Newspapers / InterCom (Durham, N.C.) / April 1, 1977, edition 1 / Page 5
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3 Parking To Be Abolished C HA N GIN C RULES—Signs like this one soon will be sprouting like crabgrass as on- campus parking is eliminated. By next fall everyone will be required to park in the Duke Deck to be constructed on the site of the pre sent Duke Gardens. (Photo by Clark Kent) Surgery May Sew Up NCAA T NCAA Title for Duke A revolutionary new program nuking use of the latest surgical techniques promises to enable the Duke Department of Athletics to regain a share of the national basketball limelight, if everything goes according to plan. The program, which was announced today in a press conference held jointly by the university's Divisions of Basketball and Microsurgical Substitution, is a, collaborative effort to lengthen the already long limbs of Duke hoopsters. Dr. Ferdinand Feckless, an orthopaedist said he and his highly-trained staff will insert sections of thigh bones (femurs) and upper arm bones (humeri) donated by loyal and deceased Duke athletic supporters into surgically-created gaps in the same bones of basketball team members. Use of Stilts Wilts "We now know that this kind of surgical operative intervention is feasible with microsurgery,” Feckless said. "The idea of lengthening arms and legs is not new, however. The ancient Chinese invented and used stilts in their gala New Years' celebrations thousands of years before skirmishes began in the Atlantic Coast Conference. "Whether or not these creative people allowed stilts in their basketball competitions is still a matter of conjecture because adequate records have not been maintained," he pointed out. In the surgery, which will take place during summer vacation, one or more eight inch lengths of femur bone, named "hikers," will be added, under anesthesia, to the thighs of the players. One or more six-inch lengths of humerus bones, called "dunkers," will be fitted to extend one or both arms, the University of American Samoa graduate said. Option of Ambidexterity "Athletes who were bom with two left.hands will have the option of exchanging one or both of their hands for right ones," he added. The scientist said ophthal mologists are currently testing the possibility of offering extra eyes to the ballplayers, on their foreheads or even in the rear of their skulls where they would be most useful. An artificial optic nerve would stretch above and between the brain's cerebral hemispheres and exit attached to an eye just above the base of the skull. Feckless denied a suggestion by one reporter present at the press conference that his staff would in essence be creating Frankenstein- like creatures who would give Duke an unfair advantage over their opponents. There will be no parking at the medical center or on West Campus beginning next fall, the Employee Council announced at its meeting this week. The decision was reached .in consultation with the Academic Council and approved by President Terry Sanford. "We carefully discussed all the alternative proposals and this was the only solution we believed would be fair to everyone," said Gloria M. McAuley, Employee Relations representative and chairperson of the Employee Council. James David Barber, chairman of the political science department who proposed a parking system giving priority to faculty and administrators, called for a protest demonstration tonight at 7:30 on the West Campus Quad. "We'll bum our parking stickers," he said. "We'll have a park-in on the Quad. We won't stand for this infringement of our rights." Duck To Finance Duke Deck When on-campus parking is abolished, Duke personnel will not "I don't think there is anjrthing we could do that would give our team an unfair advantage," he said, glancing at the coaching staff. "But that's off the record." Will Require Nerve According to the surgeon, extra lengths of veins, nerves, arteries and lymphatic vessels will have to be "anastomosed" or sewn together so that all the limbs will continue to function properly. Feckless said the operations would not be forced on the players even (Continued on page 4) be forced to abandon their cars, McAuley assured everyone. Duke Gardens will be converted to a 10-story parking garage to be known as the Sarah P. Duke Memorial Parking Deck. All faculty, staff and employees will pay $20 a year for a parking sticker which will allow them to park in the deck, McAuley said. Visitors will be charged an hourly rate. To defray the cost of the transition, the university will auction 3,000 frisbees and a rubber duck found in the lake at Duke Gardens, she added. All are invited to the auction at midnight, Saturday, May 7, in the Gardens. Construction of the parking garage will begin May 9. Increased Bussing Seen as Solution "We realize that the location of the new Duke Deck will not be within a convenient walking distance for everyone," said Harry Gentry, manager of medical center traffic and parking, "so we plan to expand the free Medibus system to cover the whole campus. "Buses wiU run to and from the Duke Deck every five minutes in all directions," he said. "Hop on one and you'll be sure to arrive somewhere soon." The present parking deck near the main entrance to the hospital will be converted to a Fred Astaire dance studio, McAuley said. Employees may apply to Paths for Employee Progress (PEP) for financial assistance in attending dance classes. "We welcome this opportunity to provide additional means for our employees to improve themselves," said Kenneth P. Lineberger Jr., PEP director. \ . V.. r-' ' . iilii ?:5: •'v - s MODERN nMES—One of the operating rooms has been completed in Duke Hospital North. Because only the most up-to-date equipment is being used, the new O.R.'s will be some of the most advanced in the world. The inclusion of the window (right) will save electricity on sunny days. In other r»ews about the new hospital, the color zone system for the building vk^as revealed this week by Wallace E. jarboe, director of logistics for the project, jarboe said each floor would be a separate color zone, and the colors used will irKlude chautreuse, turquoise, mauve, stripes, plaid and polka dot. (Photo by golly!)
InterCom (Durham, N.C.)
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April 1, 1977, edition 1
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