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The Clarion \ Aprils, 2011
God bless
D^M’^^llvocate
Brian Burgess
Managing Editor
Finding something to complain about is
the closest thing to a tradition atheists have.
Whether it is about someone praying in public,
post-sneeze blessings, or simply talking about
religion in any capacity, atheists seem to jump
at any opportunity they can to be victimized,
oppressed, or generally distraught.
Unfortunately, atheists have given themselves
quite a notorious reputation for being an overly
sensitive mob of contrarians and the stereotype
isn’t exactly far off We (myself included) seem
to have a knee-jerk reaction to anything remotely
religious. I have come to ask myself a question,
however, that puts an end to this: who really
gives a shit?
Considering our position as atheists, what
difference does it make when a Christian blesses
me after sneezing so as to ward otf evil spirits as
the tradition goes? (Yes, that is the purpose of
saying bless you after a sneeze.) I don’t believe
in that. Why should I be offended that someone
does something based on a religion I think is
dead wrong in the first place?
Kids often play a game where they run around
in makeshift capes casting spells on anyone they
find. The children obviously have no true magical
powers, therefore we simply smile and appreciate
that they are blissfully happy in their play. How,
then, should it be any different when a religious
person “casts” their blessings on us? Are we of
US, everyone
little faith afraid it might just be effective?
Of course this is not to be condescending to
the religious; I hold the ever constant position
that I may be just as wrong as the next guy. I
don’t think that we should look at the religious
as ’’those silly kids with their spells”, but rather
as people who simply truly believe in what they
are doing in a way that we don’t.
For example, our SGA president, Lucy
Matthews’ email signature is “Blessings”. It
would be ridiculous of me to assume that by her
sending this email signature to me she is going to
bum my flesh with holy blessings; as an atheist
I believe the only thing she can bum my flesh
with is fire (or acid, I guess). Beyond that though,
I know Lucy is not trying to shove her religion
down my throat. She genuinely believes in the
benefit of God’s blessing, and wants to share
that with the people she works with. This isn’t
malicious, it’s sweet. Perhaps misguided, in my
opinion, but hey, what do I know?
Finding things to complain about is easy.
Atheists shouldn’t settle for easy though. We
often blame “God” for the world’s problems,
but what do we do to fix them? We search for
martyrdom. In the effort to be the best people we
can, without religion telling us to do so, I posit
that atheists take up a bit more responsibility and
a much thicker skin. If we believe the religious
tmly counterproductive, then the burden lies on
us to do our part to make the changes we wish
to see. Rather than being the defeated minorities,
we as atheists should strive to be the small band
of revolutionaries.
How not to end up
in the 'friend zone'
By Jermichael Tanner
Staff Writer
The friend zone is a place that haunts
men and women worldwide, but thankfully
there are ways of avoiding that third wheel’s
paradise.
The friend zone is when you become so
good of friends with someone you considered
a potential partner, that they begin only to
look at you as a friend and nothing more.
Men and women have found their way to this
desolate island, but here are tips to missing
that plane altogether
• State clear and early in the courtship what
exactly your intentions are.
• When the subj ect of “Hanging ouf ’ comes
up, suggest doing things that individuals in
an intimate relationship would do.
• Avoid talks about anyone else that person
could be interested in.
• Talk yourself up so that this person knows
you’re a great catch.
• Make a move before it gets stale. Most
people play the friend with intentions of
getting closer for so long that the person
loses sight of them.
If these steps are followed carefully, you
can avoid becoming the person out gift
shopping with the friend for the significant
other, that you would like to be the significant
other of
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Cartoon by Karam Boeshaar
Editors’note: Dan is rarely late to class, though he does sweat an awful lot Brian’s
panel seems pretty accurate. Karam seems to have embellished Dr Padgett’s
beard quite a bit, don’t get us wrong, it’s an excellent beard. Facial hair on the
rest of the senior staff pales in comparison, but still, Padgett is no Grizzly Adams.
Dave is still wondering where his panel is.
E] Letters Policy
The Clarion welcomes letters to the editor. We reserve the right to edit letters for length or content. We do not
publish anonymous letters or those whose authorship cannot be verified. E-mail: clarion@brevard.edu.
THE Clarion
Senior Staff
Editor in Chief Daniel Heyman
IVIanaging Editor .... Brian Burgess
Copy Editor Dave Alexander
Photography Position Open
Faculty Advisor John B. Padgett
Other Staff
Park Baker Alex McCracken
Patrick Veilleux Thea Bader
Jermichael Tanner Jordan lager
Scott McCormick Melissa Sullebarger
Sarah Bowers Karam Boeshaar
Unsigned editorials represent the collective
opinion of the staff of^ The Clarion. Other
opinions expressed in this newspaper are
those of respective authors and do not
necessarily reflect the opinions of the
faculty, staff or administration of Brevard
College.
www.brevard.edu/clarion