Page 8
THE LAST FRONTIER
The Clarion \ Nov. 12,2010
Your Horoscope:
Aries (March 21-April 19): Starting a
graffiti battle in tlie batliroom stall will
hone your writing skills.
Unlucky Habit: Signing Your Name
Taurus (April 20-i^1ay20): Things you
have in common with Forrest Gump and
Dorothy: magic shoes.
Unfortunate Fact: It’s True
Gemini (i^lay 21-June 20): Take a lesson
from T.I., Lir Wayne and DMX: make a
fortune, then continually get arrested for
stupid shit.
Lucky Refrain: "Let it rock..."
Cancer (June 21-Juiy 22): Saving money
and going green will become painful
when you abstain from using heat until it
snows.
Most Painful When: You Get Out Of The
Shower
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Learn to take a
little constructive criticism or die lonely,
stupid and wishing you’d listened.
Thing to Note: It’s Constructive
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): A night of
unbelievable sex with a total stranger
will leave you with something that Clorox
can’t wash out.
Unfortunately: There’s No Cure
Delivered by your astrologically inclined Editor
in Chief: John M. Climer
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): Running
a little late to class will turn into an
unexcused and unintended absence due
to lack of parking.
Unlucky Option: Snooze Button
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): You’ll gain
unfortunate insight as to why they call it
"Campbell’s Chunky" soup after violently
up-chucking your late night snack.
Lucky Targets: Toilet, Trashcan, Sink or
Shower
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21):
Chugging warm bloody-marys doesn’t
pass as "dinner with drinks."
Unfortunate Truth: You’re An Alcoholic
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): A month
of failures will leave you wondering: why
bother?
Lucky Color: Tornado Blue
Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): Spending
23 hours a day gazing into various types
of screens will leave you looking pale,
pasty and like you have a masturbation
problem.
Habit to Break: Viral Addiction
Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20): For a good
night of rest, combine the following:
cherry soda, vodka and benadryl.
Possible Side Effects: Coma, Cardiac
Arrest, Respiratory Arrest and/or Death
'Pharmaceuticals'
from page 1
in the by-line is rewarded handsomely.
This cyclical system favoring pharmaceutical
companies led to global spending in 2006 to
reach over $643 billion, even as GDP output
slowed in Europe and North America.
The United States draws almost half the total
pharmaceutical sales in the world. In 2008,
Pfizer led the top of the Forbes 500 list and
continues to be the leader in pharmaceutical
sales, research and development.
The largest growing sector of sales is
psychoactive stimulants, or drugs that help
children, and adults, with attention deficit
disorder “Doctors are under enormous pressure
from school systems who deal with unruly kids,”
Anderson said. “The school system is under
pressure from parents who have been taught to
just take a pill and the problem will go away. The
teachers don't care if the kids are drugged out of
their minds, they just want docile, manageable
children. It's a societal problem, and at the end
of the day it's all about money.”
According to Anderson, any approach to
treating patients, other than writing prescriptions,
is “discouraged by the American Medical
Association and state medical boards.” He
practiced straight internal medicine for almost 12
years before becoming fed up with the status quo
and the heavy reliance on pills and partisanship
towards pharmaceutical companies.
Dr Anderson studied at the West Virginia
School of Osteopathic medicine, and continues
to research ways he might treat people without
simply writing a prescription.
AmE/^ICAN HE;^0
To explore the significance of caloric-
reduction weight-loss, Kansas State
University human nutrition professor Mark
Haub kept a balanced diet of Twinkles,
Doritos, Oreos and Hostess Cakes — for
two months.
Despite the amount of junk in his diet.
Daub consumed about 1,800 calories per
day, 800 less than would be recommended
for a man of his size.
In two months' time. Daub had lost a
total of 27 pounds. His bad cholesterol
level had dropped by 20 percent, while
his good cholesterol had increased by
20 percent and his triglyceride level had
dropped an astonishing 39 percent.
So for having the diet every stoner and
12 year-old dreams of and making the
USDA, doctors and mothers nationwide
look like fools, Mark Haub is this week's
American Hero.
THE Clarion
E] Letters Policy
The Clarion welcomes letters to the editor. We reserve the right to edit letters for length or content. We do not
publish anonymous letters or those whose authorship cannot be verified. E-mail: clarion@brevard.edu.
Senior Staff
Editor in Chief John M. Climer
Managing Editor .... Daniel Heyman
Copy Editor David Alexander
Faculty Advisor John B. Padgett
Other Staff
ChantelAzevedo Ashley Fortune
Park Baker Jacob Liske
Karam Boeshaar Alex McCracken
Sarah Bowers Chris Novak
Danielle Burch Daniel Schreiman
Zack Christy Krisma Sellers
Kathleen Crady Patrick Veilleux
John Dorner Caleb Welborn
The Clarion is a student-run college newspaper
produced by student journalists enrolled at Brevard
College. Unsigned editorials represent the collective
opinion of the staff of The Clarion. Other opinions
expressed in this newspaper are those of respective
authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the
faculty, staff or administration of Brevard College.
All correspondence should be mailed to:
The Clarion, Brevard College, One Brevard College
Drive, Brevard, NC 28712, or send E-mail to
clarion@brevard.edu