HMMM ... Is Digging For Treasure
Really Worth It?
Wonderboy!
I wonder why we don’t see
more black cheerleaders in college
sports?
I mean, it takes an exceptional
athlete to be able to hold those
cheerleaders up with only one
hand...hey, maybe that’s it!
Perhaps the reason black
females don’t make good
cheerleaders is because they are too
thick. Granted, those male
cheerleaders are super-strong but
we must also realize that those
particular cheerleaders have not
been eating neckbones and turnip
greens all their lives either. The
sisters are absolute specimens.
They’d make better power forwards
than pom-pom shakers.
But what about the brothers? I
thought long and hard as to why
we don’t see many black men on the
sidelines. As much as I hate to say
it, I came to the conclusion that..
the black man is just too homy!
Realizing this I thought back to
my past columns. In this
retrospective act I thought of all
the times I had referred to the
sisters as gold diggers. I hale to eat
crow, but I was. . . wr...wr...
wr...wrong!
Sisters, please forgive me. How
could I have been so blind?
The fact is that it is us brothers
who are the real gold diggers. To
make it plain... how can the sisters
be gold diggers when it is they who
have the GOLD MINE?
Now many of you ask, “What
exactly is this gold mine?”
Well let me break it down like I
broke it to a couple of people a
while back.
You see, there is so much talk
of how controlled substances are
taking over the black community.
Many argue that crack is killing
most ofour black youth. Whether it
be from actually using the drug or
getting shot from a drug deal gone
bad, crack’s ominous presence
continues to reign over the black
community.
This is very true, yet crack is not
the controlled substance we should
be worried about
One of the least talked about of
these substances is alcohol, . . oh
my mistake, we’re talking about the
black community... I meant to say,
wine. Brothers and sisters will do
anything to get their hands around
a hot boale of liquid crack which is
known to mostas Cisco. (They ought
to call that junk Crisco because from
what I understand, that mess will
fry your insides like a pork chop.)
But this is not even the most
deadly of controlled substances.
The one thing that has had the
most damaging affect on the black
community is ... BOOTIE!
Knowing this boys and girls,
let’s ask ourselves some questions.
Q:Who has this terrible thing
known as bootie?
A: Women
Q:Does it come in various shapes,
sizes, and RACES?
A: Yes, yes, and HELL YES!
Q: To a man, is there anything more
important than this thing called,
bootie?
A: Are you kidding?
This leads me to say that
women, not men, rule the world.
They are in control simply because
they have the gold mine that men
just love to stick their “picks” in.
This is where the trouble starts.
Because men love the skins so
much they’ll do anything to get it.
Women, being a smart species,
realize this and use it to their
advantage. This is one of the
reasons why brothers be selling that
rock. Women put on that front that
they want money and selling drugs
is an easy way to get it. (How else
would you explain why some black
men in college, with the potential
for greatness, turn to selling drugs?)
I mean, brothers get stupid
when it comes to gettin’ some
bootie. I’ve heard of guys quitting
school so they can get a job to
support their bootie habit Brothers
get so bootie-whipped that if you so
much as look at their babe, they
will cut, shoot, and possibly kill
you! There is no excuse for such
ignorance. I don’t blame the women
at all for her actions. If a man is
willing to be manipulated by a mere
body organ, then let him. (But
ladies, don’t be out there flaunting
it Us guys are just like a Chem 41
experiment .. if we get too hot,
we’re ready to boil over into
something.)
In fact bootie may well be
considered a drug for the simple
fact that it is addicting— VERY
ADDICTING! Just one hit and you
are hooked.
For those brothers who don’t
choose to sell drugs to get the
bootie, the situation doesn ’t get any
better. They go out and rape some
poor innocent girl wearing some
biking shorts and a tank top.
Hmmmmm?
Even if the female willingly
consents to having sex, the black
man is still at odds.
Check this out:
Black Brother X had a beautiful
sexual relationship with Soul Sister
Y. Unfortunately they ran into some
problems which brought an end to
it all. Ten years later Soul Sister Y
finds out Black Brother X was
cheating with her best friend. Now
her ego is destroyed and guess
what... Soul Sister Y cries rape—
ten years later.
Did Black Brother X rape her—
probably not However, being a
female. Soul Sister Y has the
privilege to say so. It’s her word
against his. Better yet, it’s her best
selling novel against his comic book.
(In court, the black male voice gets
no dap!)
And please, don ’ t let Soul Sister
Y be Anglo Saxon Susie. The
situation really gets ugly.
All this is to say, “Fellas, just
say no! ” Sex is a drug and you will
become addicted with one “hit”
Also, realize that females have the
upper-hand in the bootie-business
They can cry rapeor even.. .BABY'
Now many of y’all say, “She
has to take a blood test and all that
to prove the baby is mine.” This is
true. However, realize the anguish
you’ll be going through in the
meantime— whether she’s bluffing
or not. Alll’m saying is that we live
in a very, very cold world and if you
don’t cover your own butt, you will
freeze!
Now don’t get me wrong. Sex
can be a wonderful part of a
relationship but, it should not be the
only part of one. Talk with your
partner about it so that you both
understand where each other is
coming from (no pun intended).
Brothers be careful not to fall
into that “bootie-trap” that ha-:
ruined the lives of so many
promising black men. We saw what
happened to brother Tyson
Whether he did it or not is not the
issue. The problem is that he put
himself in a vulnerable situation
and got burned in the end.
Let us also remember how
Magic Johnson “dunked his balls”
in the wrong goal. . . excuse me
again... goals.
Although too late. Magic
realizes his mistake and is making
it his mission to warn us brothers
about that executioner called AIDS
that is somewhere chillin’ in some
girls gold mine.
Now, go digging if you want to!
Peace Y’all, Wonderboy