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February 18, 1992
I wonder if Mike Tyson really
hit them skins?
You know, every time I turn on
the television 1 see Mike Tyson.
Either he’s beat up somebody or
he’s slapped somebody’s skins.
Well, today is no different Now
Mr. Tyson is being charged with
raping an 18-year-old girl.... excuse
me— an 18-year-old WOMAN
who, 1 might add, was capable of
making rational decisions butchose
to otherwise, but.... we’ll discuss
I have problems with this whole
situation. Let me begin by
addressing that stupid a-- Mike
Mike called me via my Wonder-
Beeper. (I haven’t got my own Bat-
Phonelike Batman. You see, he’s a
white boy so you know they are
going to look out for him. But me
being a black man, I got to use this
beeper and go the nearest pay
phone.) Anyway, Mike called me
and the following transpired:
“Hello, Mike... yeah, this is
Wonderboy. You called me?”
“Yeah, whass’up Wundavoy .
Hey man, I am in some serious
truwle," Mike said.
“Mike, what have you done
now?” I asked.
“Man, I ain’t did nuttin’. This
Ms. B lack America lady said I raped
“Mike, what would make her
come to such a conclusion?”
“Well, after the booty contest,
we went to my hotel room...”
“Did you have intercourse with
her,” I quickly interrupted.
“Have what?" Mike asked
“Did you bone her? Did you
knock them boots?” I explained.
‘X)ohhh! You want to know if I
got them guts,” Mike expressed.
HMMM ... Did Mike Do It?
“For lack of a better word,
Mike... yeah,” 1 responded.
“Well, yeah... I did get them
guts but I didn’t rape her. You see
she came on to me. She was
funnelling wi\h my generals. And
me being a man, I had to drop a load
in her. She was screamin’ but not
‘cause I was rapin’ her. She was
yelling ‘cause it was hurlin’ her.
They don’t call me Iron Mike for
nullin’,” Mike laughed.
“Mike you laugh now but there
will really be a reason to call you
Iron Mike when they put your ugly
a— behind bars for about 63 years.
What in the hell is wrong with you,
man,” I said in anger, realizing that
another brother was going to be
I continued, “Mike sometimes
you act just like a savage.... hey
“What!” Mike asked eagerly.
“You know that white boy
“Yeah. Ain’t he the one killed
them people ‘cause they ate up his
“Hell no, Mike. Dahmer was
a serial killer. He murdered a lot
of folks and dismembered them
and stuff,” I explained to my pea
brained pal. “Anyway, he pleaded
insanity. Now my advice to you
is to do the same thing.”
“Hey lhatjust might work. What
do I need to do to pull this off,”
“Just be yourself Mike. Just be
Despite my advice, they found
Mike guilty. I was crushed My
biggest concern was the question of
whether this woman was telling the
truth or not. Perhaps she did want to
sleep with the former champ in
hopes of getting a little “financial-
aid” for coUege. Maybe Mike was
too much for her to handle. I don’t
What I find most disturbing is
the fact that she knew what kind of
guy Tyson was. I’m sure she knew
of his past womanizing endeavors.
Even if she didn’t, it has been noted
that he was backstage, feeling over
all the contestants.
This lady was 18 years old which
makes her an adult So, for her to
leave with a man of Tyson’s
character and go to his hotel room at
2 o’clock in the morning tells you
that she ain’t nothing but a high-
This leads me to a drastic
If a girl says that a guy raped her,
it’s her word against his and guess
whose has more bearing!
Speaking of rape, I wonder what
y’all brothers and sisters know about
the term itself.
Now, there are a couple of
meanings lo this word. In one sense
I can rape you in that I can take
something that belongs to you.
For example, take a girl with a
hair-weave. If I run behind her and
pull itout of her head, I have “raped”
her—1 have taken something that
belonged to her. (Really, this
probably isn’t rape because it
wasn’t her hair in the first place, but
you get the idea of this meaning.)
The other meaning of rape
centers around the fact that if, for
example, I’m on that homy tip, I
can rape you. This means I want to
hit them skins whether you like it or
With this there are two types of
rape. There is date rape which may
happen with someone you may or
may not know. The usual scenario
arises when a guy takes a girl out to
dinner. The guy’s mentality says, if
he pays for the meal, he expects to
get paid himself.
The other type of sexual rape is
statutory rape which is to have
sexual intercourse with a girl under
the age of consent which varies
state to state from ages 10 to 18.
Now, Webster’s dictionary
defines rape as “theactof physically
forcing a woman to have
I have some real problems with
the fact that it’s always a matter of
“forcing a woman to have sex”.
This seems to exclude gays and
lesbians who could also be attacked
by their partners.
Most importantly, this definition
excludes the fellas. (Guys you know
I couldn’t sell y’all out).
My problem can be easily
summed up with these examples:
•Q: Who do you call when Marsha
Warfield has sex with Bo Jackson?
A: You call the National Enquirer
because this is definitely a hot story.
*Q: Who do you call when Marsha
Warfield has sex with Sherman
Hemsley (aJc.a. George Jefferson)?
A; You call the funeral home and
make arrangements. Don’t you
realize that big b—ch will kill little
I’m sure all the fellas have seen
few big babes who they know would
take them through it.
Do you remember that song by
Hi-Five called “Just Can’t Handle
It?” Do you also remember the verse
that goes, “I was 16, she was 25?”
Now, if that ain’t a mismateh, I
don’t know what is!
But seriously folks, rape is a
very important concern in today’s
society and we are confronted with
it routinely on the campus. Let’s
respect each other and look out for
Fellas don’t force yourself on a
girl. If she wants you to get the
skins , she’ll let you know.
At the same time, ladies, if you
decide to let a fellow get mellow,
don’t cry rape just because you
didn ’ t get what you wan ted out of it.
Often times females put themselves
in the awkward situations that result
inrape. Don’t let it happen to you!
There are some things we can do
to help some of the problems v,
Fellas if you see a honey walk ig
at night by herself, offer her sor:.-
assistance. (Butplease fellas, do t
expect to get the skins just because
you walked her home.)
And girls, don’ty’all try to abo>.
the fellas generosity. If the guy you
asked to escort you home ' is
something to do, you still ha _
another option. Check with the safe
escort service. They’re even
supposed to be using golf carts to
transport you to your homes quickly
Most of you sisters out tticrr
probably won’t take advantage of
these golf carts.
After all, they won’t be a
Wonderboy’s alter-ego is mild
mannered John McCann, a
sophomore from Raleigh
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