The Real Final Exam Schedule
(or what you want to do during those 2 1/2 hours)
Friday, 8 May
8:00 A M Sleep.
10:30 A M Hey, Jeny Spinger’s having strippers on today!
1 ;30 P.M What’s on Days today?
6:00 PM ECU’s got 10-cent drafts!
Saturday, 9 May
8:00 A M Sleep.
10:30 A M Hey, Batman’s on!
1:30 PM Man, this food bites. Wanna go out?
Monday, 11 May
8:00 A M Sleep,
10:30 A M Sleep (Hey Mondays take awhile to get going)
1:30 PM Sleep (because you want to meet Monday fresh)
6:00 PM . Sleep (Gave up on Monday, try again tomorrow)
Tuesday, 12 May
_ 8:00 A M Sleep (Oops, it’s not Monday)
10:30 A.M.... (Insert your own Jerry Springer Joke here, it’s late
and I’m tired)
1:30 PM. . Pack
6:00 P.M.... Leave, while you still caaaaaaan!
Wednesday, 13 May
8:00 A M Are you insane? What are you still doing
here? Go home. Go on. Now. Leave. Stop
reading this and go back home and thank God
you aren’t in Murfreessboro
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT; This now concludes our test of the Chowan Forum
Weirdness Broadcasting System. Had this been an actual issue of the Chowan Forum,
the Gonzo weirdness you have just read would have been cleverly disguised as news in
an effort to control your mind. Now you know. . . the rest of the story. Good day.
The Chowan Forum’s April Issue will be on the stands
soon!