Newspapers / Brevard College Student Newspaper / April 1, 2011, edition 2 / Page 4
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“Something has gone terribly wrong here,” - Roger Ebert Ramblings of a crazy man Beverly Hills Cop 2 \ IVIay20,1987 WANTED Staff members to write and submit articles on time. Deadline is 5 p.m. on Wednesday, Patrick and Melissa. Neither of you are chosen or special. You are not above the rules. Submitting an article 27 hours past deadline is not "worth a shot.” The Clarion needs your help! As a volunteer staff member, you can • Hang out with Brian and Dan a lot. • Have your physical attractiveness directly correlated to your success. • Endure sexual harassment at the hands of Dave. • IVIake fun of Dave when he goes home with a "spider bite.” How con venient Dave, on our busiest night of the year you happen to be struck ill. I’M NOT BUYING IT! • Get paid less than your white counter part. • Seriously Dave, you better have superpowers or something. • Never sleep on a Thursday again. • Run out of things to type at 6:44 a.m., though by this time just about anything is funny. • Especially that goat. • Dan speculates that it's a Malaysian woman. • Have you guys seen a Snickers lately? I swear they stopped making them. • Shut the hell up, Brian, they still make Snickers. • Oh yeah? Then how come when I asked for a case at Planned Parent hood they looked at me like I was an idiot? • Sarah Bowers, are you reading this? • Make an obscenely long "wanted” list with relatively few "wants.” Cartoon by Karam Boeshaar Artist’s Note: From now on aii comics wiii appear in Arabic. Piease see page 9 for the translation. Responds to Gus “T.T.” Showbiz, though his birth certificate reads “Paul.” He is a very friendly goat. He’s often found frolicking, grazing, or practicing metallurgy. Paul loves crackers and ecstasy. If found, please call (336)345-2708.
Brevard College Student Newspaper
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April 1, 2011, edition 2
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