November 1. 1996 News Upcoming SACS review nothing to panic about by Melissa Collins SACS review time is upon us, which means that the rumor mill is start ing. Around here, SACS review is syn onymous with panic. But what exactly is SACS review and why is it happen ing? SACS stands for Southern Asso ciation of Colleges and Schools. The purpose of this particular visit is to check on the progress made regarding sugges tions and reconsiderations that had been made previously. This visit will focus primarily on the financial resources of St. Andrews. The financial recommen dation is the only one that remains un settled at this time. i \s ill be u 1.;‘. ^. ■c!', ■ 'r.' mittee visiting on Oct. 30,31 and Nov. 1. They will be responsible for filing a re port to the SACS board in December. St. Andrews will be notified concerning the decision reached by that board in Janu ary. Special preparations are being made to make certain that this visit goes well. Reports on progress made have already been sent to the committee and a self-study report will be made avail able at the time of their visit. Records assessing all departments and areas of study are also being prepared. The im provements made in these areas will be important to the review as well. For students, rumors are a big fac tor surrounding SACS review. In spe”'’ ■ ing with Dean Lawrence Schultz, several of these rumors were addressed. Rumor: St. Andrews is on the verge of losing accreditation. Truth: “Accreditation is not an issue at this time. We are on sanction and they are coming to see what progress has been made. We have another year to improve if they are not satisfied,” Schultz said. Rumor: St. Andrews is weak in academics and there is som'fething wrong with the programs offered. Truth: SACS reviews have con sistently noted the quality, innovations, and benefits of St. Andrews’ academic programs. The main point of th': vi;it i« to give St. Andrews the opportunity to show the progress it has made in meet ing the recommendations. Proof of this progress comes in fund-raising efforts made and enrollment numbers. St. An drews is coming off of the best fund raising effort in college history and that will show the progress that has been made. Because of this, Dean Schultz be lieves that the committee will find the school is in compliance with the recom- _mendations made. He is not certain that we have reached the point of being taken off of sanction, but he is sure that enough progress has been made to show good faith in improving the situation. Sensuous Sandy rules the realm as Queen of the Knights by Ann Wilson If you are a contestant in a beauty contest, it can be every woman's dream. If you are a man (and an athletic coach at that), it can be your dream, too. Once you've put on the stockings, sequins and silk , and once you’ve applied the mascara, eye shadow and pan cake foundation, the old competitive spirit takes over (particularly if you are an athletic coach). The drive to win conquered all on October 18 when five athletic coaches and a student dressed as women for the Queen of the Knight beauty contest, dance and fund-raiser. Sensuous Sandy (Rob Perron), dressed in a white spaghetti-strap chemise, sashayed her (his) way to the crown. Defeated in their bid for Queen of the Knights were Fabulous Frances (Jamie Joss), Luscious Lydia (Ron Simpson), Gorgeous Gloria (Gary Swanson), Deli cious Darla (Rob Conatser) and Ravishing Rita (stu dent Chris Ott). Judges Dennis McCracken, Carl Walters, Ted Maier and Judy Word were assigned the difficult task of selecting the queen. “It was a very hard decision to make,” Word said, “they were all good. But Sensuous Sandy just seemed to have that special something. She was so soft-spo ken, and she has great legs.” Ted Maier also found the role of judge quite chal lenging. “It was incredibly difficult. They were all so beautifiil,” he explained. Maier added that Sensuous Sandy edged out the other contestants because of her poise and presenta tion. “She was coquettish and had the legs of a dancer.” Maier admitted he’s not normally a leg-man. “But that night, I was a leg man.” Maier also like Ravishing Rita and described her as “petite, svelte and graceful.” Because the contest was based on beauty and intelligence, all contestants had to answer several thought-provoking questions. Asked who would be her King of the Knights, Ravishing Rita, on the verge of tears, lamented that it would have been Ron Lievense, but he’s gone. For Gorgeous Gloria, “Have you ever worked at Hooters, and if not, would you consider taking a job there?” The reply, “Since my breast reduction, I am no longer qualified for that kind of position,” lamented Ms. Gloria. Before the Queen of the Knights was crowned, a tie-breaker question was posed to Gorgeous Gloria and Sensuous Sandy. “Name the song that best describes you.” Any Man of Mine was Gorgeous Gloria’s pick. But Sensuous Sandy won the judges over with her choice. Every Time / Think of You, I Touch Myself. Sensuous Sandy said of her win, “It wasn’t one of my highest aspirations, but it was a pleasant surprise.” There was no swimsuit contest. Word said, adding, “And thank goodness for that!” Questioned about the overall attractiveness the contestants possessed while dressed as women. Word said, “There’s very little to be desired there, but they are a great group of guys.” The five contestant put on their sexiest, slinkiest best for a good cause, to help raise funds for the women’s basketball team, the host of the event. Nearly 300 people attended the contest and dance, and the team raised $300. The money will be used toward the purchase of women’s basketball uniforms. Amy Prince, women’s basketball coach, was pleased with the success of the evening and might consider making the Queen of the Knights competition an annual event. m w Ravishing Rita (Chris Ott) is escorted to thye Queen of the Knights competition by Beth Larsen. Photo by Tania Zehr

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