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Ink ^HH^^HHIIiiil^^^^^^^lHIHi^^^^^^^^HHI^BBaHlllHili^^^^^^^^^^HHHilllllliHlii^H^HHII^^^^^^^I September 17^1^
Hey...Dudes, Are You Brothas Brothers??
Don’t you hate when someone asks
Point After Touchdown
ByChrisLBrown
you that? I do. Not because my home-
boy is ignorant or anything like that,
but 1 resent the fact that certain people
refuse to see a difference in other, eth
nically diverse, people. Here’s an
example: I was a camp counselor at
Camp Sea Gull, a rather quaint retreat
on the North Carolina coast with pur
pose in being there as to try to provide
a positive image of a black male early
in these kids’ lives (before it’s too late,
youknowwhati’msayin’?!!). Anyway, if
I had not a dollar, not a dime, not a
nickel, but a penny for every time that
someone asked me: “Are you and
Danyl (one of the other black counsel
ors) brothers?”, 1 wouldn’t be writing
Point After Touchdown, 1 would be
watching my newly-acquired kicker
boot them for my recently-purchased
professional football team (did you get
all of thaL’)!
One of my best friends here at
(Molina, Space, and I have been coun
selors for the Campus Y’s Freshman
Camp ever since our sophomore year,
and each year, someone asks me if we
are brothers, or tells me that we look
alike, or calls me by his exclusive no
menclature. Comparing us is like
comparing a black Ralph Macchio(me)
to an intelligent, less mucked-up Mike
Tyson (Space). Yeah, sure, I can see
how someone could make that mis
take.
Seriously, 1 have an idea. Since we
all seem to look alike, why don’t we
take advantage of if!! We can rule this
mugg! For instance, we can do some
Strategic Course Switching. This ain’t
drop-add all over again, it’s a special
way to capitalize on our...ahem ...
unique physical predicament. You see,
if Black Person A has a class that he or
she must take but isn’t too fond of or
good at, just come to Chris’s Look-
HowYaLike Shop, and I’ll find an
African-American who’s good at that
subject to switch with you! They’ll
never know the diference, right’ Black
Person B will ace the course. Black
Person A will take a course through
the ‘network’ and ace it either for
Black Person B or whomever the trade
works out with [Black Person X!], and
we’ll all win! Then, we can move out
to the job world and to Instantaneous
Executive Switching. It works just like
course switching, but this time Black
Person A seeks out Black Person $, in
a prestigious business position, and
temporarily switches so as to leam all
of the inner workings of the firm.
Then, they switch back and African-
American A interviews with the com
pany and of course gets the green
light. This can also work in profes
sional sports, although I urge you to
take precau tion— I got sacked a couple
of times when I traded places with
Warren Moon. My favorite switch was
with Thurgcxxi Marshall; Sandra Day
O’Connor still hasn’t fully recovered
from when I snapped at her twice and
called her a 'sweaty freak.’ The politi
cal world is dangerous, though you
remember the Marion Berry trauma?
Well, that actually wasn’t Mayor Berry
in that room on the tape, but Fred G.
Danford of Aibequerque, New Mex
ico. A minor slip-up on my part, as far
as character judgement goes. It can be
very rewarding, though—why do you
think I was campaigning for Jesse
Jackson? 1 always wanted to fly in Air
Force One. Other switching ideas I’ve
pondered include African Royalty
Switching (What was Eddie Murphy’s
kingdom in Coming to America
called?), Hollywood Star Switching (ad
mittedly hard, since everybody is taller
than Sherman Hemsley), and Inter
planetary Switching (we probably look
like the Saturnians, too).
Folks, folks, folks! What’s wrong
with this picture? I think people who
think that African-Americans “look
alike” at a higher frequency than any
other cultural group are blind as the
official mammal of Gotham City! So
what can we do about it? I suggest
callin’ somebody’s stuff out, to be
frank. A good friend of mine did this
recently, and I told him that this is the
worst thing you could say to some
one. It strips them of their individual
ity; it informs them of your ignorance
to their uniqueness (and if you are
ignorant, you shouldn’t go around
informing people about it). Believe it
or not, he understood.
A long, long time ago 1 was watch
ing Star Blazers on Channel 50 and
happened across this commercial. It
showed three Asian kkls, just standing
there. Then this ominous voice goes,
“They say we all look alike. But we
dont, do we? WELL’? DO WE?!?” Maybe
we should bring this one back, huh?
j/
MANDELA
IN THE
BLACK
CULTimAL
CENTER!!
Documentary Film About Nelson Mandela
"Mandela: The Man and His Country"
Special Guest— Mthobeli Guma, A South
African Citizen, To Lead Discussion
Session Following The Film
TOPICS OF DISCUSSION:
* How Are Things In South Africa Today?
* Why Black-On-Black Violence In South Africa?
* Reforms By The South African Government-
Genuine, Or A Public Relations Gimmick?
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 1990
6:00 P.M. UNTIL 7:30 P.M.
BCC, CAROLINA STUDENT UNION