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North Carolina Wesleyan College, Rocky Mount, North Carolina 27804
FIRST PERSON
December 19, 2008
Graduating Senior Recalls Obstacles He Overcame
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By Elliot Hansen
This essay is a reflection of an intel
ligent, gifted, and blessed young black
man and his journey through college.
Hopefully it will inspire others who may
or may not be able to relate to some of
the barriers this young man ha.s broken
down and the trials and tribulations
he has overcome to become a scholar.
Greatness does not come to those who
don’t go out and get it. This young man
knew he was destined for Greatness but
was unsure of the path he should travel
and eventually where it would end. He
made it through all these obstacles by
keeping his faith in God and with help
of many individuals, including his par
ents, friends, family, and staff members
of North Carolina Wesleyan College. He
dedicates this writing to all who have
supported him through the hard times
and are still here for the joyous occasion
of his graduation, which is only the
beginning of a long and hard journey
that is still to come. This young man is
me, Elliot Luke Hansen.
First off I will explain how I ended up
here at Wesleyan and what my expecta
tions were. I was recruited as a football
prospect from East Wake High School
in Wendell, North Carolina. My plans
had been to get a football scholarship
at a larger school until my ACL blew
out in my senior year of high school. I
rehabbed and tried to get back to at least
where I had been in the past but I just
wasn’t there and felt I would never be
again. I was still a great athlete and was
confident of my talent, having been a su
perstar athlete in high school even after
the injury. Even though I hadn’t earned a
football scholarship, I was still aspiring
to play college football and go to a
four-year college or university. I would
be the first one out of my immediate
family to gain a bachelors degree and
become a success. I was the youngest
child of six and was the last hope for
something special. My siblings seem
to be happy with just making it but my
parents looked at me differently because
I wanted more and they could see it.
They were willing to do everything they
could to help, the same as they would
for my brothers and sisters. Then came
a visit from the football coach at NCWC
and he was promising me a chance at
Greatness and he told me he saw my
talent and felt I would be a great asset to
the program.
1 showed up for the camp with
hundreds of other players who all felt
the same as me. I felt a bit misled by the
coach because even though my talent
stood out in the mass population I was
not getting the attention I was used to
and deserved. I had gone from being
the superstar to being a mere number
and I felt my individualism being taken
away. I was just another player here
but I knew I was better and so did the
rest of the players. Even though I felt
mistreated by the staff, 1 stayed and did
what they wanted. I played scout team
and whatever other tasks I was given. I
shined and embarrassed starting teams
but still 1 was given no glory and no
playing time. I was embarrassed to be
playing scout and mad that I was better
than those who were in front of me. For
whatever reasons the coaches placed
them there. We all knew it wasn’t talent;
it might have been favoritism. That
is all irrelevant when it comes to this
unfortunate event that took place next.
On a normal night a neighbor from
across the hall asked me to walk with
him and his roommate to Food Lion and
I agreed. I walked to McDonald’s while
they were in the supermarket and then
we began our short walk back. Once we
got to the tennis courts, 1 saw three indi
viduals walking and looking suspicious.
A feeling overcame me that something
was wrong and then I heard' a familiar
and horrifying sound; the cock of a gun
and the bullet going into the chamber
At this point two of the individuals
walked up to my neighbor’s roommate,
who was by then far ahead of us. The
individual that had cocked the gun ran
up to my neighbor I was about twenty
feet from them because I had started in
the other direction after realizing what
was happening. I turned and was about
to take a dash for it, but then I saw my
neighbor who was not getting away and
would probably be shot if 1 ran. So I
stopped; I was also thinking about the
possibUity of a lucky shot that could hit
me in the back, even though it was not
likely. I was confident I could get away
but my neighbor couldn’t and it wasn’t
worth the risk of his life or my own.
I knew the change from my meal
wasn’t worth a life so I looked at the
individual with the gun and calmly told
him to take what he wanted. He took a
few dollars and ran but I saw the fear in
his eyes. Fear makes people do strange
and desperate things but if he would
have asked for the money without a gun
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I would still have given it to him be
cause that was how I was raised. If you
see those in need and you can help, do
it because you have been blessed to be
fortunate enough to have and there are
many less fortunate. These people are
not to be looked down upon but instead
given a helping hand; you will be a bet
ter person for it. The individual with the
gun looked like me and many I know.
This made me be even more grateful for
life and the opportunity that I had been
given to attend college and not have to
be in the streets. 1 was happy that no life
was lost but I was angry at the situation.
Now looking back I feel that I was there
for a rgason and the incident was in
some ways destined. If I wasn’t there,
my neighbor might have been dead. If
my presence there could save a life. I’m
glad I was there and would not change a
thing even if I could. God put me there
for a reason and I was being used for
a noble purpose. God doesn’t put you
in situations that he is not sure you can
overcome. Proof of this is my presence
here now and being a better man from
the experience. I forgive the individual
with the gun, and I’m sorry that he had
to live that unfortunate life that many
of us black men are trapped into, and
hopefully he has overcome the trap and
done something positive with his life. I
prayed for him and hopefully my prayers
were answered.
After that was done with I met an
individual that cared; his name was
Dr Grattan and he was my English
professor He spoke with me about the
event and let me know his door was
open and that other professors did care.
This was monumental because no staff
acted as if they cared except him. Even
the coaches on the football team that I
was on didn’t seem to care. One coach
talked with me to see how I was after
this unfortunate event and I told him I
was okay and I knew that it’s life and
things happen, even to the best of us.
At this point I didn’t know how to feel
and was still angry. I didn’t know how
to express this and I had few friends
but they were there and they were good
friends. Then another unfortunate event
occurred which was the death of one of
my aunts. I was down about her death
but it seemed that the coaches didn’t
care. I was missing practices due to
my depressed and confused state and
then this happened and I had to leave
that Friday for the funeral. 1 was not in
a close relationship with the coaches
and had no way to let them know I had
to leave but I wasn’t thinking about
football right then. The sport I loved was
not my main concern at the time but the
coaches were like “Where is our star
scout player?”
After I returned from home and the
funeral I went to talk with the coach
about missing the game that weekend
and to talk about what’s going on but
once I arrived he was not in his office so
I entered the locker room and saw that
my locker had been emptied and my
stuff that I bought had been washed and
placed with the rest of the extra equip
ment. I feh enraged at this and went to
talk to one of the coaches. When I saw
one of the coaches, I asked him why
my stuff was gone and where it was; he
answered with an attitude that 1 was no
longer on the team because I missed a
game and I just told him to take me to
my stuff so I could leave.
This was a life-changing experience
because my life was football and it was
what I was used to and wanted to do.
I played intramural sports and loved it
because it was for fun and it gave me a
chance to show my skill and let others
know that I was the best at what I do.
This also gave me a chance to blow off
steam because I had gone through a lot
in this first year of college but I made
it and passed most of my classes. Later
I realized that passing most of your
classes wasn’t enough, and that I had to
excel and live up to my potential. I knew
I was intelligent but it seemed that I was
not being pushed or helped to achieve
what I was truly capable of achieving.
Then I realized that I, and not someone
else, had to make these decisions and
that the ball was in my court.
I began to excel in courses. I had begun
to apply myself to my studies more than
ever but another road blotk was about to
present itself to me. First, my best friend
had a falling out with his mother, who was
sick with cancer and she kicked him out.
He moved somewhere and I didn’t hear
from him for what seemed like a lifetime.
I would pray that he was safe and go to
see his mother, who looked at me as a son
She and his sister both were heart broken
and searching for the man of their house,
my brother and best friend. I knew he was
okay because he was strong but I felt that
something had to be wrong because we
had never gone this long without speaking
and he wasn’t the type to leave his family
and friends worried. I did my studies
and found that some of my professors
showed a disinterest in me and other black
students that were in their classes.
At first I thought I was just imagining
this but one day I entered a class to find
that the teacher had started calling the
roll before 1:00 p.m. when the class
was supposed to start. I ran in before
my name was called and as I sat down
feeling like “That was close but I was on
time.” I had left my calculator and ran to
get it and then back to class; this was the
reason I had cut it so close. The teacher
told me to leave the class. But I was on
time, so I asked if I could at least turn in
my assignment, since I had done it. She
said no. I went from having a 98 average
in the class to having an F because I was
kicked out of class and given all zeros
for the day. This was the first class I
missed but it killed my grade. I decided
I had to work harder and be early even
though I had been mistreated. I talked
with staff members and no one would
help me. I worked to pull the grade up
but ended up with a C or a D in the class.
This is when I realized that there
were people here that didn’t want to see
me succeed; I knew this, but it was not
always this obvious. I knew I had strikes
against me just because I was black and
male. I had been told this my whole life
and knew it was true but I wondered
why someone that I had done nothing to
would try to jeopardize my future when
I tried my hardest and showed no disre
spect. I was not raised to discriminate or
disrespect, I thank my loving parents for
this wisdom and for instilling the love
and understanding of God and of life. I
carried on and kept handling business
and looking for my brother but with no
success. I even had my mother look and
use church resources and our pastor to
help find and him but we didn’t.
The next trial that was put in my path
was really a trial. An individual that 1
once considered a friend committed a
crime and was caught. His next move
was to involve me and try to get his
sentence shortened. His accusations
were preposterous and false but this
was just another test. This test was to
see if I was worthy of the Greatness that
was bestowed upon me. I knew I was,
and I wanted to hate him so much for
falsely accusing me and jeopardizing
my future. First, I was made aware of
these accusations by the dean of students
and he said that a detective wanted to
speak with me. I replied “where is he
because I am not on the run; if he wants
to speak with me I will talk to him.”
The dean called him and he gave me the
detective’s number so we could arrange
a time to speak. I called the detective
several times to arrange the meeting and
left messages when he didn’t answer
Months passed by and still no word
from the detective. I spoke with the dean
during this long period and he said not to
worry because he would get back to me
if he needed to talk. So I didn’t contact
him anymore.
The next thing I knew a knock at
my room disturbed me from my sleep
and my first response was: “Who is this
knocking at my door like they are the
police?” And it was the police. I told
them to let me get dressed and I would
come willingly because I had done
nothing wrong and one cop said “Yeah,
right. You’re just like the rest.” After
getting dressed, I grabbed my Bible for
protection. My father always said if you
need protection pray and grab the first
Bible you see. When the cop said “like
all the rest,” I guess the cop meant black
people but I said nothing and went with
the other officer who was black. While
in the police car I spoke with the officer
He confessed to me that I was accused
by my former classmate but most of the
criminal’s confession was lies and not
credible. I replied that “if he was lying,
what am I doing here? I have a class
in an hour” He agreed and treated me
with respect because he knew I took no
part in the actions that I was accused of.
We arrived at the station and I asked if I
could use my phone to call my parents.
The officer said yes and I used my
cell phone to call home. While speaking
with my father, my phone went dead
and the officer gave me his personal cell
phone to use. The whole time I thinking,
“I’m not supposed to be here,” and the
officer was thinking the same. Even
though I was arrested, I was not treated
like a criminal; he showed me the same
respect I showed him and he could see
in my character that I was innocent. I
handed him the phone and he spoke with
my father I sat reading the Bible and
watched them try to process me in the
computer but it wouldn’t work. This was
a sign from God and not a coincidence;
I was released with no bail and in
time to make it to class. With the help
and support of my parents and God, I
eventually got past this hurdle but it took
over a year and was costly. I had to deal
with going to packed courthouses on
several occasions. I missed one class for
court and we had a test; I explained to
the teacher and gave her documentation.
She looked at me like a criminal without
knowing what had really happened and
stereotyped me as the same as the rest.
She said nothing disrespectful but
I could tell in her actions that she
thought I was guilty. She didn’t want
to help me in class and treated me like
scum; I eventually failed the class for
an unknown reason. I was passing the
class the whole semester with at least a
B- but ended up failing. I took it over
and passed it but her view of me would
come up later in another staff member
that was in her same department. This
teacher looked at me as a hoodlum and
treated me with little respect. I brushed
it off and did what I had to do because
there was no reason to lower myself to
the level of a hater God doesn’t like
ugly and I wouldn’t be ugly because
someone was ugly to me.
Next, my brother’s mother was on her
death bed. I went to visit and wiped the
tears from his sister’s eyes. I walked into
his mother’s room and she asked me to
close the door I did as she asked and sat
with her after giving her small and life
less body a kiss and a hug. The cancer
had eaten her former full and lively body
and her hair was almost all gone. She
was drugged up but could understand
and tell who I was. She called me son
and asked where David was. I told her
I would find him and that he loved her
with all his heart the same as I did and
even more. She told me to succeed and
finish school. I told her I would and she
had been a great mother to us and read
her a prayer my father had given me
when I told him I was going to see her
After seeing her I felt relieved that the
pain was almost over but so heartbroken
that my brother would not be able to see
his mother and make things right before
she was gone.
I attended the funeral and still no
David; I cannot even begin to feel what
he will feel when he finds out. I went
home and hugged my mother tight and
thanked God for her being there. I had
lost one mother but my mother was still
here and as strong as ever My mother
has been one of the most influential and
supportive individuals in my life along
with my father who is always there too.
He has always been in my life as a fa
ther, provider, mentor, and a great man.
He is one of the best men I have ever
met and is the reason I am the man I
am today. My mother is the most loving
person I have encountered and I love her
with all my heart. She has always been
there even now and I am blessed to have
a team of parents this wonderful.
While attending and mourning the
funeral, I missed a class in which there
was another test but I was prepared and
see OBSTACLES on pg 7