Phrase: Stand out. 'Jacobsen' from page 3 indicted and charged with drug trafficking. During his bureau career, Jacobsen has also been a hostage negotiator and has worked with the behavioral science unit developing profiles on serial killers and rapists. Jacobsen retired from the FBI after the NASCAR case and opened up a PI agency in south Florida. His accounts included Walt Disney World, Florida Power Corporation, Florida Steel, Smith Barney Brokerage Firm, and the Florida Judicial Qualifications Commission. After five years his company had grown to ten investigators. He was forced to do criminal defense work to keep it going, but he didn’t like it, so he sold the company. Jacobsen then took on the job of security director of Tech Data Corporation, a Fortune 100 company that grossed $20 billion per year As security director, he was responsible for all company security in the US, Europe, South America, and Canada. “I would get a call on Monday and be on a plane the next day to Buenos Aires, Munich, or Warsaw to investigate a theft and assist local police in the investigation,” he said. He would also conduct security surveys of distribution centers. At the age of 59 Jacobsen decided to retire and move to North Carolina, where his wife is originally from. He came to BC in August 2001 and has worked here ever since. He is in charge of safety and risk management, and is the liaison to UGL-Unicco, the company that provides maintenance, housekeeping, and grounds services to BC. “It’s been fun,” says Jacobsen, “and it ain’t over yet.” Ame>^ican He/?o Tuesday night it became clear that Christine O'Donnell did not win her Senate race. However, it seems as though no one mentioned to her that she lost... by around 17 points. Even with the memory of Halloween fresh in the minds of voters and still in the stomachs of many, O'Donnell could not summon up enough witchcraft to pull out a victory. In her opening address of her concession speech O'Donnell says "Be encouraged, we have won! The Delaware political system will never be the same." For giving an apparent victory speech in the wake of her landslide defeat, Christine O'Donnell is this week's American Hero. We at the Clarion would like to add: "If you're not first, you're last." WANTED Staff members to write, report, photo graph, draw, edit, and sell advertise ments for the student newspaper. The Clarion needs your help! As a volunteer staff member, you can • earn academic credit in COM 106 • get a cool T-shirt for a job well done • reap financial rewards for serving Brevard College Staff meetings are open to all Fridays at 11:30 a.m. in IVI-G 102
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