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Friday, April 9, 2004
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Page 7
Op/Ed
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The
Piidr
Gardner-Webb University
Box: 5564
Phone: 3533
E-maO: gwupilot@yahoo.com
www.gwupUotcom
editor-in-chief
Sarah Olimb
sports editor
John Olson
photo editor
Scott Holstein
assistant photo editor
Kaylin Bowers
copy editors
Erin Aldridge
Jennifer Menster
staff
Jacob Conley
Sean Hubbard
Katie Main
Jared Smith
Amanda Wood
contributors
Jeff Davis
Jordana Hart
Rachel Jones
Brian Maiers
advisor
,, Bob Carey
The Pilot is the official
Gardner-Webb University
student newspaper. It is
produced by students under
the supervision of the
Department of
communication Studies. .
Gardner-Webb fosters an
atmoepbere in viiich s(;udent jxir-
nalists may r^xnrt on matters of
COTiiCiv interest and Write critically j
about Uiiversity issues, policies and
prsgraniB without fear of reprisal.
At the same time The Pilot
adheres to hi^ standards of
intajrlty and joumaHflfii; iCPnmBibil - .
a li!' >i>. :
ity.
I (
The . Pilot is pnrfuced usinj tte
QuVrfc 'Publishih^^System pro- I
•vidtd tlinxigh a generpup grant^ .
fran Quark, ' Inc'. ' ‘ i '
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jeFF ZOne
a humor column by Jeff Davis
The story of Billy, the freedom-
seeking goat- a.k.a. “Free Billy”
It happened in the blink
of an eye. An un-suspecting
passer-by was stopped at
THE red light in a truck. An
en-slaved goat, tied in the
back of the truck, made a
break for freedom. The goat
chewed through the rope that
boimd him and leapt from the
stopped vehicle. The great
escape occurred on Sat.,
March 20th, and our suspect
has been on the run ever
since. The stories you have
heard are true. There is a goat
on the loose in our communi
ty.
Apparently the goat is a
freedom-seeking, youthful
male goat that may answer to
the name of “Billy.” He is
about 3’4” tall with green
eyes and a mix of white and
black hair. He is believed to
be unarmed and not a threat
to safety unless perhaps you
are a garden plant. The
reward for Billy’s arrest is
currently $50 but may
increase soon. This is an
opportunity to make some
money to go towards that
new tuition increase.
GWU Police Chief Ba-
ah-ah-ah-rry Johnson
attempted to catch the sus
pect using a cast net but
failed. He and many others
have tracked and chased the
fugitive all over our campus.
Chief Johnson said the sus
pect seems to like bananas,
oddly enough. I assume yel
low bananas. Unfortunately
the GWU caf only carries
brown and green bananas so
you will need to make a gro
cery run if you intend to
catch Billy this way.
Johnson suggested a pos
sible bait tactic of a female
goait. I would caution against
Siis method of catching Billy
for several reasons. First,
how do we pick out an attrac- ,
tive,fen>ale goat? I have no
idea whai cl^sifies attractive*
in the goat 'world. I have
never ^en a fashion'
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column for goats. Second,
this could be risky because if
this female gets loose we’ve
doubled the number of fugi
tives on our campus and next
thing you know there is a
family of goats and then
someday goats outnumber
geese and t^e their place on
our annoyance list. Finally,
the female goat bait tactic
may not work because this is
2004 and no one is sure of
Billy’s preference.
Local business owner
Don Francis was the first to
make me aware of the
escapee after he spotted the
goat in the drive-thm of First
Charter and later BB&T. I
think the fugitive planned
some withdrawals and a cash
dash for Canada. I imagine
our friend got word that the
Mexican word for goat is
entree.
Somewhere along the
way Billy got caught in “The
Webb” and has made our
campus his new home. Some
see his story as an inspiration
for them to eat through their
life’s metaphorical ropes, get
off of the stopped truck, and
seek freedom from their
metaphorical enslavement. I
talked to some students who
have seen and tracked Billy.
Sabrina Hulett foimd what
might be his hideout near the
athletic fields. It’s nice to
know Billy supports our ath
letics. Grace Stewart sug
gested the goat could become
our mascot. Replacing the
bulldog with the goat might
not be a bad idea. According
to Scott Holstein this goat is
quick on his feet, so I’m sure
Billy, is w;orthy of athletic
mascot status. I’m working
to track down Billy and get
his story straight from- the
goat’s mouth, then my 50
bucks.
. Contact Jeff Davis at
jwd0228@gardner-web'b.edu
or ^^WW.expageicoirti/ttejeff-
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DERNIER CRI
"latest fashion" by jordana hart
Freedom to choose...style
Okay, guys, you’ve
waited long enough. I’ve
written several articles
focused on women, so
here’s one for you. I realize
that fashion is not a top pri
ority for most of you, or for
most men in general, but
the time has come when
you need to care. Do you
guys realize that most
women, the wonderful girls
of GWU included, mrm
their first impression of you
based on how you dress?
Now you’re listening,
right?
Here’s the good news.
Unlike women, whose style
is often determined by mag
azines and movies, men
have more flexibility and
freedom to choose their
style based on their person
ality and attitudes. Most
likely, women form impres
sions of men based on the
way they look for this very
reason. Therefore, if your
daily-wear consists of
baggy jeans and worn t-
shiits with yellow armpit
stains, what land of impres
sion do you think you’re
really leaving on women?
Expressing your per
sonality in your clothes is
truly, not as difficult as you
might think arid not all that
expensive. More often than
not, men’s clothes are
cheaper than women’s, so
you’re in luck. Based on the
look you want, visit
American Eagle, Hollister,
Abercrombie & Fitch,
Express for Men, Banana
Republic, Gap, Old Navy
and J. Crew.
But what is popular for
men this season? Rainbow
flops are huge. In my opin
ion, when guys pair any
flops with jeans, shorts or
most anything, its a great
look. If you’re not into the
whole flop idea, don’t
woiry. Bowling shoes,
which have been popular
for at least two, years are
still big, so it’s not too lale
to invest in a good pair*.
They’ll pair well with
je^hs, khakis ^ and some
dressier looks, ^ r , i
Denim shorts are mak
ing a surprising comeback
this year. APRIL FOOL’S!
Guys, with so many other
options out there, you have
no reason to ever, ever sport
the denim shorts; I don’t
care how great you think
you look in them. If you
own them, bum them. On
the other hand, khaki shorts
and pants are classic and
trendy, especially cargos.
Always opt for flat fronts,
as pleats are evil (i.e.
unflattering on all people).
And while you’re at it, look
for straight leg pants as
well, which look great on
guys and are popular this
spring. Zip pocket pants are
also trenay, so check those
out.
Upset about loising the
denim shorts? I have good
news. Denim jackets, espe
cially those with a dark -
wash, are quite popular this
season and look fabulous
paired with a colorful polo
or a tight-fitting tee. Stnped
button-down shirts, in fresh
colors look great layered
with a tee and paired with
jeans or khakis; don’t forget
to roll up your sleeves!
As with the springy
trends for women, stripes
and lots of color are all the
rage among men. However,
almough liie 20s and 50s
have inspired most
women’s spring clothing,
men’s clothing has been
inspired by the 70s, so get
your groove on, boys!
In comparison with all
of the exciting things avail
able to women this season,
men’s fashion seems a little
dull. Spice up your look
with a large belt buckle, a
colorful wristband or a
large, bold-faced, thick-
banded watch. Also check
out Kenneth Cole
Reaction’s aviator glasses,
or a knockoff version.
So, guyS, throw out the
denim shorts and stained,
hole-infested tees of old,
don’t get ^left behind and
spring^ into this t season .
expressing who you really ,.
are!
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