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MEL — ROSE — GLEN
JUNE ISSUE
SEAMLESS PLANT
KNITTING NO. 1—2ND SHIFT
“Pappy” Dick Blalock cele
brated his 61st birthday Tuesday.
We hope he has many more.
We are grlad to hear that Agnes
Steed’s sister is improvinp;. She
has been in Duke hospital in Dur
ham for some time.
George Barringer has a new
profession, but he doesn’t like to
talk about it. How about it
George ?
We are glad to have Carl Wag
oner back on second shift for a
month.
Richard Gordon thinks he'll
make a good plumber, at least
he can un-stop the sinks in knit
ting No. 1.
Mr. Cates says if “pappy” Bla
lock could have a hundred birth
days he would be 161 years old.
FINISHING NO. 1
Dewey Moore told Gladys he
wouldn’t give her another silk lot
to plait his hair. If you want to
get a G.I. hair cut for 40c ask
Dewey.
Too bad th doctor told Jones
not to play ball. That sure was
a nice home run he made the other
Saturday.
We sure are glad to have
Esther back with us after having
an operation.
We are sorry that Virginia
Dennis is out sick and hope she
will soon be back.
We are sorry Iva Gashaw and
Helen Cranford are leaving us.
We welcome Sarah Hooper and
Ada Bowers back with us.
We are glad Bill Cumby is en
joying his new country home.
They say the fishing trip was
really a success this time. We
know all the wives were proud.
The fat women in Finishing
Room No. 1 are worried these
days about being out of work and
having to cut down on their meals.
They are afi’aid they will lose
their figure.
You should see Mamie’s new
hair do! All she needs now is her
teeth.
Mildred Elmore is really proud
of her niece, Helen Gayle.
We are glad Irene has at last
got her bath fixtures. She can
now take that bath.
We are sorry to hear that Gar-
nette Bodenheimer’s father has
had a stroke.
LOOPER ROOM NO. 1
SEAMLESS
Mrs. D. V. Denton and Mrs.
Rebecca Mangum spent the week
end in Richmond, Va. with their
sister. They were reported to have
had a fine time.
Mrs. Mildred Ward is horns
from the hospital. She had an
operation and is doing fine. We
hope she will be back with Us
soon.
We are glad to have Mrs. D. V.
Denton back with us! She has
been out for a long time, having
had an operation.
We are very glad to have Doris
Pashall back with us. She has
been on her honeymoon.
Mrs. Maggie Evans is a patient
in the hospital. We sure do miss
her, hope she will soon be back
with us.
KNITTING DEPARTMENT
First Shift
Sorry to hear Paul Justice was
hurt 'in an automobile accident
recently. We hope that you will
soon be back with us.
Dick Pruitt wants to work a
month and fish a month. Always
says he catches pretty ones. Yep!
fishing.
Happy birthday Elsie and many
many more. She’s a big girl now.
We all appreciate the good
music that is played every day,
especially Woodchopper’s Ball and
Boogie Woogie. Keep the music
going and we’ll keep the produc
tion flying.
It's A Joke Son!
(The following is taken from
Charley Jones’ Famous “LAUGH
BOOK,” it is copyright material
and used with the special permissi-
ion of Charley Jones.)
Brutally Frank
They were walking arm and
armi “Darling,” she said coyly,
“which do you like better—a
homely woman with great intel
ligence or a pretty girl without
brains?”
“Honestly, sweet,” he replied,
“I prefer you to either.”
Sage Advice
A maiden lady was having
some trouble with a love affair.
In order that she might know
what to do, she wrote her prob
lem to Dorothy Dix. Here is what
she wrote: “I am getting old and
have a chance to marry but I have
false teeth, an upper and lower
plate. Now my problem is this:
If he finds it out he won’t mary
me. What should I do?”
Dorothy wrote back and said,
If he finds out he won’t marry
him and keep your mouth shut!”
Bound to Happen
Father surprised his 11-year-
old son with a new bike for his
birthday. Mother and father wera
watching proudly as the boy rode
around the block.
On his first circuit, he shouted:
“Look, Mom, no hands!”
Going past the second time he
shouted: “Look, Mom, no teeth!”
Sensitive Soul
Mr. Malloy had been on a
drunken spree the night before
and woke up with a splitting
headache. His cat walked into the
room and Malloy yelled: “For
gosh sakes, quit stomping your
'eet!”
Human Perversity
An elevator man grew weary of
repeated requests for time. So h2
put a clock in the elevator. Now
people constantly ask, “Is your
clock right?”
Shore Was
Proud oceanic traveler: “I’m an
author. I contribute to the At
lantic Monthly.”
Green-faced friend; “Whoops,
that’s nothing. I’m contributing
to the Atlantic daily!”
Reason Enuf
Judge: “You say this woman
shot her husband with his pistol
and at close '-ange?”
Witness: “Yassuh.”
Judge: “Any powder marks on
his body?”
Witness: “Yassuh, dass why she
shot him!”
Acadcmic
Doorman at frat meeting:
“Who’s there?”
Voice: “It is I.”
Doorman: “No school teachers
allowed.”
The Brute!
Mother: “Why are you crying,
son?”
Junior: “Daddy was hanging a
picture on the wall and he drop
ped it on his foot.”
Mother: “But that’s nothing to
cry about. You should laugh.|”
Junior: “I did.”
A synonym is a word used in
place of one you can’t spell.
“The doc says I’ve been work
ing too hard lately—says I need
a little sun and air.”
“But honey, didn’t you tellhim
we can’t afford one yet?”
Butcher: “The farmer who
brought this rooster in said he
was the laziest one in the world.”
Ass’t: “Did he say just how lazy
he was?”
Butcher: “Yes, he said the
rooster had never crowed in his
ALCOHOLIC EPITAPHS
He pushed his car to 85;
To make a tavern deadline.
He failed to round a curve alive.
He made a darn good headline.
Too drunk—he couldn’t stop his
truck.
He slammed on brakes and slid
it;
He never lived to tell the yarn
But a news reporter did it.
He raced his auto with a train.
Our drink - befuddled brother;
They took his remnants to one
morgue—
His picture from another.
He, reeling, passed one car, then
struck
Another. Fame—did he annex
it?
His friends all said he was in luck
He made a front page exit.
life. He just waited for another
one to crow and then he nodded
his head!”
Just Imagine!
The man took the object of his
affections to attend an open air
opera on a beautiful clear and
warm summer evening. During
the first act, he found it neces
sary to excuse himself. He asked
an usher as to where the men’s
room might be found.
“Turn to left and walk down to
the big oak tree and there it is.”
The man did as he was told. In
due time he returned to his seat.
“Is the second act over?” he ask
ed his girl.
“You should know,” she haugh-
ily replied. “You were in it!”
Entirely Negative
Caller: “Did you, ah, give my
card to your mistress?”
Servant: “Yes, sir.”
“What did she say?”
“She told me to tell you, sir,
that she was sorry that she was
not in.”
■‘Ah, indeed! Please tell your
mistress that* I said I was glad I
didn’t call.”
He askfed for burning kisses.
She said in accents cruel—
“I may be a red,- hot mamma.
But I ain’t nobody’s fuel.”
Fair Play
The wife of a farmer sold her
surplus butter to the grocer in a
nearby town.
On one occasion the grocer
said, “Your butter was under
weight last week!”
“Now, fancy that,” said Mrs.
Farmer. “The baby mislaid my
scales that day, so I used the
pound of sugar you sold me.”
CHARLEY’S DEAL
Ever since you first started
reading the Laugh Book your
friends have been borrowing your
copy because they “couldn’t find a
copy on the stands,” and as often
as not forgetting to return it.
Let’s break ’em of that habit along
about now. By fixing them up
with a copy of their own you can
get your own subscription free,
that way both of us will come out
ahead and everyone will be happy.
Here’s the deal: If you are not
now a subscriber, then sell two
of your friends a year’s subscrip
tion to the Laugh Book. Collect
only $1 from each of them. Send
us the $2 with your name and ad
dress and the name and address
of your two friends. We’ll fix all
three of you up with a full year’s
subscription and your own will
thus be free.
Published By
THE JAYHAWK PRESS
210 South Emporia
Wichita (2), Kansas
It’s not the things you do;
It’s what you leave undone,
That makes you feel regretful
At the setting of the sun.
T KILLEi) GEN., LATER
SHARPENED TOOLS TO
CARVE OWN Monument
The state of Pennsylvania, du
ring the years after the War Be
tween the States, decided to erect
a monument to its illustrious sons,
and gave the contract to the own
ers of the Mount Airy granite
quarry for the stone, the Ionic
columns and the heroic statues of
the citizens it was to honor. The
material was produced and the
monument was erected at Gettys
burg, commemorating that fam
ous laattle and rising high above
the battleground.
When most of the figures of
noted Pennsylvania men had been
completed or were nearing com
pletion, a resident of Pennsyl
vania came to North Carolina on
other matters. He knew of the
plans for the monument and vis
ited the quarry more than once.
Taking others to see the work, he
pointed out the various distin
guished men represented. He
pointed to one statue, explaining
that it was of General Reynolds,
of Pennsylvania, and that he had
been killed in the Battle of Get
tysburg.
“I think it is entirely appro
priate,” spoke up one of his
guests, “for Pennsylvania to have
this work done in North Carolina,
in Surry county and here at
Mount Airy. For it was, he con
tinued, “a Surry county and a
Mount Airy man who killed Gen
eral Reynolds. In fact, the man
who is now and has been for some
years in charge of making and
sharpening the tools with which
the statue of General Reynolds
was carved.”
And, as the man who had shot
General Reynolds was pointed out,
as he went about his forge work
ing on tools used in the quarry,
the story was unfolded. It has
been picked out of the blacksmith,
who previously had operated a
blacksmith shop near Dobson, by
friends who knew something of
the incident. The blacksmith and
tool sharpener was so modest that
they had to keep picking and
questioning to get him to relate
what happened.
Sharpshooter Frank Wood and
Private Cox, it developed were in
the thick of the fight at Gettys
burg. In some way they became
separated from their company and
found themselves in a railroad
cut, right in the line of fire. Near
by, they saw a rail fence and
ducked to it for protection. From
this cover they surveyed the
scene. A few hundred yards away
they saw on a big horse a man,
gold braid on his hat, epauletts
on his shoulders, scabbard and
boots with spurs and other ac
coutrements speaking of high
rank. He was standing up in his
stirrups, waving his sword and
shouting to his men.
“Give them hell, boys. Give
them the grape. Give them hell.
Give them the grape.”
Private Cox asked Sharpshoot
er Wood if he couldn’t pick that
man off at that distance. Wood
wasn’t sure, but thought he could.
He estimated the distance, raised
the sights on his musket, took
deliberate aim, and fired. The
man fell from his horse dead.
That was General Reynolds and
Sharpshooter Wood, back home
and a blacksmith for several
years, went with the Mount Airy
granite firm to make and sharp
en tools, and produced the tools
with which the statue of General
Reynolds was cut and chiseled
and formed.
(Information supplied by Caleb
H. Hayes, Mount Airy, N. C.
—E.S.C. Quarterly
THE KEYLESS NUT THAT
LOCKS ITSELF ON
Albert C. Lusher, Waterbury,
Conn., has designed a new nut
which locks itself on. Consisting
of two slightly out-of-phase parts,
it presses against the bolt’s
threads like two separate nuts
forced together on a single bolt.