Point After Touchdown
By Chris L. Brown
Quick! The Official
Skippin' Guide
Not that I, being an exemplary,
rules-abiding student, know any
thing about skippin’ class from
experience, or anything like that
I know because of...research.
Yeah, that’s it I researched, um,
people’s skippin’ habits and the
reasoning thereof. And, I’m shar
ing it with you, oh privileged
reader. What class was it for? I
don’t know, I missed it too much.
There is a method to getting
away with skippin’, but I must
first ask anyone affiliated with the
University to please cease read
ing this column and move on to
Bilal (if you haven’t already read
it) or something. This is for stu
dents only. Thank You.
Now, we all know that a lec
ture class of 400 is not too likely
ing (sort of like plucking a raisin
out of the sun). Ever observe how
the professors always know who
you are by name right off the bat?
It’s not because of the unique
pronunciation, trust me.
When you skip, it better be for
a bad reason. Yes, a bad one. See,
if you skip for a good reason, like
illness OT temporary insanity, that’s
wasting a class miss, which are
basically excused absences. If you
skip, it better be because your game
of Super Mario Bros. 3 has gone to
a level far beyond that seen by
mere mortals, or because after that
House Party last night (Dorm
style), your legs areon overdancin’
strike and your head is still pump
ing out the bass from Loose Ends
something bad. So, you grab your
& Entertainment
to be a skippin’ challenge; it’s
those small sections at 4:45 in the
afternoon that you’ve got to worry
about Also, for those of us who
are African-American, it’s a lot
more noticeable when we’re miss-
Carolina Week-By-Week (or your
telephone book calendar, if you’re
po’ like me) and mark which class
you’ll skip. You’ve got to keep it
down to one skip per week, and I
suggest a rotational schedule—
skip one class one day, another
class another day, and that last
Mon-Wed-Fri class at the end of
the week.
Dealing with your TAs and
profs? No problem. If it’s some
one who is not too educated on an
inter-ethnic level (catch my
breeze), grab hold of the failsafe
claim: “It has to do with being an
Afirican-American,ma’am.”Ionce
not only got an excused absence
out of this, but a free sandwich at
Hector’s and a coupon redeem
able for a decent grade on my next
quiz. I mean, it’s not a lie— I am
an African-American, and that is
an inherent element in my life, so
the fact that I was in Wollen all
night doin’ my best Jordan imita
tion does allow me to utilize this
logic.
Remember, this is, um, not a
representation of what I do; rather
what- (let me look back and see
what I told you earlier...oh yeah)-
I have researched. By the way, if
your instructor is also black, then
as the Brothas in Atlantic City say,
“You outtaluck!”
Bilal
-ujE last S/KO
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-OMDI
PROMISE; 1$
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Apply Now F^or
1991-1992
CAA Cabinet
Applications available at the Union
Desl, the BCC and the CAA office
Deadline for applications:
Thursday, Feb. 28, 5:00 p.m.
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of
Boogie Down Productions
The Teacher Speaks
His Mind
The Self Proclaimed Metaphysician
and Secretary of Edutainment
Kris Parker
will speak on Tuesday, February 26, 1991
8:00 pm Memorial Hall
No Prerequisite. Admission is Free.
Your Attendance Required For His Lecture
Revolution Of The Mind
Presented by the Current Issues Committee
of the Carolina Union Activities Board