HMMM ... Do Dope Cars Denote Dollars ?
^Woncferbo^ i
When Chris Lamont Brown
graduated, this newspaper, the
Black Ink, lost a very talented
writer. Chris shed valuable in
sight on us with his off-the-wall
remarks that somehow made
sense. Chris Brown will truly be
missed.
Well, now that we’veformally
said our last good-byes, let us
get on to some new business.
There’s a new kid in town
and that kid is ME! I'm taking
over this column and there’s
going to be whole lot of contro
versy in the air. Nonetheless, the
truth will come out...somehow.
Throughout the semester, /
will bring to your attention ideas
that are often thought about but
rarely addressed fully and
openly. It is my hope, that
through debating these issues
among ourselves, we will come
to understand each other more
and realize why, as young black
people, we do the things that we
do.
The articles will containsome
humor—which is intended. How
ever, underneath all the jokes
and sarcastic remarks, there
remains that grain of truth that
we can all relate to.
Oh, by the way, my name is
Wonderboy, guardian of the in
quisitiveness present in all man
kind. The name Wonderboy will
in itself be explained as you read
future issues of the Ink. Keep
thinking.
1 wonder why girls sweat guys
with nicc rides. Considering this
guys, I ask you to put yourselves in
the shoesof a girl, and ladies, just be
your same pretty selves (For those
of you who do not look so hot—just
perpetrate).
Picture this scenario:
Anywhere you go, you are bound
to see a “fat Beamer” with some
dope rims (in layman’s terms, sim
ply a BMW with some nice acces
sories), which complement tires that
show off the effects of an entire
bottle of Armor-All (for each tire).
The BMW undoubtedly has a
monster sound system that is turned
up so loud you can hear it clearly,
though the driver inside can barely
stand it. The windows are dark with
limousine tint and are rolled down
just enough to reveal only the eyes
of the driver. What do you do?
A) Go home
B) Call the cops
C) Let Wonderboy tell you what
to do
If you picked letter “C”, you are
correct. Now let me lay down the
low down. Based on what 1 have
seen girls do, them and their friends
will come from nowhere and sim
ply bombard the BMW. They will
be doing anything from begging to
ride in it or simply ride IT! (You
know what I mean, ladies, ‘fess up!)
Why? The answer is quite
simple. For some strange reason,
girls attribute nice cars to overall
wealth. They figure, “Since this guy
has a nice car, he must undoubtedly
have some money that he can spend
BIUL
1
f •/ • li-
on me.' Hmmmm. This is awful
reasoning, yet oh so typical of to
day’s sisters.
Now let me school you. First of
all, since you are a woman of the
90s, you are all about looks. If this
is the case, you most certainly don’t
want this guy. Think about it. If the
dude looked somewhat appealing,
why would he have his windows
tinted so daiic? On top of that, why
would the windows be rolled down
to where you could only see his
eyes? Now if guys are anything like
girls, trust me, pretty eyes don’t
mean anything.
Secondly, let us take a look at
the economical side of the issue.
Once again, since you are a black
woman of the 90s, you got’sta be
get tin’ paid. As a black woman you
figure this guy must be well-en
dowed with the greenbacks and you
just know that he’ll be more than
willing to spend some on you.
Wrong!!
First of all, you have not taken
time to consider by what means this
guy has gotten the BMW. Now you
say, “Wonderboy, here you go put
ting down our race. You think that
just because a black man has a nice
car he’s got to be doing something
illegal.” Anyway...
Okay, I’ll give you the benefit of
the doubt and say this man obtained
his car by honest means. But in
doing so, you must consider this.
The monthly payments on a BMW
are anything but cheap. Now, un
less this guy has a 36- inch vertical
leap, he’s not going to have much
spending change. What I am saying
is don’t knock a brother just be
cause he drives a Corolla. In fact, it
would be to your advantage to try to
get to know this particular fellow
for the simple fact that his Corolla is
probably paid for. Knowing this,
bells should be ringing in your heai
Why? Using elementary reasoning,
this should tell you that there is
money to be spent on you as op
posed to what would go toward a
big car payment
Besides, everything that glitters
is not always gold. That BMW may
look good on the outside, but could
smell like last year on the inside. On
the other hand, the Corolla may tie
a little banged up on the outside, but
it’s interior attributes allow it to run
like a charm.
In essence, look beyond the
given so that you might appreciate
the outcome. Until next time, keep
thinking.
Peace, Wonderboy
Wonderboy's alter-ego is mild-
mannered John McCann, a sopho
more from Raleigh
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Hair Tips
1. Wash Hair Weekly.
2. Condition With
Mayonnaise Monthly.
3. Cover With Towel in
the Shower.
4. Trim Ends Monthly.
5. Brush Each Night.
6. See Shurli Often.
Shurli McAdoo
HaK.ST'iXIST
110 Starlite Drive
Carrboro, NC
942-1247