PAGE SIX
MAROON AND GOLD
SATURDAY, MAY 9. 1942
JOLTS AND JARS
John (Publicity Hoe) Pollard
It seems as though we’ll never
cease to marvel at the intelligence
of those wonderful creatures com
monly referred to as "dumb animals ",
For example the horse. There are
thirty horses in a race and 50,000
people go to see it, but put thirty
people in a race and not one horse
would come to see it. (They must
know something! I Animals are con
stantly bettering the records set by
we humans, or you humans. You
probably heard about the rabbit that
had six bunnies and beat the Cana
dian record by a hare. It also seems
that their ingenuity is inexhaustible.
As an example of this we cite the
kangaroo and the opossum who got
together and started raising fur coatr>
with pockets. Animals are great im
itators. We are personally acquaint
ed with a couple of dogs that just
love to imitate photographers. Yeah,
they're always snapping people. But
not all animals are as fortunate as
the above mentioned. We know a
man who realized and attempted to
remedy the situation. One of his
first remedies was to cross the glow
worm with a moth so the moth could
find it's way around in dark closets.
His next remedy wasn't as humane
as the afore-mentioned, in fact it w&s
more of a selfish nature. He crossed
the centipede and the turkey so
everyone would get a drum-stick. Ani
mals are also very witty. For ex
ample: "I've just taken a shine to
your wife", said the stork as he flew
past the negro. But some people ne
ver will understand animals. We
never will forget the girl who asked
to see our crazy cat just because
someone told her we had a silly puss.
WHAT'S NEWS:
Johnny McAfee leaves Tony Pas
tor's ork to join Benny Goodman as
finger and saxist, replacing Art Lon
don and Art Ralston . . . Dinah Shore
is slated for her first movie; the mo
vie will star Bob Hope and Dotty La-
mou'r . . . Ella Fitzgerald will disband
her ork at the conclusion of present
engagements . . . John Kirby and his
ork have signed for a ten week en
gagement at the Copacabana, famed
cafe of the Brazilian capitol—It's the
same place Eddy Duchin played last
year . . . 'Tis rumored that Artie
Shaw will join the Navy some time*
this me th. He has just been reclassi
fied frOm 2-.\ to 1-A . . . Because a
ship carrying a million and a half
pounds of shellac was sunk early m
April, the WPB has cut the produc
tion of records one-third or 70% (De
pending on whether you read Metro-
none or Down Beat! . . . Jimmy Lun-
ceford recently cleaned house and
fired six of his men or as he called
them "prima donnas” . . . Tommy
Dorsey has been signed by the Brown-
Williamson Tobacco Company to
take over th? air time now used by
Red (I dooed iti Skelton ... In a
poll of college editors (and us!> the
Billboard has announced the follow
ing as being the favorite band voca
lists on the nations college campuses
and we give you the first five of each
sex and the band they chirp with:
Helen O'Connell (Jimmy Dorseyi,
Ray Eberle (Glenn Miller'. Frank
Sinatra (Tommy Dorsey), Bob Eberly
(Jimmy Dorsey), Marion Hutton
(Glenn Miller), Ginny Simms (ex-Kay
Kyser), Helen Forrest (Harry James),
Harry Babbitt (Kay Kyser), Peggy
Lee (Benny Goodman), Vaughn Mon
roe (Band Leader).
Did You Know Stuff?
That Kate Smith has raised over
four million dollars for the Red
Cross, or that she gave a command
performance for King George and
Queen Elizabeth at the White House,
or that she is the only radio artist to
be listed among the ten leading
American women by the publication
"American Women"?
That Erskine Hawkins hobbies are
collettmg records and learning to fly''
That Eddy Duchin's original am'ot-'
tion was to have his own drug store,
and that his father is a New England
drug store magnate?
That Tommy Dorsey's hobby is
miniature trains?
That Benny Goodman iias eight
clarinets, or that his pop was & tailor,
or that Benny was a child prodigy?
, That John Kirby became a bass
player when some one stole his trom
bone?
That Horace Heidt was a star aC:
lete at Culver Military Institute and
at the University of California?
That Francis "Muggsy" Spanier
quit semi-pro baseball to play Bix
Biederbecke?
That the Bob Crosby band is a co
operative band, and that Bob is only
A Vice-President?
That Leo Dyer and Ork once went
ell the way from New York to Paris
to play for one of Elsa Maxwell’s
parties?
As we wind up this year several
personalitie} stand out foremost In
our mind(?). First there was the timid
freshman who preferred blondes be
cause he was afraid of the dark. Se
condly, there’s the girl who is so mo
dest she pulls down the shades to
change her mind. Thirdly, there was
the girl who was such a flirt that
every time she passed a field of wav
ing corn she waVed back. Then there
was the guy who was so careful he
reminded us of a nudist crossing a
barbed wire fence. But the ones who
touched us the deepest were the ones
who were always as broke as a pick
pocket in a nudist camp.
That ought to be enough stuff for
this issue. In fact that ought to be
enough stuff to fertilize a small farm!
However, because we are of a ge
nerous nature we give you this very
practical hint. The best way to keep
milk from souring Is to leave it In
the cow.
(ill 51001
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Flowers
For All Occasions
See C)iir C^ampns Ajfcnt
“Buster” Butl('r cr
Moorefield Florist
Two Doors Below Parainoimt
Biirliiigton, N. C.
HEY
I The Gang's All Here
Elon Soda Shop
BEST FRIEND
• • •
of the well groomed is
the Cleaner — See him
regularly.
« * «
Blalocks Tailoring Shop
Across From Paramount
BURLINGTON, N. C.
TrolUngers
Buy Direct And Save
Members Florists Telegraph
Delivery
Best In Flowers
Burliiifitton, X. C.
THE Highlight Of The Season
■'Kk' '
mm
mm
m
By far the outstanding event
of the year was the mysterous
conflagration that destroyed the
entire north wing of West Dor
mitory. The blaze started about
four o’clock in the morning and
burned for approximately two
hours before it could be extin
guished.
Firemen arrived soon after
the fire was discovered and ma
naged to partly smother the
blaze, but the south wing was
saved largely because of the
heavy leaded fire doors separat
ing the two sections of the build
ing.
The dining-hall was estimated
to be a loss of $30,000 to the col
lege.
WANT A PIPE?
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CITY DRUG CO.
Burlington, N. C.
ALAMANCE
Laundry & Dry Cleaners
WE DO IT BETTER
Burlington, N. C.
Pause
Go refreshed
m
Drink ice>cokl Coca-Cola. Taste Hs delicious goodness. Enjoy
the happy after-sense of refreshment it brings. By just this
experience of complete refreshment, millions have come to
welcome the quality of Coca-Cola—the quality of tfce reo/ timg.
eOTTLEO UNDfR AUTHORITY Of THE COCA.COIA COMPANY BY
BURLINGTON COCA-COLA BOTTL ING COMPANY
BURLINGTON, N. C.
You trust its quality