Surviving a Straight Roommate
So, you're gay and living on campus.
In my years of working on college cam
puses, I've talked with many gay students
concerned about living with a straight
roommate. Listed below are some commonly-
asked questions followed by my "words of
wisdom."
1. Should I tell my roommate/suite-
mates that I am gay?
I'm a strong believer that one should
not get into the "Hi, my name is and
I'm gay" syndrome. Why? Mainly because
"timing" is extremely important when dis
cussing one's sexuality. If someone gets
to know you as an individual and a friend
first, they may not respond quite so
negatively, if they respond badly at all,
to your revelation. Hopefully, they will
think, "Gee, I knew before they told
me about their sexuality; why should it
matter now?" Remember, there's a time and
a place for everything.
If you do tell them, you may find that
they are extremly inquisitive: Why? How?
and, my all time favorite. What do you do?
Answer openly. These are steps toward
destroying myths and defusing homophobia.
It's also a step toward understanding.
2. ll/hat should I say when someone asks
me if I’m gay?
Your choices are: Yes, No, Maybe, and
What's it to you, bucko? Seriously, this
is a difficult question. Play it by ear.
Some famous, "earth shattering" responses
that you may want to consider are: Why do
you ask? and Would it make a difference
if I were gay? Once again, timing is
important.
3. Should I tell my R.A.?
Tell your Resident Assistant only if
you feel comfortable with her or him. You
and you alone know if your RA can handle
discussing gay issues. However, please
temember that you have an Area Director
'^ho is trained to be supportive.
4. Should I join the CGLA?
Myth #1 is that the CGLA is only for
politically active gay people. CGLA has
many components, including being a "sup
port mechanism" for the Carolina gay com
munity. The least you can do is drop by,
visit, and see for yourself if it's for
you.
5. I can't find anyone else who's gay.
Where do I go?
Give it time. Gay folks may not be
constantly knocking at your door, but in
time you'll develop your own gay network.
CGLA might be a resource too.
6. I'm in love with my roommate. What
should I do?
How many times have I heard this? Yes,
your roommate could be gay, but she or he
could also not be gay or not in love with
you! Please remember that you supposedly
have a friendship going; don't put it in
jeopardy out of your own selfishness.
Some things to remember:
• Take what I've said with a grain of
salt. All gay people are individuals, and
only you know what's best for you.
• Talk with other gay people. They may
(and probably will) have different
responses to these questions. Find out
their experiences. It will also help you
to relax and feel comfortable with
yourself.
• Once you begin to "come out," you
must be ready to accept the consequences
of your openness. These consequences will
initially be both positive and negative.
Only you know when the time is right for
you to make the decisions that will
ultimately affect you.
-Vernon A. Wall, Area Director
Hinton James Residence College
Harvey Milk’s Killer Commits Suicide
Convicted murdered Dan White committed
Suicide in his San Francisco home on
^ct, 21. He died of carbon monoxide
poisoning from the exhaust of his car. He
39 years old. A note taped to his
'windshield read: "I knew you were going to
^Ind me this way. Sorry you had to find
in this condition. Sorry for any
Inconvenience."
White was released from prison in
'January of 1984 and, after serving parole
In southern California, returned to the
I*lue-collar Sunset District of San
I’^ancisco in January of this year. He
Rtew a beard, dyed his hair, and lived
Under an assumed name. He had been
advised not to return to the Bay Area, and
apparently remained at home.
When he was released. White had served
almost five years of a seven and a half
year sentence for voluntary manslaughter
in the shooting deaths of San Francisco
Mayor George Moscone and openly gay Super
visor Harvey Milk. IThite shot the two to
death on Nov. 27, 1978 in a fit of anger
at not being reappointed to his position
on the city Board of Supervisors. ,
The deaths of the two officials were
mourned by the entire city; 40,000 peopTe
(see HARVEY MILK on page 10)
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